Is it okay to "Whip" a Child?

[Zaac]

Charles Barkley on Adrian Peterson: 'Every black parent in the South' whips their children



Barkley: "I'm from the South. I understand Boomer's (Esiason) rage and anger ... but he's a white guy and I'm a black guy. I don't know where he's from (editor's note: Esiason grew up in Long Island), I'm from the South. Whipping -- we do that all the time. Every black parent in the South is going to be in jail under those circumstances."

Rome: "It doesn't matter where you're from: Right is right and wrong is wrong."

Barkley: "I don't believe that because, listen, we spank kids in the South. I think the question about whether Adrian Peterson went overboard -- Listen, Jim, we all grow up in different environments. Every black parent in my neighborhood in the South would be in trouble or in jail under those circumstances."

Rome: "My thing is: I don't want to tell anybody how to raise their kids and I really don't want anybody telling me how to raise my kids. But let's make a distinction between 'child rearing' and 'child abuse.' That was child abuse. There's no fine line here."

Barkley: "I think there's a fine line. Jim, I've had many welts on my legs. I've gotten beat with switches -- and I don't even like the term. When the media talks about it, 'beating a child'--

Rome: "But that's what that was, Charles."

Barkley: "We called it 'spanking' or 'whipping' our kids."

Rome: "If I see open wounds or bruises on a body that is a beating."

Barkley: "Sure. I think those pictures are disturbing. And I think Adrian said 'I went overboard.' But as far as being from the South, we all spanked our kids -- I got spanked, me an my two brothers"--

Rome: "But then, Chuck, not now, right? 1964 is one thing, 2014 is another. Maybe we need to rethink this thing."

Barkley: "And I totally agree with that. But I think we have to really be careful trying to teach other parents how to discipline their kids. That's a very fine line."

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-b...he-south--whips-their-children-202259157.html


Note that I am not talking about abuse. But spanking. I don't think this is anything unique to Southern Blacks. Southern Whites, Northern Blacks and Northern Whites all used to "whip" their children with switches, belts, etc. Gosh we used to get paddled when I was in school.

Perhaps this "you can't whip them" attitude is part of the reason why kids are out of control. Too much government intervention in parents simply disciplining their kids.

While I don't know the details of the Adrian Peterson story, I just don't have a problem with a parent DISCIPLINING THEIR child.

I can't think of a time that I got a "whippin"(in my best Southern dialect) from my parents or my grandparents that it didn't leave a welt or a raised mark. They weren't supposed to be soft.

But if welts are the criteria, Charles is right. Just about everyone in the South and the North too who ever used a switch or belt on their child would be in jail.

This seems to be more of the enemies work to destroy the family by taking away something God says that parents are to do.

 

[preachinjesus]

Parental discipline is best kept to the decisions of a parent.

However, I've given the counsel that if you draw blood or leave significant bruising you've stepped over a line and are being abusive.

Growing up, I got paddled plenty. Never a belt, never a switch. Only once did my father go a bit too far and he apologized to me and my family. It was a moment of leadership I still remember even though I was six at the time.

 

[InTheLight]

While I don't know the details of the Adrian Peterson story, I just don't have a problem with a parent DISCIPLINING THEIR child.

I can't think of a time that I got a "whippin"(in my best Southern dialect) from my parents or my grandparents that it didn't leave a welt or a raised mark. They weren't supposed to be soft.

After stuffing the leaves from the tree branch (the switch) into his boy's mouth so no one would hear him cry out, Peterson whipped his four year old child until he left at least nine bleeding lacerations, many of them several inches long. He also hit him once across the scrotum. The boy's offense? He tried to push his brother away from the video game he was playing because he felt it was his turn to play.

Personally, I don't have a problem with spanking, using paddles, or switches to discipline children. But whipping a four year old until he bleeds? Excessive. And that is the point of the indictment. Did Peterson's discipline exceed community standards? He's going to have to convince a jury that he didn't intend to hurt his child and that this sort of discipline is normal. Good luck with that Mr. Peterson.

Peterson's excuse? "That's what my dad did to me. I'm only doing what my dad did to me." Yeah, and your dad was in prison for years for dealing crack cocaine. So not the greatest role model.

Note: I'm a Vikings fan. Peterson is the best running back in the last 25-30 years. He is the face of my favorite football team. I hope he never plays football again.

 

[Zaac]

After stuffing the leaves from the tree branch (the switch) into his boy's mouth so no one would hear him cry out, Peterson whipped his four year old child until he left at least nine bleeding lacerations, many of them several inches long. He also hit him once across the scrotum. The boy's offense? He tried to push his brother away from the video game he was playing because he felt it was his turn to play.

That does sound overboard. Rule of thumb is to not spank your kids when you are angry. And it just doesn't take 9 swats for a four year old.

He really stuffed the leaves in the kid's mouth and then spanked him?

Was the mom the one who told this or was it Peterson himself?

 

[InTheLight]

That does sound overboard. Rule of thumb is to not spank your kids when you are angry. And it just doesn't take 9 swats for a four year old.

