So all you have is gossip? Based on the gossip you've presented, I would say that the daughter made a poor choice and now has to deal with the consequences of that poor choice.
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Judge, Jury & Executioner
- Thread starter HAMel
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So all you have is gossip? Based on the gossip you've presented, I would say that the daughter made a poor choice and now has to deal with the consequences of that poor choice.
I get what you're saying. The pastor's job is to SHEPHERD his sheep, not dictate and control them like puppets. Correction should be a tool for restoration. If he had no intent to counsel, to listen to both sides and offer to help, I'd say he cares more about being boss than about shepherding. This smacks of pride, not true leadership. It could potentially run the young lady away from God, not closer to him.The next morning your pastor calls up. He's not interested in mediating, offering his help, being available if the needs arises..., but rather, informs you that if you don't throw yourself at the Mercy Seat of Christ next Sunday morning you're going to be excommunicated from the First Self-Righteous Church you've been attending for the last several years.
The issue here, the main issue of this thread is someone butting into the personal lives of a family who otherwise should have stood by patiently to see if things would work themselves out. It's that simple.
HAMel, I've seen this type of thing before and it usually ends terribly. The child is labeled "rebellious" and flees home and Christianity, or they submissively obey and wind up living a depressed life in order to please the spiritual dictators. If it were me, I'd advise the DAD to go talk to the pastor and ask him to either help or butt out.
Christian schools can make up whatever rules they want and decide who to keep and who to kick out--but if there is no provision for restoration, they are doing their people a great disservice.
No Matt Wade..., you're the one that's not getting it! My wife works for this man and speaks daily with his wife. The daughter's brother is dating my Grand Daughter..., so I suppose that yes, we are picking it all up second had
So you do have an interest in this tangled web. Let me ask, why do you feel the need to air another family's- not yours- dirty laundry? Isn't that what gossip basically is- spreading unflattering stories about others?
You asked for others' opinions in your original post. Mine is that you should mind your own business and leave it.
Many "Christian" schools do more harm than good, in my opinion. That includes some "Christian" colleges also.
Many "public" schools do more harm than good, in my opinion. That includes some "public" colleges also.
Gee...that's neat how you can apply statement like that to just about anything.
So all you have is gossip? Based on the gossip you've presented, I would say that the daughter made a poor choice and now has to deal with the consequences of that poor choice.
Matt Wade, for sure I'm not interested in your holier-than-thouness. You are aware of that, no?
So you do have an interest in this tangled web. Let me ask, why do you feel the need to air another family's- not yours- dirty laundry? Isn't that what gossip basically is- spreading unflattering stories about others?
You asked for others' opinions in your original post. Mine is that you should mind your own business and leave it.
As for you Arbo, I consider you right up there on the same plain as Matt Wade. If you wasn't so quick to judge another I think you could adequately determine that I really wasn't "airing another families dirty laundry", now was I?
Through all of this neither of you have not once commented on the damage done to this student nor seem to care one way or the other except to point the finger at her for making bad decisions.
The both of you deliberately overlook the Head Master in this matter. Are you trying to say that any preacher has the right to just butt right into any family and start laying the law down? What if it happened to you?
Both of you must be Independent Baptist having earned an Awana Badge in Judgeship. Needless to say, it wouldn't bother me if either of you ever again responded to anything I posted on this forum. Go bug someone who is earnestly seeking your input as I did not specifically ask for yours.
Matt Wade, for sure I'm not interested in your holier-than-thouness. You are aware of that, no?
So you do have an interest in this tangled web. Let me ask, why do you feel the need to air another family's- not yours- dirty laundry? Isn't that what gossip basically is- spreading unflattering stories about others?
You asked for others' opinions in your original post. Mine is that you should mind your own business and leave it.
As for you Arbo, I consider you right up there on the same plain as Matt Wade. If you wasn't so quick to judge another I think you could adequately determine that I really wasn't "airing another families dirty laundry", now was I?
