Is it proper for a pastor be Single

[Salty]

John of Japan on another thread stated:
"As a senior in high school I began praying for God's will for a wife for me. I was perfectly willing to serve God with or without a wife. All I wanted was God's will for me, and I prayed in that way. My prayer was, "Lord, lead me to the wife you have for me in such a way that everyone knows you did it, so you get the glory." I prayed this for 9 years, and then God answered."



Paul tells Timothy that a pastor should be the husband of one wife. (I Tim 3:3)
So is this a commandment that a pastor must have a wife. or....

Does the same apply to a missionary?

 

[Reynolds]

Paul also said it is best to not marry but only marry if you burn in your flesh with uncontrollable passion.

 

[Charlie24]

Paul also said it is best to not marry but only marry if you burn in your flesh with uncontrollable passion.

When Paul said that he said that he spoke by permission and not by commandment.

It was Paul's personal opinion, and it appears by the Holy Spirit giving him that permission He considered it good advise.

 

[Ben1445]

To say that one must be married is to say that Paul was not qualified.

Paul said it was best if people were not cambered with the responsibilities of this world so that they could focus better on the next.
Paul also taught against forbidding to marry.

Paul had a balance. So should we.

 

[Salty]

OPPS - sorry, somehow, I had left "Single"' off the title !
Just corrected it!

 

[JonC]

John of Japan on another thread stated:
"As a senior in high school I began praying for God's will for a wife for me. I was perfectly willing to serve God with or without a wife. All I wanted was God's will for me, and I prayed in that way. My prayer was, "Lord, lead me to the wife you have for me in such a way that everyone knows you did it, so you get the glory." I prayed this for 9 years, and then God answered."



Paul tells Timothy that a pastor should be the husband of one wife. (I Tim 3:3)
So is this a commandment that a pastor must have a wife. or....

Does the same apply to a missionary?

I believe Paul was prohibiting polygamy, not recommending that pastors or missionaries should marry.

The reason I believe this is Paul was single and he recommended that Chriatians who are single remain so in order not to divide their attention or responsibilities between ministry and family.

 

[Salty]

I believe Paul was prohibiting polygamy, not recommending that pastors or missionaries should marry.

The reason I believe this is Paul was single and he recommended that Chriatians who are single remain so in order not to divide their attention or responsibilities between ministry and family.

some say Paul was married and that his "Thorn in the flesh" was his wife"
Guess we wont know till we get to Glory!
But Jon - you bring up a good point - as that is the reasoning used for a man who is divorced

 

[JonC]

some say Paul was married and that his "Thorn in the flesh" was his wife"
Guess we wont know till we get to Glory!
But Jon - you bring up a good point - as that is the reasoning used for a man who is divorced

Well....Paul said he was single....but maybe he was married and became single because he kept calling his wife a thorn in his flesh, asking God to take her away.

 

[Some Rando]

I think it unlikely that Paul was a bachelor. Obviously, he was unmarried at the time he wrote I Corinthians and may have been a widower or left by an unbelieving wife. Perhaps that would explain his speaking of how to deal with a spouse who is unbelieving. But, a Pharisee of meaningful influence was highly unlikely to be a bachelor as I understand it.

 

[Ben1445]

I think it unlikely that Paul was a bachelor. Obviously, he was unmarried at the time he wrote I Corinthians and may have been a widower or left by an unbelieving wife. Perhaps that would explain his speaking of how to deal with a spouse who is unbelieving. But, a Pharisee of meaningful influence was highly unlikely to be a bachelor as I understand it.

I don’t think Paul would have left the care of his own to become “worse than an infidel.”
I assume that what he spoke on the subject was by commandment and not permission of the Holy Spirit.
I don’t think Scripture bears out that he was divorced. I might be able to entertain (without having considered it yet) that he was widowed. I would be surprised if it were so and never mentioned or directly alluded to.

 

[Some Rando]

I don’t think Paul would have left the care of his own to become “worse than an infidel.”
I assume that what he spoke on the subject was by commandment and not permission of the Holy Spirit.
I don’t think Scripture bears out that he was divorced. I might be able to entertain (without having considered it yet) that he was widowed. I would be surprised if it were so and never mentioned or directly alluded to.

Scripture does not bear out that he was divorced, no. But, it doesn't bear out that he was a bachelor either. Only that he was unmarried at the time of writing I Cor. Scripture gives us no other information. It is only that, as I understand it, Pharisees (and he was an influential one) were invariably married as it was a matter of respect. Spiritual authority and respect within Jewish circles was hard to come by for unmarried men. A bachelor simply did not have the respect of his peers (generally).
If Paul were a widower, it is no dishonor to him.
If Paul's wife were an unbeliever who left him after his conversion, it is no dishonor to him.
If anything, it shows his commitment to the gospel.

This, of course, is speculation.
But, it is also rather a speculative assumption that he was a bachelor, as historically, Pharisees considered marriage to be highly important for religious and social leaders.

 

[Ben1445]

Scripture does not bear out that he was divorced, no. But, it doesn't bear out that he was a bachelor either. Only that he was unmarried at the time of writing I Cor. Scripture gives us no other information. It is only that, as I understand it, Pharisees (and he was an influential one) were invariably married as it was a matter of respect. Spiritual authority and respect within Jewish circles was hard to come by for unmarried men. A bachelor simply did not have the respect of his peers (generally).
If Paul were a widower, it is no dishonor to him.
If Paul's wife were an unbeliever who left him after his conversion, it is no dishonor to him.
If anything, it shows his commitment to the gospel.

