Is Divorce the Unforgivable Sin?

[thomas15]

...my wife left me for another man, and another, and another. The church I held my license with and was months from ordination with, dropped me like a hot potato.

My situation is no where near as intense. The issue you ask? My wife was married and divorced before we ever met. I have been in 2 churches that would say that since Jesus said that if a man marries a woman who was previously married, he (the man although he personally had not divorced) commits adultery. There is a death benefit in there and my wife's ex is shall we say dead but he was alive when we were married. One of my former Church has in it's statement of faith that one such as myself would not qualify for deacon/elder.

I struggled with this for many years because someone in their eyes could commit murder and then be saved and serve but not one such as myself. There was no way that I could possibly say in my heart that I would spend time going to Bible college/seminary (with a family and all) and not even be qualified to be a deacon in my local church.

We have been married for 26 years now and yes, at some point I'm going to get a seminary degree but not to become a full time worker. Rather just for the love of learning. I have no bad feelings and sometime I think I have used the situation to my advantage in not obeying the Lord to serve. This is the sin I worry about, not what a church group has to say about it.

 

[HAMel]

I have no bad feelings and sometime I think I have used the situation to my advantage in not obeying the Lord to serve.

Just as with RD2, don't allow Satan to pile guilt upon guilt over something you should or should not have done. There is nothing you can do to change the past so just look forward. Then, where have you not obeyed the Lord? If you say that "sometimes I think..." then stop thinking! Like the old joke, "Hey Doc, when hurts when I go like this!". Doc, "Then stop going like that!" Those who are or have judged you that's something they will have to deal with. No point in critically judging yourself only to feel guilty. May the Lord continue to bless you.

 

[gb93433]

My situation is no where near as intense. The issue you ask? My wife was married and divorced before we ever met. I have been in 2 churches that would say that since Jesus said that if a man marries a woman who was previously married, he (the man although he personally had not divorced) commits adultery.

If one interprets it that way then they are limiting God to the physical. God is not limited to that definition of adultery. James uses the word adulteresses. Malachi uses adulterer.

Adultery is anything that violates God's perfect will.

 

[thomas15]

Those who are or have judged you that's something they will have to deal with. No point in critically judging yourself only to feel guilty. May the Lord continue to bless you.

All of what you are saying I know but I appreciate your saying it. No, I don't dwell on this and actually, what I feel called to do is get either a medical technology degree or nursing and enter the mission field in that capacity. This is of course a long term thing and I have some unfinished academic business to attend to in the by and by. I have to say I have been blessed in many ways.

 

[HAMel]

No, I don't dwell on this and....

Good for you!

 

[DiamondLady]

If you look at what the Biblical definition of deacon is, they're servants. It's not a position of power or authority. Deacons serve their church. One can do that without being elected or ordained to the "office" of deacon (which isn't in the Bible).

The role of deacon is one of servitude. How many deacons do you know who will, at a church potluck, get up from their table and take the plates of the elderly widow ladies and take them to the kitchen, or will help the children get their plates and drinks, sit with them and help them to eat. How many deacons do you know who will sit with those unruly van kids during the worship service? How many deacons do you know who go visit those widow ladies and fix things around their houses, run them to doctor visits, make sure they have their medicines or take them to do errands? How many deacons do you know who'll take little Johnny to a baseball game because he doesn't have a dad?

A very smart person once said, "One doesn't have to be ordained as a deacon to do the job." Our churches need a lot more men willing to do the job rather than wear the title.

 

[annsni]

See, at our church, the deacons don't just set the table. They decide on the budget, work on some of the policy and practice at the church and DO have some governing authority. So we do ordain them and they are all men.

 

[HAMel]

If you look at what the Biblical definition of deacon is, they're servants. It's not a position of power or authority. Deacons serve their church. One can do that without being elected or ordained to the "office" of deacon (which isn't in the Bible).

