Judge, Jury & Executioner

[HAMel]

What's the purpose of a Christian School? To teach and encourage or to sit in judgement of students demanding absolute perfection..., or else?

A young woman, 18 years of age and a Senior at one of our Christian Schools here in town wanted a dog. Her father refused to allow her to have one. Not long ago one of her father's employees presented her with a puppy. She didn't ask this guy for a dog..., he just presented it to her. Well, dad went balistic, daughter got mad, home life exploded and she moved in with her brother. Nothing more acutally, than a typical family dispute that would probably have worked itself out..., except for..., a nosy demigod masquerading as a Baptist Preacher and Head Master. The boy ain't right!

Somehow, the Head Master of the school discovered she had moved out..., probably the result of a (GIT) Gossiper In Training and informed this student that if she did not move back home with her parents she would be kicked out of school. This revelation didn't sit very well as the student graduates this coming June (in two months) so she dug her heels in as she felt the School should butt out of their personal family life. Yes, in two months she was to graduate from High School.

I can't believe it!!!

This young woman didn't take to running the streets in the buff nor did she start hanging out in one of our local bars, no, she moved in with her brother because of a spat with her father. Her brother graduated two years ago from this same Christian School.

It seems to me this Head Master has over-stepped his authority by butting into a family situation and, this action against this student will result in a life time of punishment in that she will end up with a GED vice a Certificate of Graduation.

In my most humble opinion..., and I do mean most humble opinion..., several men from the congregation needs to take this Head Master out behind the barn and whomp up on him a bit.

Now I know that Private Christian Schools have the right to develope a standard and expect their students to follow that standard..., but we are dealing with an 18 year old here and a father who lost his cool and everything went high and to the right almost immediately. It happens.

So, what say you? Demand total and complete conformity to the mandates of this school, the result of butting into the life of a family? Or jump directly to expulsion from the School?

What's the purpose of a Christian School anyway? To teach and encourage or to sit in judgement of students demanding absolute perfection?

 

[12strings]

1. This example has lots of people acting in unchristian ways:
-The daughter, who should have refused the dog knowing it would up-set the father.
-The Father, who should not have blown up at his daughter.
-The daughter, who should not have moved out.
-The brother, who should have said, "I care about you enough to tell you to got back to dad and apologize."
(and that's all before you get to the school...!)

2. Regarding the school's policy, I don't know the details, but most organization have residency regulations. If that was their policy. If they had no written policy, and just didn't like the idea of what happened, that would be another matter. I would say that this close to graduation, they should counsel the girl to reconcile with her father, but work with her rather than kicking her out.

3. Christian schools, and home-schools will always have a risk of pharisee-ism and legalism and judgementalism, but if done with a spirit of grace, are an excellent alternative to public schools for many people.

 

[HAMel]

Here's the main problem as I see it, 12strings.

There's a person, the victim of an accident, laying in the road suffering from severe rips and tears in his flesh with blood squirting out and the EMT's rush up and start dumping salt into the open wounds.

That is similar to what this Head Master did. Even before the family had time to evaluate their situation and work things out..., BANG!!!! Head Master demands student march to his drum beat or vacate the property.

...something ain't right here.

 

[12strings]

Here's the main problem as I see it, 12strings.

There's a person, the victim of an accident, laying in the road suffering from severe rips and tears in his flesh with blood squirting out and the EMT's rush up and start dumping salt into the open wounds.

That is similar to what this Head Master did. Even before the family had time to evaluate their situation and work things out..., BANG!!!! Head Master demands student march to his drum beat or vacate the property.

...something ain't right here.

You're probably right, but it doesn't mean we should shut down all the christian schools.

 

[matt wade]

We don't know all the facts here. In fact a lot of this is simply gossip. For all we know the story is completely skewed in the daughter's favor. Maybe the father didn't really "blow up"? Maybe he simply was firm that there would be no dog in his house and the daughter simply rebelled and left the home? Maybe the father went to the headmaster and discussed it with him and asked the headmaster to invoke their policy on a student living with their parents (which may exist, we simply don't know).

You see, I could rewrite this thing and paint the daughter in a horrible light and make it seem as if the father and headmaster are simply trying to bring a rebellious daughter home. We don't have the facts, let's not grab our pitchforks.

 

[HAMel]

matt wade, I feel quite confident that you could "rewrite this thing" lending credence to the Pope.

The issue is not the daughter; not the father; not the dog. The issue is the Head Master jumping right into the middle of an otherwise family situation that given a little time could probably have worked itself out.

