David Mark
New Member
I was 19 when I realized and believed Jesus died to save me. I am 42 now.
At 19, I began to only read the bible. I had no wise human teacher, so I was sort of on my own. I took complex scriptures for face value. I knew very little about “context” or history. I was like a sponge.
Then, through some disappointments and trials, I began to develop some tiny little philosophies of my own. I think this sort of led me off into the wilderness. In the wilderness I began to sin consistently. I was rarely if ever honest to God about my sin. I just figured it was all forgiven and he did not need to hear from me.
Then when my life disgusted even myself, I began to reexamine my beliefs. With a new intensity I approached the complex scriptures again. They were tough on me. The light began to burn me and I cried out to the Lord.
In the Light I realized that there was much doctrinal error in my life. Not the death, burial, resurrection and ascension of the Lord nor the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. These were firm. It was the “meat” that was sour.
While hiding under the wing of God and meditating on the shed blood of the Savior: Enter in some of Mr. Calvin’s thoughts (among other renown’s). I was willing to allow Mr. Calvin’s teaching to enter into my heart as I asked God earnestly for wisdom and safety. I did feel safe there. This was a new practice for me. That new thing was: trusting God for wisdom, protection, and only Him and throwing away my vain little philosophies and private interpretations of scripture.
As I allowed (some) of Mr. Calvin’s thoughts to become my thoughts, I examined closely whether this brought me any closer to keeping the dearest commandment of Love thy neighbor as thyself. That was the going to be my measuring tool.
If it lead me away from Love thy neighbor, I would forsake the teaching. If it did not interfere with the commandment or if it enabled me to do the commandment, I would continue to allow Mr. Calvin’s thoughts to affect me.
So far so good. But I remain very careful.
One very big concern I had at the beginning was whether I would begin to look at others as “lost causes” and not worthy of my attention. Predestination takes me right to the edge of that but doesn’t allow me the luxury of knowing whom the elect are. It’s not my place to know who the unregenerate elect are. Therefore Love thy neighbor is still fully in effect. However, what predestination does do in my heart is give me peace. That peace is the idea that God is in complete control and will not fail at anything he sets out to do. It tells me that no man can interfere with the Will of God. It leads me to the idea that if I desire to increase the Kingdom or even just help the Kingdom, it is a privilege or even a gift. My failure or apathy at any point will not inhibit God’s will in another person’s life. He is in control of every aspect of my life, and he knows how to save the lost. I like to plant seeds and water, but I rest in the fact that it is God that giveth the increase. Many of Mr. Calvin’s thoughts have helped me keep the commandment and focus on the Kingdom of God. I do it better and with more strength than at any point during my walk of faith.
My fear of losing interest in ministry did not materialize. On the contrary, I have renewed strength and desire. I am more forgiving to those whom I perceive might be in error. I am much quicker to forgive those who treat me poorly. I am indeed slower to speak and I listen more. It’s not easy, but these are just some of the things that have grown in my heart as I begin to study the scriptures in context more and more.
If anything, I am promoting asking God for wisdom and protection against error. I also heavily promote the commandment to Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Thank you,
Dave
At 19, I began to only read the bible. I had no wise human teacher, so I was sort of on my own. I took complex scriptures for face value. I knew very little about “context” or history. I was like a sponge.
Then, through some disappointments and trials, I began to develop some tiny little philosophies of my own. I think this sort of led me off into the wilderness. In the wilderness I began to sin consistently. I was rarely if ever honest to God about my sin. I just figured it was all forgiven and he did not need to hear from me.
Then when my life disgusted even myself, I began to reexamine my beliefs. With a new intensity I approached the complex scriptures again. They were tough on me. The light began to burn me and I cried out to the Lord.
In the Light I realized that there was much doctrinal error in my life. Not the death, burial, resurrection and ascension of the Lord nor the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. These were firm. It was the “meat” that was sour.
While hiding under the wing of God and meditating on the shed blood of the Savior: Enter in some of Mr. Calvin’s thoughts (among other renown’s). I was willing to allow Mr. Calvin’s teaching to enter into my heart as I asked God earnestly for wisdom and safety. I did feel safe there. This was a new practice for me. That new thing was: trusting God for wisdom, protection, and only Him and throwing away my vain little philosophies and private interpretations of scripture.
As I allowed (some) of Mr. Calvin’s thoughts to become my thoughts, I examined closely whether this brought me any closer to keeping the dearest commandment of Love thy neighbor as thyself. That was the going to be my measuring tool.
If it lead me away from Love thy neighbor, I would forsake the teaching. If it did not interfere with the commandment or if it enabled me to do the commandment, I would continue to allow Mr. Calvin’s thoughts to affect me.
So far so good. But I remain very careful.
One very big concern I had at the beginning was whether I would begin to look at others as “lost causes” and not worthy of my attention. Predestination takes me right to the edge of that but doesn’t allow me the luxury of knowing whom the elect are. It’s not my place to know who the unregenerate elect are. Therefore Love thy neighbor is still fully in effect. However, what predestination does do in my heart is give me peace. That peace is the idea that God is in complete control and will not fail at anything he sets out to do. It tells me that no man can interfere with the Will of God. It leads me to the idea that if I desire to increase the Kingdom or even just help the Kingdom, it is a privilege or even a gift. My failure or apathy at any point will not inhibit God’s will in another person’s life. He is in control of every aspect of my life, and he knows how to save the lost. I like to plant seeds and water, but I rest in the fact that it is God that giveth the increase. Many of Mr. Calvin’s thoughts have helped me keep the commandment and focus on the Kingdom of God. I do it better and with more strength than at any point during my walk of faith.
My fear of losing interest in ministry did not materialize. On the contrary, I have renewed strength and desire. I am more forgiving to those whom I perceive might be in error. I am much quicker to forgive those who treat me poorly. I am indeed slower to speak and I listen more. It’s not easy, but these are just some of the things that have grown in my heart as I begin to study the scriptures in context more and more.
If anything, I am promoting asking God for wisdom and protection against error. I also heavily promote the commandment to Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Thank you,
Dave