I agree, but you're saying courtesy is to yield to one's illusions, and not to deal with them according to the truth.
One starts at the place one believes the hearer to be. Then move on from there.
Because she was a sinner, manifest by her adultery.
That's an extremely shallow view of her situation.
Since women did not have the ability to divorce, she had been divorced by five husbands and the man with whom she lived did not respect her enough to marry her. Unless a woman gave themselves over to prostitution, it was quite difficult for a woman to live in society without a man.
What we see is a woman who had a long history of being discarded by men (possibly for good reason, possibly not), who felt worthless.
She was astounded by their conversation because (1) Jesus was speaking to her, a woman; (2) Jesus was speaking to her, a Samaritan; (3) Jesus was speaking to her, an outcast in her own community; (4) and Jesus, as a prophet who knew all about her, still wanted to talk with her with respect and consideration.
And yet it was the issue on which Jesus dealt with her, and that found itself recorded in the Scripture. I think neither Jesus nor the Spirit were straining at a gnat.
Not a gnat, but to demonstrate to her that she could be accepted by God even in the midst of her terrible circumstances. She did not have to live in that diminished situation any longer.
Soooo, the point is. No Jesus would not yield one iota to Bruce's illusions, nor refer to him by any feminine misnomer.
No matter how much you think you have made your point, you have not - at least with me - since you don't seem to have a feel for what was going on in John 4.