Through all of this neither of you have not once commented on the damage done to this student nor seem to care one way or the other except to point the finger at her for making bad decisions.
The both of you deliberately overlook the Head Master in this matter. Are you trying to say that any preacher has the right to just butt right into any family and start laying the law down? What if it happened to you?
Both of you must be Independent Baptist having earned an Awana Badge in Judgeship. Needless to say, it wouldn't bother me if either of you ever again responded to anything I posted on this forum. Go bug someone who is earnestly seeking your input as I did not specifically ask for yours.
I get what you're saying. The pastor's job is to SHEPHERD his sheep, not dictate and control them like puppets. Correction should be a tool for restoration. If he had no intent to counsel, to listen to both sides and offer to help, I'd say he cares more about being boss than about shepherding. This smacks of pride, not true leadership. It could potentially run the young lady away from God, not closer to him.
HAMel, I've seen this type of thing before and it usually ends terribly. The child is labeled "rebellious" and flees home and Christianity, or they submissively obey and wind up living a depressed life in order to please the spiritual dictators. If it were me, I'd advise the DAD to go talk to the pastor and ask him to either help or butt out.
Christian schools can make up whatever rules they want and decide who to keep and who to kick out--but if there is no provision for restoration, they are doing their people a great disservice.
abcgrad94, thank you. I appreciate you being able to see the down side of this situation. You're a mature Christian for sure.
HAMel, I've seen this type of thing before and it usually ends terribly. The child is labeled "rebellious" and flees home and Christianity, or they submissively obey and wind up living a depressed life in order to please the spiritual dictators. If it were me, I'd advise the DAD to go talk to the pastor and ask him to either help or butt out.
Christian schools can make up whatever rules they want and decide who to keep and who to kick out--but if there is no provision for restoration, they are doing their people a great disservice.
abcgrad94, thank you. I appreciate you being able to see the down side of this situation. You're a mature Christian for sure.
The both of you deliberately overlook the Head Master in this matter. Are you trying to say that any preacher has the right to just butt right into any family and start laying the law down? What if it happened to you?
Again, do you know that the father didn't go to the headmaster and ask him to intervene?
We simply don't know all the facts in the case.
What if it happened to me? If I had a rebellious daughter that left home, I'd stop paying her tuition. I wouldn't have to wait for the headmaster to do anything.
Many "public" schools do more harm than good, in my opinion. That includes some "public" colleges also.
Gee...that's neat how you can apply statement like that to just about anything.
Gee... it's sad how many Christians will bury their heads in the sand rather face the facts that not everything labeled "Christian", is. You may twist that statement also, to help salve your conscience.
So you do have an interest in this tangled web. Let me ask, why do you feel the need to air another family's- not yours- dirty laundry? Isn't that what gossip basically is- spreading unflattering stories about others?
You asked for others' opinions in your original post. Mine is that you should mind your own business and leave it.
As for you Arbo, I consider you right up there on the same plain as Matt Wade. If you wasn't so quick to judge another I think you could adequately determine that I really wasn't "airing another families dirty laundry", now was I?
Through all of this neither of you have not once commented on the damage done to this student nor seem to care one way or the other except to point the finger at her for making bad decisions.
The both of you deliberately overlook the Head Master in this matter. Are you trying to say that any preacher has the right to just butt right into any family and start laying the law down? What if it happened to you?
Both of you must be Independent Baptist having earned an Awana Badge in Judgeship. Needless to say, it wouldn't bother me if either of you ever again responded to anything I posted on this forum. Go bug someone who is earnestly seeking your input as I did not specifically ask for yours.
I still fail to understand why this family's business is yours. Do all the participants know that you have made it public?
The only opinion you are looking for is one that will reinforce your condemnation of an individual who played a role (the extent of which is not fully known here) in a drama that you are evidently upset about. It is unreasonable of you to expect others to make a snap judgement based on emotion without the full story the same way you have in this case.
