George Antonios
Well-Known Member
Brother, by God's grace I made a video about just that topic and I pray that the Biblical truths therein can minister peace to your troubled heart:
Dr. George Antonios
Dr. George Antonios
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Agreed. But my situation is in regards to the Spirit's departure due to extended time in sin. I see Esau's situation being a mirror image of mine.
So I know this is probably not a shocking title and that it's probably common to see a post like this. However, I've been struggling for some years over my possible loss of salvation. You may have seen my posts in the past. I'll link them below for those who would be interested. They may give a more robust explanation of what has happened.
Has my sin killed me spiritually? Loss of salvation
What to do when you are beyond repentance?
The short of it is as follows:
I became a believer around the age of 10 and saw a stark change in my life and desires. Hatred towards sin and love and desire for Christ. Shortly after I was exposed to pornography and formed an addiction. The following 17 years were an up and down dealing with addiction and the Lord drawing me back to repentance.
Until 2 years ago. I had been in a pit of sin and despair hating my sin and crying out to the Lord to free me from it but being, seemingly, unable to escape it for long. I had good moments of repentance during that time but I would always inevitable fall back into my sin. I would like to point out that this was not a time of me walking away from Christ in a knowing sense. It was a time of gripping Christ, struggling/falling, repenting, gripping Christ and struggling/falling. During that time I had just started seminary but was still struggling in my thought life and occasionally on the internet.
One night I fell to temptation and felt no remorse or brokenness. It was shocking and horrifying. I sinned and felt no conviction over it. I spent the rest of the night in prayer trying to repent and felt that I could not. Unable to feel broken over sin or that what I had done was a problem.
The next morning I woke up and began seeking the Lord about what had happened filled with an intense sense of deep, deep anxiety about my relationship with the Lord. During a time of prayer I felt, what seemed to me, the departing of the Holy Spirit. The reason I believe this to be true is because of the state of my heart and mind afterwords. My heart felt like a stone in my chest and I felt no love or desire for the Lord. My sin didn't seem to be a big deal to me anymore. I opened my bible and it looked like words on a page. It seemed that I no longer believed the Scriptures anymore no matter how hard I fought to. I knew experientially that they were true but there was not heart level belief. It was like I had undergone a de-renewing of my mind and heart. My thoughts were wicked and I had no regard for the Lord. It seemed as though he had left me completely. There was no work of the Holy Spirit occurring in my life. The Word was not illuminated, I was not convicted of sin and I felt a horrible fear of destruction. The most visceral fear of condemnation.
Two years later nothing has changed. At that time this began I had resolved that I would not continue in sin and that I would continue to submit to the Lord even if he had left me. I resolved to live what was rest of my life to the glory of God but that has become difficult in the lack of desire to do so. It does not seem possible to remain faithful to the Lord apart from the Holy Spirit's work to impart those desires. I have no desire to run head long into sin but I also do not desire the Lord.
I ran across these 2 articles last night and I believe they speak to my situation. I'm not sure what to do now.
What Is the Unforgivable Sin?
Beyond Forgiveness: Blasphemy Against the Spirit
The thing that stuck out to me was,
"The unforgivable sin is when you have resisted him so decisively that he has forsaken you and you can no longer repent. You try to repent and you can't repent. You can't be genuinely sorry for your sin or turn away from it. That is a horribly frightening situation to be in."
RC Sproul quoted a theologian saying, "To be sure, hell will be awful for both, but as one theologian has noted, all the sinners in hell would move heaven and earth if they could remove but one transgression from their record and have their punishment even barely alleviated."
Everything in my life points to this reality and I'm not sure how to move forward. My desires to remain faithful to the Lord have departed and I cannot continue if the Spirit does not empower. If there is no returning of the Holy Spirit because I have blasphemed though persistence in sin, what then should one do? Would it not be most profitable in my situation to remove myself from this life for the sake of my eternity?
This is one of the most mishandled texts in the Bible. Blasphemy of the Spirit is rejecting the Spirit's drawing to the point that He hardens you.
The only problem is that it doesn't say that. It's literally blaspheming the Holy Ghost, just like the scriptures say.
