Greetings!
My first post here and of all things it could be considered to be a flaming topic!
Regarding conscience, it is both the servant and master of an individual, to each person their own. To have a conscience about something is for me to obey but not enforce it on another. Can conscience be trusted to always lead one 'right'? No, because it is the gate keeper of the heart and is subject to our understanding of the Word and our willingness to follow or overrule it with our desires; the law becomes our schoolmaster leading into awareness of our deprivity and need for salvation in Jesus Christ. As I acknowledge my need and my dependance on Him, He freely distributes of the Holy Spirit to bring me to the awareness (consciouness) of His direction in my life both to will and to do: If I refuse to submit, then not only have I dethroned the leadership of Christ Jesus, but I have alowed the searing of my conscience which also hardens my heart against submission to His authority, and the reproof of others who might instruct me.
Now, as pertaining to the silence in the mixed congregation of men and women. We are instructed that all things should be done decently and in order. We are also instructed by Jesus own words to love one another, even as He loves us. ICor13 explains that love most completely. Some things are not worth the disputings, the confusion and division in the body of Christ, particularly when other issues are of greater importance and are not being attended to: particularly the foundations of faith.
Regarding Paul's instruction, I see no contradiction: The wife submits to her husband's authority......he bears the burden of making the wrong or right decisions which affect the provisions and safety of the family, and its participation in the body of Christ. If he (husband) loves his wife as himself and as Christ loves the Church, he will always consider the weight of her opinion and give respect to it, though he choose a different option.
Can a wife in subjection to her husband, on his authority be permitted to speak in the church or to teach? Can the church, itself, as a body, bestow authority (recognition or office) upon one believer as good as another, or is it always first subject to consideration of gender before the spiritual gifts? Are we not all joint heirs with Christ?
You may think me a 'feminist', but quite the contrary, I'm a lady who is widowed. Now, therefore, who is in authority over me if not Christ? And in Christ I have liberty. Does that mean I should upsurp a man's authority? Personally, I would choose not: But, perchance, a void occurred within the local body and no man came forward to accept the responsibility, but God gave me the gifts and calling to fill the void (perhaps temporarilly) , would I be remiss in doing so? Does not 'annointing' take place with confirmation and witnesses? And can one lead, even as a servant to Jesus Christ, if there is no-one following?
I do not see a contridiction in the Pauline epistles: They both are two sides of the same coin: leadership, order, and God's will. If a man wont lead, it doesn't mean God didn't call a man to leadership: If a man wont lead, and a woman is willing to fill the void, is it loving of the body of Christ to judge a particular person or circumstance without conscience to remedy the situation?
I thank God that he has not called me to shepherd a flock, or take responsibility of leadership over others. I would not consider a husband loves me who did not have consideration for my opinion: Submission means he makes the choices and carries the burden of responsibility for the consequences: Respect for him means I honor his choices, talk to him only about my disappointments, and encourage (and bring focus or 'glory') to him in what he does well, and keep silent before others of those things which I might question. We then are servants to each other. Twice Abraham listened to Sarah: Once it was to error, as it broke the challenge of faith that Sarah would deliver the promised son: The second occurrence he was personally directed by God to listen to Sarah and do accordingly to what she said. Others here have mentioned the leadership of women in the OT. Also the NT. If we follow our LORD, he leads us to peace with him and with each other.
The Word is simple to understand for people who are willing to listen.