Mailman or mailperson

[Salty]

ADVICE
Opinion Columnist
Ask Amy:
Something is bothering me that I just can’t shake, and I’d welcome your opinion.
My husband and I have three young grandchildren who live across the country. We are seldom able to visit in person, so we use FaceTime to stay in touch.
Yesterday while chatting with the kids (all younger than 10), I told them how much I appreciated their Christmas thank-you notes and I mentioned that “the mailman” had just delivered them.

Yesterday while chatting with the kids (all younger than 10), I told them how much I appreciated their Christmas thank-you notes and I mentioned that “the mailman” had just delivered them.

Off-camera, I heard my daughter-in-law say: “mailperson.”
I’m irritated that she corrected me in front of the kids

It’s not as if I had used a derogatory term – I would never do that!

My intention was simply to thank the kids for their notes, not to become an example of how ignorant grandparents can be.

Am I overreacting? – Just Wondering

So if you were Grandma- what would you say to your daughter-in-law - if anything

and Amy answered:

Dear Wondering: I have to laugh (a little bit) because for many readers, the headline here will be: Three Children Reported to Have Written Thank You Notes. Story at 11!

So – this mom has done a good thing in teaching your grandchildren to express their appreciation in this way.

And it seems that maybe she can’t stop teaching, although her correction of mailman to “mailperson” prompted another chuckle (from me), because I do believe that the correct and gender-free description of the person doing this job is either “postal worker” or “letter carrier.”

(And you can understand why this is: Mailperson, when spoken, sounds like “male person,” which sort of defeats the purpose.)

I can understand why this failed correction rankled you, but I hope you will shake it off as the actions of an active and engaged mom who perhaps was over-momming (oops, overparenting) in the moment.

 

[just-want-peace]

If this weren’t so PC it would be funny!!
I use the term mail man & mail lady simply cause, well, both come to my house.

 

[Reynolds]

I call them "mail carry" cause that is what Granny called them when I was a kid.

 

[Bible Thumpin n Gun Totin]

We just call him Chuck and he's been delivering to our community for 30 years. If Chuck isn't in then it's MISS Sandy (she is married, but it's a Southern thing) who will deliver on the route. Both of them have free leave in most of our homes here and they leave packages on our tables, or in our parked cars if'n it's raining and we locked the door.

As for the position itself we call them "Carriers" who run a "Rural Route", but I could easily be persuaded to say "Mailman" just to annoy PC people .

 

[agedman]

I don't care as long as I get my mail and not what belongs to someone else.

 

[Alcott]

Mail Carrier is what I would say. But I wouldn't correct anyone for using a term they have long been accustomed to.

 

[Salty]

I still use the term Mailman, fireman, (fill-in the blank)-man

I once asked a female - if I offered you a job as a saleswomen for 10% commission
or you could be a salesman for 20% commission - which one would you take - she said the salesman. So I guess the title is not that important !

 

[Scarlett O.]

Yes, the grandmother overreacted. If she is still stewing days later - enough to write a letter to Dear Abby or Amy or whoever, then she's got a bigger problem than mailman or mail lady or mailperson.

And I think she touched on it in her letter. She said that she didn't like being "corrected" in front of her grandchildren. I don't see the correction. I don't see the grandchildren even caring or listening or thinking ill of their grandmother.

THAT'S her issue, not what label you give a man or woman who carries the mail.

I don't have a problem with what name you call letter carriers or people in sales or whoever. Say man, woman, or person - I could so not care less.

I don't know why the PC crowd gets their knickers in a knot nor do I understand why the conservative crowd gets their feathers ruffled. Both sides call themselves the ones with the enlightment and knowledge and wisdom.

I think both sides should just let it go. It's ridiculous.

I'm the chairman of a particular Board in my community. I used the word chairMAN and don't think a think about it. Neither does anyone else.

I've served as chairman of a committee for another civic group. They call me madam chairwoman or chairperson. I don't think a thing about it.

I don't know why it bothers people either way.

 

[canadyjd]

ADVICE
Opinion Columnist
Ask Amy:
Something is bothering me that I just can’t shake, and I’d welcome your opinion.
My husband and I have three young grandchildren who live across the country. We are seldom able to visit in person, so we use FaceTime to stay in touch.
Yesterday while chatting with the kids (all younger than 10), I told them how much I appreciated their Christmas thank-you notes and I mentioned that “the mailman” had just delivered them.

Yesterday while chatting with the kids (all younger than 10), I told them how much I appreciated their Christmas thank-you notes and I mentioned that “the mailman” had just delivered them.

