No I have not
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Marriage books
- Thread starter evangelist6589
- Start date
No I have not
I agree with you, but I was using needs as saying the primay way God built up to get fulfilled, as the man needs to feel/hear respect, andthe woman love...See, the thing is when we focus on our needs, we have a problem. I don't look at my marriage to fulfill things in me but instead, I want to see how we can glorify God and serve Him. When our eyes are focused on Him, our marriage will be in better shape than if we are focused on what WE want.
I'm reading Married for God again and I can honestly say this is one of the best books on marriage I've read. I'm buying two copies for my daughter and her soon to be fiance to read and work through together.
No...I disagree here. Men don't "need" respect. They need to earn respect. So do women. I honestly would rather be respected than "loved". "Love" is nice but respect is better. Earning respect on both sides is where it starts. As I've had my share of marital issues in the past, I wouldn't have cared how much my husband "wanted" respect if he was going to act like an overgrown two year old throwing a temper tantrum. That didn't get him any respect, especially from the police. He spent 30 days in jail for that one. I want respect too. I want respect for what I bring to my marriage...and if that is not respected, there's no way I'm going to feel "loved".
I posted a biblical critique of that book above. Read it, it's quite interesting and matches up with what I found as I read the book.
This seems to me to be the modern "I won't respect you until you earn my respect." But my bible teaches that we respect people simply because they are made in the image and likeness of God. We can forfeit that respect by our actions, but until that happens every person should be given the respect they have due to being in the image and likeness of God.
I get your point, but in terms of a marriage, I am not sure "love" and "respect" are concepts so easily divorced.
Not earning, but God wired us differently, need to have love/respect in order to function prperily!
Just saying that Men n Women are wired different, so wouldmakesense thy perceive their needs differently!
Where does it say that we are to "need" something and that need has to be fulfilled? To be honest, when we focus on our "needs" and whether or not they are being fulfilled by our spouse, we can get into a lot of trouble. Recently I felt my husband wasn't fulfilling something that I "needed" and I was getting really annoyed. It was through my own study and prayer that I realized that I was looking at a flawed human being to make me feel something and that is not where I should be seeking the filling of my "needs". How about I find my fulfillment in Christ? It really made me see my husband differently and stopped the hurt and resentment that I was feeling. I have released it and my heart is in a much better place. "Needs" are much more of a modern construct and to be honest, I don't see anything about that in Scripture. Are they truly "needs" or are they "wants"?
I think tht it might be ho we are efing needs, as I do beliee that God created men to "need" respect from thir spouses shown to tem, and the women need to know tat the husband loves them in words and deeds.
Or could this be a result of sin?
Love and Respect is excellent. Have used it numerous times and seen it revolutionize marriages to the glory of God.
That is the real answer, as both sexes were corrupted in the all and now are needy!