And Adrian Peterson is a very, very strong man.

He really stuffed the leaves in the kid's mouth and then spanked him?

That's what the person that saw the police report said.

Was the mom the one who told this or was it Peterson himself?

The mother of the boy, Peterson's ex-wife, took the child to the doctor a few days after the incident. (This was in Minnesota.) Under Minnesota law, the doctor is compelled to report anything that might be considered abuse. This got the police involved.

This is all secondary information, not directly relevant to the child abuse case, but Adrian Peterson is not a very good person. He has (reportedly) seven children, by multiple mothers (speculation is four women). Last year he found out he had a son via a woman in South Dakota, and a few months later the two year old boy was murdered by the mother's boyfriend. He's been arrested for fighting in a bar, driving 110 mph in a 55 zone. His dad was a crack dealer. He's been sued for not paying child support.

 

[Sapper Woody]

I am an advocate for corporal punishment. I use a wooden dow rod. I do not use my hand or a belt to spank, as I feel there needs to be a clear separation in the mind of a child as to what is used as an implement of discipline.

I personally think that opening a wound is going too far. A spanking should sting, but it shouldn't last. Once the discipline has been administered, there should be a reconciliation - a hug, and an explanation that you are not mad and do not hate your child, but want them to grow up and be a good person.

Now, I've had to get creative in my discipline of my daughters, because one of them bruises easily. Fortunately, that one is tenderhearted enough where a "timeout" does the trick.

 

[Revmitchell]

Some children may not need corporal punishment some do. My rules for spaning were:

1. No more than three licks depending on the offense

2. I sent them to their room 10 minutes prior to any discipline. This was a check on me should I have be angry about what they have done.

3. Never discipline when you are angry regardless of the form of pubishment.

4. After punishment is given be sure to talk with them in a manner that lets them know I love them. This is usually done an hour or so later.

5. A wooden paddle was used never my hand. When I reach for them with my hand I want them to know it is to hold or hug not spank.

Spanking is always best done in the younger years. Once they have become a teen you shouldn't need it.

 

[Use of Time]

I was spanked with a belt as a child. I don't harbor any ill will towards my parents about it or anything but I have done a 180 on the spanking thing. I once spanked my youngest daughter and I'll never forget the look of shock, hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I have to this date refused to lay a hand on my children ever again. I honestly can't defend it. I have found other methods more beneficial and educational for them when they do wrong. I can't or won't try to speak for everybody but I felt like I betrayed a trust to my children when I spanked them.

 

[Bro. Curtis]

Spanked ? I was hit with boards, wooden spoons, cattail reeds, whatever my mom could reach. My dad broke my tooth with his wedding ring.

My dad had this way of spanking us, where every syllable was a slap…"dont…you…ever…let….me…catch….you….doing….that…."

You get it. My dad hit us angry. My mom hit us angry. I grew up OK.

I only spanked my daughter three times, each one was a single swat on the butt. Then I would mentally beat myself up for days. I tried to punish her in more productive ways, writing, trying to make sure she understood what she did wrong. You know. What progressives call "loving and nurturing".

Anyway, my daughter has had nothing but trouble with the law since she was 16, has come close to overdosing on heroin several times, has committed credit card fraud, larceny, assault and battery, all to feed her heroin habit. She has spent several Christmas days in jail. My way of bringing her up was a complete failure.

My brothers and sisters all had the same beatings I did. None of us have ever been in any major trouble, none on welfare or food stamps, all of us gainfully employed, 4 of us work for ourselves. One special ed teacher. One newspaper printer. One grocery store manager. My daughter who was not spanked in anger has put herself in a hole that will take years for her to get out of.

 

[InTheLight]

Spanked ? I was hit with boards, wooden spoons, cattail reeds, whatever my mom could reach. My dad broke my tooth with his wedding ring.

My dad had this way of spanking us, where every syllable was a slap…"dont…you…ever…let….me…catch….you….doing….that…."

You get it. My dad hit us angry. My mom hit us angry. I grew up OK.

I only spanked my daughter three times, each one was a single swat on the butt. Then I would mentally beat myself up for days. I tried to punish her in more productive ways, writing, trying to make sure she understood what she did wrong. You know. What progressives call "loving and nurturing".

Anyway, my daughter has had nothing but trouble with the law since she was 16, has come close to overdosing on heroin several times, has committed credit card fraud, larceny, assault and battery, all to feed her heroin habit. She has spent several Christmas days in jail. My way of bringing her up was a complete failure.

My brothers and sisters all had the same beatings I did. None of us have ever been in any major trouble, none on welfare or food stamps, all of us gainfully employed, 4 of us work for ourselves. One special ed teacher. One newspaper printer. One grocery store manager. My daughter who was not spanked in anger has put herself in a hole that will take years for her to get out of.

Bro.Curtis, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself regarding your daughter. You can't know that if you would have spanked her she would have turned out differently.

 

[InTheLight]

Adrian Peterson has been reinstated by the Vikings.