Off-camera, I heard my daughter-in-law say: “mailperson.”
I’m irritated that she corrected me in front of the kids

It’s not as if I had used a derogatory term – I would never do that!

My intention was simply to thank the kids for their notes, not to become an example of how ignorant grandparents can be.

Am I overreacting? – Just Wondering

So if you were Grandma- what would you say to your daughter-in-law - if anything

and Amy answered:

Dear Wondering: I have to laugh (a little bit) because for many readers, the headline here will be: Three Children Reported to Have Written Thank You Notes. Story at 11!

So – this mom has done a good thing in teaching your grandchildren to express their appreciation in this way.

And it seems that maybe she can’t stop teaching, although her correction of mailman to “mailperson” prompted another chuckle (from me), because I do believe that the correct and gender-free description of the person doing this job is either “postal worker” or “letter carrier.”

(And you can understand why this is: Mailperson, when spoken, sounds like “male person,” which sort of defeats the purpose.)

I can understand why this failed correction rankled you, but I hope you will shake it off as the actions of an active and engaged mom who perhaps was over-momming (oops, overparenting) in the moment.

The “offense” was probably not noticed by the children anyway. I’d let it go. I liked the advice given.

The name of my mail carrier is “Yahoo”. I can’t remember the last letter I mailed.

peace to you

 

[Salty]

Scarlett -

I dont think Grandma is stewing - rather she wants to know if she should
be more "PC" in her lanuage - as she said "not to become an example of how ignorant grandparents can be."

Do you think the daughter-in-law over reacted?

 

[Scarlett O.]

Scarlett -

I dont think Grandma is stewing - rather she wants to know if she should
be more "PC" in her lanuage - as she said "not to become an example of how ignorant grandparents can be."

Do you think the daughter-in-law over reacted?

Yes. They both did.

 

[nonaeroterraqueous]

There was a time when the term man referred to all humans. If we have to remove the term, everywhere, then we're going to have to stop referring to the ladies as women. Shall we call them wopersons? I think I'll try it on my wife and see how she reacts.

 

[SovereignGrace]

There was a time when the term man referred to all humans. If we have to remove the term, everywhere, then we're going to have to stop referring to the ladies as women. Shall we call them wopersons? I think I'll try it on my wife and see how she reacts.

Just call her woo honey instead. Keeps you from the Alpo.

 

[5 point Gillinist]

ADVICE
Opinion Columnist
Ask Amy:
Something is bothering me that I just can’t shake, and I’d welcome your opinion.
My husband and I have three young grandchildren who live across the country. We are seldom able to visit in person, so we use FaceTime to stay in touch.
Yesterday while chatting with the kids (all younger than 10), I told them how much I appreciated their Christmas thank-you notes and I mentioned that “the mailman” had just delivered them.

Yesterday while chatting with the kids (all younger than 10), I told them how much I appreciated their Christmas thank-you notes and I mentioned that “the mailman” had just delivered them.

Off-camera, I heard my daughter-in-law say: “mailperson.”
I’m irritated that she corrected me in front of the kids

It’s not as if I had used a derogatory term – I would never do that!

My intention was simply to thank the kids for their notes, not to become an example of how ignorant grandparents can be.

Am I overreacting? – Just Wondering

So if you were Grandma- what would you say to your daughter-in-law - if anything

and Amy answered:

Dear Wondering: I have to laugh (a little bit) because for many readers, the headline here will be: Three Children Reported to Have Written Thank You Notes. Story at 11!

So – this mom has done a good thing in teaching your grandchildren to express their appreciation in this way.

And it seems that maybe she can’t stop teaching, although her correction of mailman to “mailperson” prompted another chuckle (from me), because I do believe that the correct and gender-free description of the person doing this job is either “postal worker” or “letter carrier.”

(And you can understand why this is: Mailperson, when spoken, sounds like “male person,” which sort of defeats the purpose.)

I can understand why this failed correction rankled you, but I hope you will shake it off as the actions of an active and engaged mom who perhaps was over-momming (oops, overparenting) in the moment.

This perfectly articulates the absurdity of a godless worldview, where objective truth does not, and cannot exist.

 

[JonC]

I prefer "him-her-they-them deliverer". Mail sounds too much like male, and I don't know if him-her-they-them self-identifies as a person. That said, I always ask what pronouns him-her-they-them prefer so as not to offend.

 

[Salty]

I do not even use the dumb term "him or her".

 

[Salty]

In a similar situation - the Syracuse University sports teams were known as "the Orangemen" as womoen sports increased - the term "the Orangewomen" was used. Then, in 2005, the Admin decided to be PC - and now the Sports teams are known as "The Orange"

Guess what I call the mens teams!!!