Legalism causes division

[ReformedBaptist]

Hey brother,

I will tell you what worked for me.

Back before I was fat and hairy, there were a number of young women who showed some interest in me. Personally, my goal was to go to the mission field and die a martyr, but God had other plans.

So, I gave it into the hands of the Lord and left it entirely up to him. When the ladies came around all I did was talk about Jesus, the GOspel, theology, et. This weeded out 99.9999999% of them right off the bat.

But then there was this one gal, who didn' go away no matter how much I preached. Long story short, I married that one...and now its 15 years later and seven children greater...

I did come to find out later on though, that she doesn't remember a single thing I said to her. All that long preaching on the phone into the wee hours in the morning...she just wanted to hear the sound of my voice. :laugh:

What a woman!!!

 

[sag38]

I was thirty before I was married and it was my own fault. I let women chase me and some caught me but it never came to point of marriage. I had trouble being up front with them about who I was, what I wanted, and where I was headed in life. I was afraid of rejection and another failed relationship. I wasted a lot of time, money, and emotional turmoil. When I finally grew up and had the guts to tell a woman up front what I was looking for and what I wanted almost from the beginning of the relationship....well we celebrated fifteen years just a couple of weeks ago. If you are chasing a woman tell her and show her what you want up front. Be honest and if she's interested she will let you know pretty quickly. In the process, make sure you gain a pretty good understanding of what she is searching for in a mate. Ask her and if she's someone worth going after you will see that she will be up front and honest. That way there are no games, less misunderstandings, and if from the start you see that you are not compatible, then you won't waste each others time.

 

[glfredrick]

Pastor John MacArthur in his book The Jesus You Cant Ignore says this about the Fundamentalist movement. They are indeed close to the religion of the scribes and Pharisees. But John never says that IFB are preaching another gospel.

I don't think that they are preaching another gospel... I just think that all the externals TO the gospel are an issue that has gravitated to the same sort of Pharisaical practice of the Jews of Jerusalem, who also had the Word of God in hand from which to work with an authentic message from God for His people.

One way that I like to think about this sort of stuff is, "Are we preaching LIFE or are we preaching death." It is possible to preach both using the same word.

Which is it that Jesus is for? (John 3: 16-20 holds the answer!)

About the woman issue?

God gave me a vision/dream one night when I was around 12. I was not walking closely with Him at the time, and though a church-goer (when I had to) I was also not saved. That vision has never left my mind! I saw, and fell deeply in love with, a short blond girl with certain characteristics. I dated just about every short blond under the sun looking for that dream love but never found her. Until one day, that is... I didn't even know it.

I hustled her little sister (she lied about her age) at the local carnival and rode my bike to her house one day (I was 15). There, I met her SISTER, now my bride for almost 34 years! I loved her fully and completely from the moment I "saw" her. We rode the bus together for a year and I even tossed her shoes out the bus window one night 'cause she was a smarty-mouthed girl, but I never "saw" her. When I "saw" her, I was lost in love. I knew she was the girl I would marry and I worked to that end.

Our first official date was homecoming. She was 14, I had turned 16. I gave her a diamond for her 16th birthday, her family (and mine!) was shocked. We went through a rough time for about 6 months and we parted company, but I was drawn back to her and one night while taking her home from work (I got her a job as a friend) we ended up stuck in a major snow storm and spent the night in the car. We were back together, this time forever!

We were married the fall after she graduated high school. Kathy was 18, I was just 20. Four years later, we had our first kiddo. No jobs, no insurance, living off the land (literally, no gas, no electric, and we hunted/gathered to eat!) and 2 years later our second son, who died during childbirth, again no job, no insurance, living off the land. A time of depression, and anger at God that caused us to turn atheist eventually (though we were still not saved anyway). Found a job, moved, built a house, had our third son (he will be married this August to his life-long sweetheart! we raised her in our own home while doing home-based daycare for 8 years) and life started to improve. Then came God! I was saved, and 2 years later my bride was saved. That saved not only our souls, but our marriage and our lives!

I'm not sure why God has been so good to me. I certainly never did the first thing to attract Him or earn His attention, but He has been SO GOOD. Apart from Jesus, my beautiful bride has been the single best gift I've ever been given, and I love her more than words, deeds, thoughts, or actions can express. She returns that love in ways that most men may never know, and a year or so ago, she told me that if given the chance, she preferred to spend the entire eternity together with me. That sort of love can't be bought or paid for. It is of God, and it is supernatural in scope. I am most blessed of all men!

How to find a woman like that? Just pick one, marry her, and LOVE her like Christ would love her if He were the one who married her.

 

[Arbo]

You aren't going to find a perfect match because people aren't perfect. You will find a suitable match.

...the woman should not be doing the pursuing.

Haven't you heard the old adage that "a man will chase a woman until SHE catches him"? There's some truth in that brother. :laugh:

Wifey pursued me, and I found her perfectly suitable.:smilewinkgrin:

 

[go2church]

I think it's funny, odd, weird, whatever, that someone caught up in the fundamentalist Way of the Master is calling out someone as being TOO fundamentalist! Wow, that gal must really be something else!