Kicked out of school two months from graduation? That's a bit steep.

 

[annsni]

We don't know all the facts here. In fact a lot of this is simply gossip. For all we know the story is completely skewed in the daughter's favor. Maybe the father didn't really "blow up"? Maybe he simply was firm that there would be no dog in his house and the daughter simply rebelled and left the home? Maybe the father went to the headmaster and discussed it with him and asked the headmaster to invoke their policy on a student living with their parents (which may exist, we simply don't know).

You see, I could rewrite this thing and paint the daughter in a horrible light and make it seem as if the father and headmaster are simply trying to bring a rebellious daughter home. We don't have the facts, let's not grab our pitchforks.

I agree. I think there's more to it than we know.

 

[Arbo]

matt wade, I feel quite confident that you could "rewrite this thing" lending credence to the Pope.

The issue is not the daughter; not the father; not the dog. The issue is the Head Master jumping right into the middle of an otherwise family situation that given a little time could probably have worked itself out.

Kicked out of school two months from graduation? That's a bit steep.

How objective are you, or do you have a horse in this race?

They say there are two sides to every story.

 

[HAMel]

Okay, what "else" would you folks like to know? Spit it out.

Dad owns a business and sales are down a lot. Stress, I suppose.

Daughter wanted a dog. Dad said no.

Employee brought daughter a puppy. Dad went off.

Daughter went off.

The mud hit the fan..., 18 years old daughter..., probably responding to either hormones or hemorrhoids flare up and moves "out" to move "in" with her brother.

Head Master jumps into the fray offering up an ultimatum.

HEAD MASTER SHOULD HAVE MINDED HIS OWN BUSINESS ALLOWING THIS FAMILY SITUATION TO WORK ITSELF OUT.

 

[12strings]

Another possibility: The school has a policy requiring this action. The headmaster would like to give them time to work it out, but is accountable to a school-board who will not look kindly on the headmaster not following school policy in a situation like this.

Or...the school's position is that students who run away from Their parents are demonstrating "attitudes not in keeping with School standards." Many orginizations have escape clauses that allow them remove those who they feel are not making an effort to conform.

I'm not saying making everyone conform in every way is a good thing, but we could say the same thing about a situation in which the daughter was discovered to be sleeping with another boy in school. Some schools will be lenient and give them time to "work it out." Some schools would expel them.

 

[Aaron]

What's the purpose of a Christian School? To teach and encourage or to sit in judgement of students demanding absolute perfection..., or else?

A young woman, 18 years of age and a Senior at one of our Christian Schools here in town wanted a dog. Her father refused to allow her to have one. Not long ago one of her father's employees presented her with a puppy. She didn't ask this guy for a dog..., he just presented it to her. Well, dad went balistic, daughter got mad, home life exploded and she moved in with her brother. Nothing more acutally, than a typical family dispute that would probably have worked itself out..., except for..., a nosy demigod masquerading as a Baptist Preacher and Head Master. The boy ain't right!

Somehow, the Head Master of the school discovered she had moved out..., probably the result of a (GIT) Gossiper In Training and informed this student that if she did not move back home with her parents she would be kicked out of school. This revelation didn't sit very well as the student graduates this coming June (in two months) so she dug her heels in as she felt the School should butt out of their personal family life. Yes, in two months she was to graduate from High School.

I can't believe it!!!

This young woman didn't take to running the streets in the buff nor did she start hanging out in one of our local bars, no, she moved in with her brother because of a spat with her father. Her brother graduated two years ago from this same Christian School.

It seems to me this Head Master has over-stepped his authority by butting into a family situation and, this action against this student will result in a life time of punishment in that she will end up with a GED vice a Certificate of Graduation.

In my most humble opinion..., and I do mean most humble opinion..., several men from the congregation needs to take this Head Master out behind the barn and whomp up on him a bit.

Now I know that Private Christian Schools have the right to develope a standard and expect their students to follow that standard..., but we are dealing with an 18 year old here and a father who lost his cool and everything went high and to the right almost immediately. It happens.

So, what say you? Demand total and complete conformity to the mandates of this school, the result of butting into the life of a family? Or jump directly to expulsion from the School?

What's the purpose of a Christian School anyway? To teach and encourage or to sit in judgement of students demanding absolute perfection?

Sounds like objective, dispassionate reporting to me. How can the situation be other than you've described?