This is bald-faced hypocrisy, and opportunism. In a similar incident in 2011, one of their cornerbacks, Chris Cook, was arrested on domestic violence charges. (He allegedly beat up his girlfriend.)The Vikings suspended him indefinitely without pay, saying they would await the results of the legal actions against Cook. Cook did not play the rest of the season and would eventually be found innocent of the charges. He rejoined the team for the next season.

Here, the Vikings have decided to reinstate a player that committed an almost identical crime, a crime that carries a much stiffer sentence if convicted than Cook's crime, because they want to win football games. In essence, the Vikings decided that Peterson is a better player than Cook and they need him on the field. They have no concern for legal proceedings in this instance.

 

[Use of Time]

Bro.Curtis, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself regarding your daughter. You can't know that if you would have spanked her she would have turned out differently.

I second this. Kids are kids and then they turn into adults. Upbringing is a factor but ultimately people end up figuring out their life on their own despite their upbringing. Sometimes positively and unfortunately sometimes negatively. Please don't beat yourself up on what might have been.

 

[Bro. Curtis]

Bro.Curtis, I wouldn't be too hard on yourself regarding your daughter. You can't know that if you would have spanked her she would have turned out differently.

I'm a lot easier on myself than I was a few years ago. You are correct. The pain now is just the pain of watching it. She was a sweet kid, track star, piano player, private Christian schools…..


It's the devastating fruits of the sinful lifestyle I had prior to 1999. Anytime I see someone defend purposefully bringing a child into the world without two loving parents I want to scream. This isn't a third party story, or a fairy tale. I went through this. Sin destroys things. It should not be winked at.

 

[Bro. Curtis]

Getting back to the O/P, I thought, several times both of my parents went overboard on us.

We have to assume a lot of very successful people were whipped as kids. We have to assume a lot of great people whipped their own kids.

And people will try and re-define "whipping" to hitting your dog in the nose with the morning paper.

Acting in anger and hurting your kid is not cool.

Also, after a whipping' I'd be outside raisin' Cain again in five minutes. Putting me in my room without my radio was a much more effective way for me to ponder my actions. And, there's the fact that by 14 I was bigger than my dad, and playing several sports. Not that I would have ever done anything back in a million years. He knocked me around pretty good right up until I joined the Navy.

 

[annsni]

I spanked each and every one of my children, either with my hand or with a wooden spoon. I don't buy into the "I won't use my hand because I want them to know love from my hand and not pain" because honestly, how often are you spanking? How many times does your hand spank vs. care on your child? If you are spanking non-stop then maybe I will agree with you but really, if a child can't understand the difference then I don't think they can understand the difference between a parent disciplining them with a rod or that same parent going to hug them with the wooden spoon in the hand from cooking. I've just never had that problem.

But when I spanked, I would leave only a redness to the skin. That's it. Never a welt, never a cut, never a bruise. It was the kind of redness that would be gone in a few minutes. That's it. But otherwise, I'm with RevMitchell and had very similar rules.

 

[InTheLight]

That does sound overboard. Rule of thumb is to not spank your kids when you are angry. And it just doesn't take 9 swats for a four year old.

He hit him 14 times. Nine times he drew blood.

 

[Zaac]

I was spanked with a belt as a child. I don't harbor any ill will towards my parents about it or anything but I have done a 180 on the spanking thing. I once spanked my youngest daughter and I'll never forget the look of shock, hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I have to this date refused to lay a hand on my children ever again. I honestly can't defend it. I have found other methods more beneficial and educational for them when they do wrong. I can't or won't try to speak for everybody but I felt like I betrayed a trust to my children when I spanked them.

U of T, I think the key is what Sapper said. You never use your hand because you want there to be a distinction between YOU and discipline.

 

[Use of Time]

U of T, I think the key is what Sapper said. You never use your hand because you want there to be a distinction between YOU and discipline.

I don't know, I kind of see that as a copout more for the parent than the child. When I was spanked it really didn't make a difference whether it was with a belt or a hand. Look I'm not going to get into an argument on this. Your kids are your kids to discipline as you see fit barring any crossing of the line into abuse. It is just a decision I have made and plan to stand by. I just know that I can never experience that feeling of guilt and the look in my daughter's eyes ever again.

 

[annsni]

I was spanked with a belt as a child. I don't harbor any ill will towards my parents about it or anything but I have done a 180 on the spanking thing. I once spanked my youngest daughter and I'll never forget the look of shock, hurt and betrayal in her eyes. I have to this date refused to lay a hand on my children ever again. I honestly can't defend it. I have found other methods more beneficial and educational for them when they do wrong. I can't or won't try to speak for everybody but I felt like I betrayed a trust to my children when I spanked them.

That's the same look I get when I'm disciplined by God. But then I know the seriousness of my offense and I know that I hurt my Daddy's heart and I apologize, ask forgiveness and ask for Him to help me to overcome that sin in my life.

 

[InTheLight]

News Flash. Adrian Peterson disciplined another child of his (by another woman) that resulted in a head wound and a permanent scar over his right eye. This boy was also 4 years old.

http://www.khou.com/story/news/inve...r-son-while-disciplining-4-year-old/15693941/