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La Marseillaise
- Thread starter Jude
- Start date
I'll quit when M. Chirac stops threatening the Rumanians and Bulgarians. The Eastern and Central Europeans support for many various and sundry good reasons Washington on the Iraq issue. M. Chirac has the support of the Germans and the Belgians. Where does he think Sofia and Bucharest are? Somewhere in Franco-phone Africa where he can send in the Foriegn Legion to sort things out?
[ February 19, 2003, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: The Squire ]
[ February 19, 2003, 03:34 PM: Message edited by: The Squire ]
Found on another board:
French Military History Lesson:
- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
- Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War - Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodlines.
- World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?" but rather "How long until France collapses?"
French Military History Lesson:
- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.
- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."
- Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War - Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodlines.
- World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?" but rather "How long until France collapses?"
daydreamer
New Member
I agree with Brian - this is completely inappropriate and disgraceful.
The Germans, I can understand and if you will notice nobody here is advocating boycotting BMW, Daimler/Chrysler, VW, or Lowenbrau.
However, with the French Foriegn Legion in the Ivory Coast and other former French colonies. The French calls for non-intervention ring hollow. So, derision follows. But, when M. Chirac stops trying to be a second General De Gaulle, then we will stop sending spitwads their way. (And by the by, I think L'General {who should be considered a Marshal of France, but that's another thread} would be thinking of how to keep France in the lead of any military operation.)
[ February 19, 2003, 05:54 PM: Message edited by: The Squire ]
However, with the French Foriegn Legion in the Ivory Coast and other former French colonies. The French calls for non-intervention ring hollow. So, derision follows. But, when M. Chirac stops trying to be a second General De Gaulle, then we will stop sending spitwads their way. (And by the by, I think L'General {who should be considered a Marshal of France, but that's another thread} would be thinking of how to keep France in the lead of any military operation.)
[ February 19, 2003, 05:54 PM: Message edited by: The Squire ]
Squire,
I have no problem with people disagreeing with the actions of another country's government, and discussing it in a civil manner as you have. However, I am against making derogatory jokes about any group of people, using bigotted terms, mocking, and being generally inflammatory - *especially* knowing others are insulted by such comments, and *especially* on a Christian forum. it is rude, immature, and ugly. Not only are some here doing that, but they seem to also be taking *pride* in being offensive! I don't understand this.
Brian
I have no problem with people disagreeing with the actions of another country's government, and discussing it in a civil manner as you have. However, I am against making derogatory jokes about any group of people, using bigotted terms, mocking, and being generally inflammatory - *especially* knowing others are insulted by such comments, and *especially* on a Christian forum. it is rude, immature, and ugly. Not only are some here doing that, but they seem to also be taking *pride* in being offensive! I don't understand this.
Brian
This is a truism I have observed about Americans. When something happens that makes them so angry they could spit, Americans figure your options as:</font>
- fight</font>
- cry</font>
- or make a joke of it (e.g. Mel Brooks reasons for creating Springtime for Hitler for The Producers)</font>
Interesting. Those are the same three options my preschooler kids choose from when they don't get along with someone: fight them, whine about them, or belittle them. We try to get them to act more mature, and show them other options.
You're saying it's OK to be offensive when you can't figure out how else to respond?
You're saying it's OK to be offensive when you can't figure out how else to respond?
Yes. It would include anyone, including African-Americans, native Indians, Canadians, Americans, Mexicans, the British, the French, the Chinese, the Japanese, the Korean, the Iraqi, the Pakistani, people on welfare, millionaires, short people, tall people, Christians, Muslims, men, women, the blind, the deaf, the young, the old, etc.
President Bush and the french ambassador to the U.N. were debating the Iraqi crisis. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. He further explained that should that happen, any future likely conflict with the madman could result in a bloodbath. The French ambassador, although, did not understand. It seems there is no word for "bath" in French.
I like jokes. I can dish it out and I can take it. I think some people are too sensitive. However, be that as it may, it is not up to me to say to them that they shouldn't feel that way and go ahead and hurt them. I will not make jokes (on purpose) that I know will hurt someone, even if I am being reasonable and the other person isn't. That seems to be the Christian way.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
1, but the light bulb has to reeeaalllly want to change.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
1, but the light bulb has to reeeaalllly want to change.
No, but The Squire has hit the nail on the head. That's the way most Americans are. And this is something that people in other countries can't seem to understand about us.
Americans have a sick sense of humor. We just do. We make fun of everything and everybody, even ourselves. Ourselves most of all.
For instance, have you ever heard all the sick Natalie Wood jokes? Or blonde jokes? Or late night TV jokes about our Presidents? All of them?
What would you have us do, FIGHT the French?
Bomb them? Kick them? What?PS: Boycotts really are going on. Heard wine prices are lowest they've been in 10 years.
No more French Vanilla coffee for me.
I've defended the French on other threads, but "Dien Bien Flu" really is funny.
Why have prices declined for the French product of the grape? Because of the surplus of American whine, of course.
Gina, I would have posted earlier, but I've been busy washing my hands for the past six hours ...
Why have prices declined for the French product of the grape? Because of the surplus of American whine, of course.
Gina, I would have posted earlier, but I've been busy washing my hands for the past six hours ...