This, of course, is speculation.
But, it is also rather a speculative assumption that he was a bachelor, as historically, Pharisees considered marriage to be highly important for religious and social leaders.

He began his career as a young man. Acts 7.
He was quite a busy man and didn’t spend much time doing anything but persecuting the church.
Then he immediately left his family and spent 3 years in the wilderness without taking interest or consideration for them?
I am skeptical, to say the very least, that he was ever married.
It is very unlikely that a person who ascends to the highest political office would be a bachelor. There is usually a First Lady to be a hostess to guests. But as unlikely as it is, the US has had a President who was never married in his lifetime, before during or after his Presidency.
Probability is not real proof. It can sometimes prove the exception.

 

[Some Rando]

Probability is not real proof. It can sometimes prove the exception.

Correct.
No one is claiming to have "proof". Who is suggesting that he immediately left his family for 3 years and took "no interest or consideration" for them? There are few details to Paul's history at this period. Maybe he tried desperately for 6 months to bring his estranged bride into the fold? As far as she is concerned, her previously pious and promising husband ran off to join a cult. Maybe he had no children. Who knows? It simply doesn't say. It also doesn't say he was a confirmed bachelor either.

Both would be assumptions.

 

[Ben1445]

Correct.
No one is claiming to have "proof". Who is suggesting that he immediately left his family for 3 years and took "no interest or consideration" for them? There are few details to Paul's history at this period. Maybe he tried desperately for 6 months to bring his estranged bride into the fold? As far as she is concerned, her previously pious and promising husband ran off to join a cult. Maybe he had no children. Who knows? It simply doesn't say. It also doesn't say he was a confirmed bachelor either.

Both would be assumptions.

Galatians 1:16
To reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen; immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:
Neither went I up to Jerusalem to them which were apostles before me; but I went into Arabia, and returned again unto Damascus.
Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter, and abode with him fifteen days.


This is the timeline I am loosely referencing. It doesn’t sound like he has any responsibilities to me.

 

[canadyjd]

….

Paul tells Timothy that a pastor should be the husband of one wife. (I Tim 3:3)
So is this a commandment that a pastor must have a wife. or....

Does the same apply to a missionary?

Simple answer, no, being married isn’t a requirement for a Pastor, though I understand those that believe it is.

The “husband of one wife” is literally “a one woman kind of man” and goes much farther than simply prohibiting mutable marriages or divorces.

It means the husband has always been faithful to his wife, never straying, and always caring for her as commanded in scripture.

I’ve seen pastor and deacons never divorce and be a long way from fulfilling the meaning of this passsge.

Peace to you

 

[Van]

1 Timothy 3:2 NASB
An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, skillful in teaching,

The OP wondered if this verse was a command to have one wife? My answer is NO! The idea is that the person does not have multiple wives.

Paul clearly taught we are not required to be married. 1 Corinthians 7:5-9

I agree with Salty concerning leaders who remarried, we use the "one wife at a time" view and the must have been the faithful spouse in the prior divorce, if remarried. rather than "must have a wife" view.

 

[Salty]

1 Timothy 3:2 NASB


I agree with Salty concerning leaders who remarried, we use the "one wife at a time" view and the must have been the faithful spouse in the prior divorce, if remarried. rather than "must have a wife" view.

Suppose a man was married for 3--4 ears - was not faithful wife divorces and she re-marries.
Ten years later the unfaithful man gets saved - then re-married and has become faithful.
I would have no problem with him becoming a pastor.

On the above example ....Ten years later the unfaithful man rededicates his life to the Lord....... -

 

[Van]

Suppose a man was married for 3--4 ears - was not faithful wife divorces and she re-marries.
Ten years later the unfaithful man gets saved - then re-married and has become faithful.
I would have no problem with him becoming a pastor.

On the above example ....Ten years later the unfaithful man rededicates his life to the Lord....... -

Yes, the behavior of a person before they professed salvation does not necessarily disqualify. OTOH, dangerous behavior could be grounds for disqualification from leadership, even if it happened before the person professed salvation. I think the specific circumstances and the leading of a plurality of Elders should govern. For example, some leaders are able to fulfill some roles, but not other roles. I could balance the books, but would have been less than helpful counseling teenage girls.

 

[Deacon]

As I've aged my thoughts on this passage has become more limber.
IMO, the phrase "one-woman man" has some flexibility of meaning.

I believe the general intention of the passage is that an elder should be devoted to one wife at a time.

The additional context of the passage in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 would likely exclude a divorcée (above reproach, self-controlled, respectable, not violent, not quarrelsome, well thought of), but not necessarily.

A pastor whose wife has died would be able to continue his ministry without interruption - and even remarry (particularly important if there were children needing motherly care).

Rob

 

[Salty]

Yes, the behavior of a person before they professed salvation does not necessarily disqualify. OTOH, dangerous behavior could be grounds for disqualification from leadership, even if it happened before the person professed salvation. I think the specific circumstances and the leading of a plurality of Elders should govern. For example, some leaders are able to fulfill some roles, but not other roles. I could balance the books, but would have been less than helpful counseling teenage girls.

Would you say that in essence - take each candidate (in regards to a divorce ) on a case by case basis?