4boys4joys said:
I do not know why questions give off the tone of anger. Asking about the subject could help someone when another Christian shares wisdom. I did not say that you could not be in the the place of submission and have love. The words you used to describe it just weren't that appealing.
It is not my business to evalaute whether or not my husband is fufilling his role ? It is not my business.Is this what you mean. So you mean to say that my husand can do whatever he chooses and I cannot ask about it unless he asks me ?
This is not anger. I am simply asking you to clarify this. And how does Eph. 5:21 fit into this. I am curious to see what some will say.
His role does not involve doing "whatever he chooses" as well as prohibiting you from asking about it unless he asks me. You have far exceeded any suggestion or intimation that could be drawn from anything I have stated.
Secondly, I didn't say the questions gave off the tone of anger, it was many of the responses (notice I didn't say ALL and I hope every single word and sentence I post isn't going to require detailed qualifying).
Frankly, the concept of the husband as the Administrator or Administrative Head in the marriage should be appealing. It makes clear HIS duties and the extent of his boundaries. As well, marriage is quite a bit of an organization. It obviously has a very clear structure regarding authority and roles. Add to that children and the organization grows.
The problem with people of course is that they get trapped by their own mentality at times and are unable to understand certain words outside of elementary contexts. An organization is NOT always a business (I am not saying YOU believe that but apparently some are only able to associate such words as administrative and organization with a business) and remember even the word business is not always referring to just commercial business. However, I am going to go further and hopefully you are open to at least attempting to understand my illustration whether you agree or not.
In the military you have people with rank. When a Sergeant salutes a Capt., did you know he or she is not saluting Capt. personally? The Sergeant is saluting the rank. Regardless of the Sergeant's opinion about whether he or she likes the Captain because is a a jerk or she is a witch, that is irrelevant. One is recognizing their subordination and saluting the rank. That is why anyone who is required to salute anyone in the military at anytime can because it isn't personal, it is a matter or organizational respect and the observance of protocol.
God has established some specific protocols for the divine institution of marriage and one of them is an organizational protocol; that being that the man is the head or in effect the Administrator. That means that in the end, after all considerations from all relevant parties what decision that is made for the organization...the marriage...lies on his shoulders and he is accountable to God. And of course while the marriage and the military are not the same, the point of organization structure IS. We all recognize that a marriage is the joining of two people and the military is merely an organization, but nevertheless though two people are joined as one it is clear God does have an organizational protocol for marriage with a head and a subordinate.
This also relieves the wife from the responsibility of being Administrative Head. And in fact it frees her up to fulfill her role which is the Bible teaches she was made to be help "appropriate" for him (the King James translates it "help meet" which is erroneously turned by some into helpmate which actually fails to properly represent the word "meet").
Hence she is able to focus her energies and concentration on exactly how she can best fulfill her role as his assistant. The trick of course is that a woman learn what it means to be "appropriate" help. Constantly secondly guessing, constantly criticizing, complaining, attempting to manipulate, being a high drama queen, being a gossip, refusing intimacy because of some childish mood and so on, are all NOT ways, but I need not state the obvious so forgive me.
However, studying the husband and understanding his mentality, moods and what helps him the most is a the right start. And a clever woman who loves her husband and genuinely seeks to be appropriate help is going to be smarter than him in some areas. Her challenge is to, instead of being a manipulator, learn to be one that influences and accepts that she won't always get her way though she might see something he does not because she respects his role as Administrator. But a good woman will learn that over time and through consistency and devotion without pandering to a man's selfish side yet not berating him like some lecturing old biddy, a woman can wield tremendous influence without succumbing to being a manipulator.
Being the Administrator doesn't make a man by default the smartest, it simply makes him the one responsible for answering to the decisions made regarding the marriage. But a woman as appropriate help is also responsible to seek to influence her husband for the good without being a manipulator. A good Administrator will let his wife be free to exercise all her gifts and skills and recognize where she is superior in talent or intellect all the while keeping in tact his responsibility as Administrator. Only a foolish man uses his wife for selfish ends such as satisfying his narcissistic need to compensate for some inadequacy and mistreat her or keep her from excelling.
However, a foolish woman constantly contends with her husband, second guesses him and is never satisfied. A woman must accept that sometimes it won't go her way and her talent isn't going to be recognized instantly every time or be allowed to fly. He won't be perfect and neither will she and I am sure no one is suggesting that either is expect of the other.