Really it's only a small step from Comfortism to where this gal is, why not take the leap? What could be the harm? She is going to wait on you hand and foot cause you're a man after all, be about birthing babies, won't spend much on clothes or makeup and would never be caught at home watching stories and eating bon-bons. The more I think about it, I may have made a mistake finding a free-thinking independent woman with opinions and backbone. Man if only Ron or Kirk had stopped me on the street and jammed a banana in my face and talked about God some twenty years ago I too could have had a servant wife.

 

[glfredrick]

I think it's funny, odd, weird, whatever, that someone caught up in the fundamentalist Way of the Master is calling out someone as being TOO fundamentalist! Wow, that gal must really be something else!

Really it's only a small step from Comfortism to where this gal is, why not take the leap? What could be the harm? She is going to wait on you hand and foot cause you're a man after all, be about birthing babies, won't spend much on clothes or makeup and would never be caught at home watching stories and eating bon-bons. The more I think about it, I may have made a mistake finding a free-thinking independent woman with opinions and backbone. Man if only Ron or Kirk had stopped me on the street and jammed a banana in my face and talked about God some twenty years ago I too could have had a servant wife.

But, does she have to wear that funny little bonnet, a long prairie-style dress, white bobby socks, and tennies? :laugh:

 

[go2church]

But, does she have to wear that funny little bonnet, a long prairie-style dress, white bobby socks, and tennies?


Or as I like to call it the uniform.

 

[Salty]

Are there any in Greenville, SC?

Here is the link for the GARBC

also, many SBC churches are very conservative

 

[evangelist6589]

I don't think you ought to stay tucked into your house. I am just saying that you may be pressing too hard to find a mate. Let God bring her to you as you serve Him.

Has your way been working for you?

Please spell it out to me.

Define your terms and I will define mine. One biblical book by David Jeremiah he says to defeat loneliness I need to do the following.

1) Memorize scripture
2) Pray and seek God
3) Get involved in a healthy church with active ministry activities and fellowship groups.

Therefore in his view (and mine) one that is single will need to attend a larger church with singles activities and ministry opportunities. One that is not following the Biblical advice given by Jeremiah in his book will keep going to that dinky church with no ministry activities, and no real ways for a single person to serve and connect. Sure there are exceptions to the rule, but this is the norm for single people, and they have a desire to connect.

Most tiny churches in my area have very very very few single people attending. I have seen a pattern and comment on it. I have been to far too many tiny churches and just see so few single people. This is because 99% of sing;e people desire fellowship and to connect. If they cant find this at their parents church, they move on to other churches with connection groups, and ministry opportunities.

 

[evangelist6589]

That is true; however what he said about her sounds just like some people I know. And that's exactly the way they are - they think that if you talk to a Methodist too long you'll become one. The only acceptable conversation for these people always begins with "If you were to die tonight", and ends with, "Now say this prayer to be saved". Anything else leads to evil. Now I realize that doesn't describe most fundamentalists, but it's a fair description of the type of Hyles-Gray-Chappell fundamentalist the OP complains about.

I often use that style, but I also often use the Way of the Master. I mix in my styles for balance. I also often use the styles of Mark Cahill and his GREAT EVANGELISM BOOK called One thing you Cant do in Heaven.

 

[evangelist6589]

Hey brother,

I will tell you what worked for me.

Back before I was fat and hairy, there were a number of young women who showed some interest in me. Personally, my goal was to go to the mission field and die a martyr, but God had other plans.

So, I gave it into the hands of the Lord and left it entirely up to him. When the ladies came around all I did was talk about Jesus, the GOspel, theology, et. This weeded out 99.9999999% of them right off the bat.

But then there was this one gal, who didn' go away no matter how much I preached. Long story short, I married that one...and now its 15 years later and seven children greater...

I did come to find out later on though, that she doesn't remember a single thing I said to her. All that long preaching on the phone into the wee hours in the morning...she just wanted to hear the sound of my voice. :laugh:

What a woman!!!

Fat and hairy? I have lost much weight, and do preach often. But this past weekend I tried to relax a little and intract with women.

 

[Tom Bryant]

I don't know that we are saying anything different. Go to whatever church God leads you to. It may be a big church, but it may also be in a smaller church.

What I am saying is that you might be trying too hard. God bless you in your search.

 

[HAMel]

Our Pastor spoke on the legalism as referenced in Mark 2 this morning. Jesus is all about freedom..., not burden. Jesus convicts..., men and their religion will even go to the extreme of embarrassing in an attempt to force compliance to their opinions of what God says.

I'd rather be free.

 

[evangelist6589]

I don't know that we are saying anything different. Go to whatever church God leads you to. It may be a big church, but it may also be in a smaller church.

What I am saying is that you might be trying too hard. God bless you in your search.

You need to define things better. How does one try too hard? What would be the definition of that? In my vew if I were trying to hard I would be obsessing over the issue, would be paying lots of money to dating sites, social clubs, books, hair styles, etc.. What I am doing is this.

1) Going to a good church
2) Taking care of myself
3) Speaking with people
4) Using my membership on a dating site (but only one site)

I do not think I am trying to hard. I think I am being normal. If I were to act like someone who locks themselves in their house, then I would not care at all about the issue and would not care about my clothes, my weight, my smell, my social skills, etc..