I can't change what the word of God says just because it's a difficult passage to resolve.
Gentlemen,
Blasphemy of the Spirit is attributing the work of God, via the Spirit, to the devil.
...
Please see Matthew 12:22-32.What I've heard for years. Actually, this explanation undermines the Gospel message of salvation by faith and not by works.
Please see Matthew 12:22-32.
Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is knowingly attributing His work to the Devil.....
Yes, I've noticed eminently Scriptural answers tend to rub you the wrong way.It's now official. I've heard this 12 million and 1 times. ......and now more convinced than ever it's wrong.
Yes, I've noticed eminently Scriptural answers tend to rub you the wrong way.
With respect, I think that this could be a good time to create a thread about it instead of hashing it out here.Indeed, ones that throw the basic concept of salvation by faith and not by works under the bus.
With respect, I think that this could be a good time to create a thread about it instead of hashing it out here.
This thread is to encourage Tyler in his troubles, isn't it?
I suggest making one in "Baptist Theology and Bible Study".
May God bless you sir.
Gentlemen,
Blasphemy of the Spirit is attributing the work of God, via the Spirit, to the devil.
No one who is saved would ever do that.
Tyler,
If I may be so bold ( and I really don't want to be, but it seems you and I have trashed ourselves in very much the same way, as believers )...
I think you're going through many of the same things I did when I allowed sin to run rampant in my own life for a very long time...including many of the things that you have described.
I'd be glad to tell you any of them, if you like, but not in the open forum.
Here's what I think has happened:
1) You've forgotten that your old sins were purged, because you've failed ( like I had ) to do the following:
" And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6 and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7 and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.
10 Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:" ( 2 Peter 1:5-10 )
2) I think that your life of yielding to sin has made your conscience shipwreck:
" Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck:" ( 1 Timothy 1:19 )
In this passage, many people read it to say that their faith can be shipwrecked...
This is not the case.
Look at it carefully.
It says holding faith...
and a good conscience...
Which some having put away ( put from them ) concerning faith...
...have made shipwreck.
So, like me, your conscience towards God is in the garbage can.
Mine was, and yours still is, from what I'm gathering.
The remedy is this:
" Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,
2 looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." ( Hebrews 12:1-2 ).
Lay aside the sins, seek the Lord through His word and prayer, and your conscience towards God will recover, in time.
Be patient.
Do your level best to obey the Lord, and to depart from iniquity.With your experience, how do I keep my head above water?
The Spirit does not abandon those who are His.How, in light of everything that I'm experiencing that would point the the Spirit's abandonment, do I keep going?
Are you sure about that?In the past, the Lord has been my strength, joy and encouragement through hardship. Now that it is gone, how do I keep going? I've asked for him to encourage my heart but it is still just as hard and unfeeling.
And yet, soldier on is what you must do.Continuing to put one foot in front of the other seems so pointless and hopeless.
Do your level best to obey the Lord, and to depart from iniquity.
Don't give in to your flesh, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him.
Take it one step at a time, and remember, He is your Deliverer.
The Spirit does not abandon those who are His.
They are sealed until the day of redemption ( Ephesians 1:13-14, Ephesians 4:30 ).
Are you sure about that?
Going by what you are telling me, you are concerned about your relationship with the Lord, and seem grieved by your disobedience to Him.
Unbelievers do not have a heartfelt remorse for their sins, neither do they have a sincere respect for the Lord and a fear of His power.
In other words, by your very own admission, you are gravely concerned about your relationship with God...
Which unbeliever's don't really care about.
Don't go by feelings...trust His words.
Read John 3 and Ephesians 2.
Then read Colossians 3 and 1 John as well as Romans 12.
And yet, soldier on is what you must do.
Remember your Saviour, and how He hung on the cross in suffering.
Do you see Him giving up on you?
If He would have, you would have had no hope for forgiveness.
He would have never shed His blood, and God would have never imputed His righteousness to you.
Think of Him hanging on that tree the next time that you stumble into sin...
Then think of Him the next time you doubt His love for you.
You're forgiven ( Colossians 2:13-14 ).
Rest in that.