The role of deacon is one of servitude. How many deacons do you know who will, at a church potluck, get up from their table and take the plates of the elderly widow ladies and take them to the kitchen, or will help the children get their plates and drinks, sit with them and help them to eat. How many deacons do you know who will sit with those unruly van kids during the worship service? How many deacons do you know who go visit those widow ladies and fix things around their houses, run them to doctor visits, make sure they have their medicines or take them to do errands? How many deacons do you know who'll take little Johnny to a baseball game because he doesn't have a dad?

A very smart person once said, "One doesn't have to be ordained as a deacon to do the job." Our churches need a lot more men willing to do the job rather than wear the title.

Good for you! :thumbsup: Tell it like it is! :thumbsup: The Word cuts like a Two Edged Sword! :thumbsup:

Many congregations today have "strayed" so far from ORIGINAL INTENT of the Word and the teachings of Jesus they can't see the trees for the forest! We get so burdened down in our own pompousness and self-importance it's a wonder anything gets done.

Deacon Jones can't drive Sister Smith to her doctor's appointment because someone might see 'em together and talk about it. Hey, grow up! We are all to serve each other and if ones tongue is hinged in the middle and flapping on both ends they need to be called on the carpet!

Good for you, DiamondLady!!!!

 

[jaigner]

The Bible says that a divorced person is no longer qualified to be a church elder. period. What's to question?

Uh oh. Someone's getting caught with his exegesis down.

 

[HAMel]

Uh oh. Someone's getting caught with his exegesis down.

...I don't think I am the one who said that? If I did it was a copy and paste job from another poster.

Could be wrong though. Check it out and see.

 

[HAMel]

Perhaps I did type that. May I ask that you elaborate a bit more.

 

[DiamondLady]

See, at our church, the deacons don't just set the table. They decide on the budget, work on some of the policy and practice at the church and DO have some governing authority. So we do ordain them and they are all men.

They're not true Deacons then. Our Deacons serve the needs of the church. The finance committee sets the budget, and other committees and organizations do the other work of the church. Our deacons serve. Their only "authority" work is they have complete governance over the benevolent work of the church. They do sit and serve on other committees and serve often in an advisory capacity but otherwise their work is of service. Our #1 question when thinking about adding new deacons is, "do they have a servant's heart?"

 

[John Toppass]

If they aren't under bondage because their spouse left them, then they are free.

They are not under the bondage of their spouses adultery that is what the bondage is.

 

[annsni]

They're not true Deacons then. Our Deacons serve the needs of the church. The finance committee sets the budget, and other committees and organizations do the other work of the church. Our deacons serve. Their only "authority" work is they have complete governance over the benevolent work of the church. They do sit and serve on other committees and serve often in an advisory capacity but otherwise their work is of service. Our #1 question when thinking about adding new deacons is, "do they have a servant's heart?"

The deacons also do service things as well but that is not their only role.

 

[jaigner]

Uh oh. Someone's getting caught with his exegesis down.

...I don't think I am the one who said that? If I did it was a copy and paste job from another poster.

Could be wrong though. Check it out and see.

Oh, I couldn't tell since it wasn't in the quote box and there wasn't a citation.

Whoever said it is getting caught with his exegesis down.

 

[convicted1]

They are not under the bondage of their spouses adultery that is what the bondage is.

Let's use this analogy I have used numerous. Say my wife is a sot, and everyone, even the local police, know it. One day, they pull me over and arrest me for DUI. I tell them I haven't drank in years. They say, "It doesn't matter. Your wife does, and you're going to jail because of it." Same thing holding the man accountable for the wife who cheated and then left. He's paying the "tab" for the "bill" she made.

 

[Jon-Marc]

I would say it depends on the circumstances of the divorce as to whether or not a person can still serve God, although I don't think anyone is disqualified from serving God in SOME way--even if it's only as a church janitor. They can always pray for the lost and witness to them.

I had a pastor whose wife left him, and he eventually remarried. I don't know if he was wrong to remarry, but his wife had no scriptural reason to leave him.