You complain about gossips; yet you overlook the fact that by posting your version of the story, which you admit that you came by it secondhand, you are engaging in exactly the same activity.
As far as your accusation that Matt Wade and I are being judgmental toward you, I know angry people can say stupid things. I'll leave it at that.
For me, there is too much information missing to make a judgment about this subject.
For example: Do we know for sure that the father didn't call the headmaster and make the request to have his daughter expelled?
Do we know what the school's requirements about living arrangements are?
I don't recall if the age of the girl was given, just that she was 2 months away from graduating; is she legally of age to live on her own?
Does the headmaster have a reputation or history of such actions towards more than just this student? Or was this an atypical event?
So far what I see are reactions based on emotion. Just not enough information to make a logical judgment.
For example: Do we know for sure that the father didn't call the headmaster and make the request to have his daughter expelled?
Do we know what the school's requirements about living arrangements are?
I don't recall if the age of the girl was given, just that she was 2 months away from graduating; is she legally of age to live on her own?
Does the headmaster have a reputation or history of such actions towards more than just this student? Or was this an atypical event?
So far what I see are reactions based on emotion. Just not enough information to make a logical judgment.
...yet you overlook the fact that by posting your version of the story, which you admit that you came by it secondhand, you are engaging in exactly the same activity.
According to your rationale, anything offered up on the nightly news would be but gossip. I really don't think you two really want me to post this families name and phone number..., or do you? Some avenue for you two to verify my story?
...ain't gonna happen.
According to your rationale, anything offered up on the nightly news would be but gossip. I really don't think you two really want me to post this families name and phone number..., or do you? Some avenue for you two to verify my story?
...ain't gonna happen.
...yet you overlook the fact that by posting your version of the story, which you admit that you came by it secondhand, you are engaging in exactly the same activity.
According to your rationale, anything offered up on the nightly news would be but gossip. I really don't think you two really want me to post this families name and phone number..., or do you? Some avenue for you two to verify my story?
...ain't gonna happen.
Why in the world would I want you to post personal information about this family?
Yes, much of what's on the nightly news is gossip. Much of what's on there also attempts to get both sides of the story.
You seem to completely ignore the question that I and at least two others have asked. Do you know for sure that the father didn't ask the headmaster to get involved?
Okay, I'm going to say it one more time and then I'm vacating the thread. It all becomes very old very quickly.
A Head Master expelled a Student two months from graduating High School. Knowing the circumstances as I do..., this wasn't fair.
And again I ask, are you aware of all the circumstances surrounding the headmaster's decision? Was he contacted by the father? Was he simply following a predetermined protocol? Did he give the daughter a chance to move back home and put away her rebellion?
You are right on one thing, this thread is becoming old very quickly. You keep saying the same exact thing and refuse to address any questions people have. If you simply wanted to rant about something and didn't expect people to attempt to interact with you, then you should start a blog and turn off comments.
Okay, I'm going to say it one more time and then I'm vacating the thread. It all becomes very old very quickly.
A Head Master expelled a Student two months from graduating High School. Knowing the circumstances as I do..., this wasn't fair.
Nor was grace exhibited by those who should have shown it the most- the father and the headmaster. Both come across as class A blowhards. Dealt with plenty of them in my time and they will get their rewards.
Nor was grace exhibited by those who should have shown it the most- the father and the headmaster. Both come across as class A blowhards. Dealt with plenty of them in my time and they will get their rewards.
You get this information that they are "class A blowhards" based upon the scant information presented here? That's impressive!
So is any father that has rules in his house, and then sticks to those rules, a "class A blowhard"? Or is it only fathers that stick to the rules and then their children rebel and leave the house?
Should the father relax the house rules simply because the daughter throws a temper tantrum?
That is all that needs to be said in this thread.I agree. I think there's more to it than we know.
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