Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

Larry, you are trying to introduce an issue that isn't relevant to that particular text.

Abuse is wrong, sin, etc. It isn't abandonment. Stop stretching the text Larry. Just let it say what it says. Do you really think abuse didn't exist then? Why is the N.T. silent on the issue?

There are ways of dealing with the abuse issue without remarrying a person.

Should the person leave? Probably. Should they file for divorce? Maybe. Should they remarry? Not on that basis.

Once you expand the definition of the word, it becomes a subjective game of "Well, what about..." Sorry.

 

I am not stretching the text in the least. Marriage is not simply sharing a house. It is living together in companionship and harmony, among other things. When someone is abusing another, they have abandoned the marriage?

Why isn't abuse mentioned? When you read both divorce texts in teh NT (Matt, 1 Cor), you see that both address very specific historical situations and do not pretend to be the "be all and end all" of teaching on the subject. They give teaching on specific cases that we must draw the principles out of. I think we can with good reason say that abuse certainly fits in that category. If others disagree that is fine. It is up to them to find a solution for the problem.

I don't think it is stretching the point at all to say abuse is abandoning the marriage, unless you want to define marriage as simply living in the same house.

 

Mighty high horse you ride sis. I was in law enforcement, and have seen women who live with and try to hide(out of fear) broken bones, hearts, and dreams. Try telling the women who lives in fear that divorce isn't an option. If God wants women to live as such then He kinda looses alittle of who He is.


By His Grace,

 

Read my post again. I said call the police, get help, leave, get yourself and children to safety ... but no divorce.

 

I haven't read through the thread to check this out myself, but there is a lot of interesting truth to what Diane is saying, and I would agree. A few years ago, I would have said, get a divorce.

But now, I would say "no divorce." Maybe it some from the perspective of the Biblical divorce. Maybe it is a control issue. If the man wants to remarry, make him pander to you.

 

>>I haven't read through the thread to check this out myself, but there is a lot of interesting truth to what Diane is saying, and I would agree. A few years ago, I would have said, get a divorce.

But now, I would say "no divorce." Maybe it some from the perspective of the Biblical divorce. Maybe it is a control issue. If the man wants to remarry, make him pander to you.<<

So, if a woman is getting the crud beat out of her by her husband, but calls the police, and he is sent off to jail, she should still remain married to him?? On what basis? So when he gets out he can beat her up some more? Whazup wit dat?

Kenneth

 

Wow Larry, if those were the only options, I might see your point of view. Instead, we have others.

Do you limit abuse to physical, or do you include verbal, sexual, emotional, etc?

If you include more than physical, can a wife divorce her husband for 'abandonment' because he yells at her a couple of times a month? Nice. You have opened yourself up to many more examples, none of which are extreme examples. Sorry Larry, but not only are you wrong on getting to redefine words, but you are so far off on this issue it is sad.

 

Divorce and remarriage is a very troubling subject that those not involved in a particular situation should stay out of commenting on. It's real easy to tell someone else what to do if the advise giver has not had to deal with it personally...not through a friend or relative, but personally in his/her own marriage.

 

So you are saying that Jesus, Matthew, Mark and Paul should have never addressed the issue?

 

Ted Turner once made the remark that 'Thou shalt not commit adultery' should be removed from the 10 Commandments.

No, I have never been divorced and have never considered divorce but I can read and hear ....

Revelation 2:7 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God." '

 

Not for abusive and illegal situations. I don't know about many other states but if a person comes to a pastor or teacher for counseling he is obligated by law to report illegal activities such as incest, etc.

 

I find it hard to believe that anyone should be forced to stay in a marriage if their spouse is beating the crud out of them, or threatening them, even after the abusive person, hopefully, has been placed in prison for many years.

Sorry, but I believe the sanctity of marriage can be upheld without legalism and without expecting other people to put up with a situation that we ourselves would never stand for.

 

How can marriage be held sacred, inviolability, if we do allow it to be dismissed for non Biblical conditions?

 

This is an exellent response! I've not heard it put like this, but it's certainly helped me.

I may be wrong, but perhaps the reason the Lord doesn't mention abuse in the Bible, is because some things go without saying? That some things are just common sense? That some things shouldn't even have to be addressed?

Hsmom3

 

Even common decency tells us that we shouldn't kill, steal, etc. and yet those are mentioned.

Mt 19:8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

1 Co 7:11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

Luke 11:27 And it happened, as He spoke these things, that a certain woman from the crowd raised her voice and said to Him, "Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!" 28 But He said, "More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"

 

Romans 7:1 Since I am speaking to those who understand law, brothers, are you unaware that the law has authority over someone as long as he lives? 2 For example, a married woman is legally bound to her husband while he lives. But if her husband dies, she is released from the law regarding the husband. 3 So then, if she gives herself to another man while her husband is living, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law. Then, if she gives herself to another man, she is not an adulteress.

 

DD,

So you're saying that if a man or woman is good to their spouse and the spouse has an affair, leaves and does not return it is against scripture to remarry? Where in the Bible does it say that?

I do not believe in divorce with people that say stupid things like "I love you, but am not in love with you" or just fight or get bored. If someone's spouse plain out leaves them for another person then scripture allows for remarriage.

In Christ,

Brooks

 

Excellent point! I couldn't agree more!

Christians must studiously avoid legalism.

 

Amen. I totally agree. However, the Bible states for "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." It tells a wife to submit to and obey her husband. None of these commandments give exceptions; however, our common sense, based on the whole Word of God, tells us not to obey a parent or husband who is wanting someone to sin. So sometimes the Bible is not necessarily clear and our common sense is to be used-- based on the whole Scripture.

 

Numbers 30:3 "Or if a woman makes a vow to the Lord, and binds herself by some agreement while in her father's house in her youth, 4 and her father hears her vow and the agreement by which she has bound herself, and her father holds his peace, then all her vows shall stand, and every agreement with which she has bound herself shall stand. 5 But if her father overrules her on the day that he hears, then none of her vows nor her agreements by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the Lord will release her, because her father overruled her. .....13 Every vow and every binding oath to afflict her soul, her husband may confirm it, or her husband may make it void. 14 Now if her husband makes no response whatever to her from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or all the agreements that bind her; he confirms them, because he made no response to her on the day that he heard them. 15 But if he does make them void after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt."

Acts 5:28 saying, "Did we not strictly command you not to teach in this name? And look, you have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this Man's blood on us!" 29 But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: "We ought to obey God rather than men.