But before I weigh in, I gotta know . . . is this girl hot? Babeage is an important factor on whether or not her side should be taken. One's honor to mother and father, and other moral requirements are secondary.

 

[HAMel]

...you and your wife, or you and your husband..., and lets toss in a couple of teenage kids are out at a local restaurant.

A ruckus breaks out that should be dealt with by the family involved. You finish your meal and head for the door only to notice Sister (GIT) sitting at another table.

The next morning your pastor calls up. He's not interested in mediating, offering his help, being available if the needs arises..., but rather, informs you that if you don't throw yourself at the Mercy Seat of Christ next Sunday morning you're going to be excommunicated from the First Self-Righteous Church you've been attending for the last several years.

The only time one should empty their clip is if they are in combat and in doubt. Otherwise, one should be certain of their target before they go to shooting first and asking questions later.

Everyone of you who think it impossible for a Baptist Pastor to exalt himself to holier-than-thou status please raise your right hand.

The issue here, the main issue of this thread is someone butting into the personal lives of a family who otherwise should have stood by patiently to see if things would work themselves out. It's that simple.

 

[HAMel]

Sounds like objective, dispassionate reporting to me. How can the situation be other than you've described?

Right on! It isn't other than described!

Daughter; father; dog; situation at home..., Head Master jumps into the fray. :BangHead:

Give me a break... The old boy needed to have never butted in! He was way over his authority. Had the mess rolled over into the school..., that would have been in his preview.

 

[HAMel]

Sounds like objective, dispassionate reporting to me. How can the situation be other than you've described?

Right on! It isn't other than described!

Daughter; father; dog; situation at home..., Head Master jumps into the fray. :BangHead:

Give me a break... The old boy needed to have never butted in! He was way over his authority. Had the mess rolled over into the school..., that would have been in his territory.

 

[matt wade]

Do you know for a fact that the father and the headmaster didn't have conversations? Do you know for a fact that the father didn't ask the headmaster to intervene?

No one here is disputing that thins could be exactly as you describe. We are simply saying that they could be different. There are two sides to a story and you seem to only be presenting one side.

 

[annsni]

Did the father continue to pay tuition for a child who decided that they were going to move out because they don't need to be under dad's authority anymore? See, I'd not.

 

[HAMel]

Well folks, the spat between father and daughter happened last Tuesday..., right after school. On Thursday she was out of school.

...you know, in any group/gathering there's always 10%. On this forum I represent only about 1% of that usual 10%. The remaining 9% won't post as they do not want to put up with the criticism.

So, believe as you like.

 

[matt wade]

Well folks, the spat between father and daughter happened last Tuesday..., right after school. On Thursday she was out of school.

...you know, in any group/gathering there's always 10%. On this forum I represent only about 1% of that usual 10%. The remaining 9% won't post as they do not want to put up with the criticism.

So, believe as you like.

You simply don't get it, do you? We are simply saying that there might be more to this story. What's your source of the story? Are you getting it directly from the father or the daughter? If so, one of those sides could be biased. If you are getting it from a third party, aren't you listening to gossip?

Why can't you admit that you may not have the full story? You are jumping to conclusions without all the facts. In fact, you are doing exactly what you rail against the headmaster for...getting involved in something that isn't your business.

 

[HAMel]

You simply don't get it, do you? We are simply saying that there might be more to this story. What's your source of the story? Are you getting it directly from the father or the daughter? If so, one of those sides could be biased. If you are getting it from a third party, aren't you listening to gossip?

Why can't you admit that you may not have the full story? You are jumping to conclusions without all the facts. In fact, you are doing exactly what you rail against the headmaster for...getting involved in something that isn't your business.

No Matt Wade..., you're the one that's not getting it! My wife works for this man and speaks daily with his wife. The daughter's brother is dating my Grand Daughter..., so I suppose that yes, we are picking it all up second had.

Obviously we were not present in their home when the upset happened and were not privy to the behind the doors decision on the part of the Head Master. But what we do know is this young woman was a student last Tuesday and kicked out of school on Thursday...., two months away from her graduation. That, my friend, is a fact! The mandate on the part of the preacher is that she "must" live with her parents and not her brother.

Quite honestly, the father is now quite distraught over the entire matter but the decision has been made.

 

[annsni]

Obviously we were not present in their home when the upset happened and were not privy to the behind the doors decision on the part of the Head Master.

Thus you do not have all the facts, I'm sure.

The girl can still graduate. She can go to her local public school and graduate from there. It's not like she can never graduate. It will take some paperwork but it's been done plenty of times before.