Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

Ok SpiritWalker,
you are saying that we should by Biblical standing stay IN a marriage that is dangerous?

How about this, YOU stay in a physically abusive marriage for a few years and let's see how differently you view things.

Make sure you have a refridgerator that makes ice,cause you'll need plenty of it to put on the bruises,cuts and welts you'll have to deal with.

Oh and you will from time to time find yourself beaten awake and there will be no reason or apology forthcoming while you crawl to the bathroom spitting up blood and trying to see through eyes that are so swollen from the beating you think you'll be blind.

Just remember that you said God wants you in this predicament because He said marriage is a forever binding vow made.

Could you please show me scripture for how lovingly beatings are to be given?

Could you please show me scripture that proves this is what's allowed and do show me where it says you should stay and be beaten to death by a spouse whose life seems so meaningless, that yours is too.

Leave but don't divorce perhaps?
What if you're found...you get to suffer another beating perhaps? and yor spouse might get a day or two in jail ..long enough to REALLY anger him?


Are you up to this challenge?

It seems you want an agrument..I'm sorry, but I just don't see the point in it.

I can under NORMAL circumstances say you are on target..We shouldn't seek to leave a marriage because we just can't seem to see things eye to eye..petty issues are absolutely NO grounds for a divorce on that I agree completely..

 

Mommyperson, it's a little hard to see "eye to eye" when one's eyes are swollen shut. Been there. Life is precious. We should never be condemned for preserving it, especially when it is threatened by one who says he loves you, then beats you half to death. There comes a point when you have to take the chance to get out; even knowing that you may go feet first.

I wonder how many of these pastors have ever been in that situation. Most likely none. Living like a trapped animal is not my idea of living, nor is it God's. The devil had the man so God gave the prisoner courage to change the situation.

How can people who say they have sympathy and love for the lost, hopeless, needy people in their communities and have absolutely no understanding nor sympathy for those imprisoned by domestic violence. It is beyond me.

 

The Lord said God allowed Moses to provide for divorce because of the hardness of our hearts. It only takes one spouse with hardness of heart to make for a real need for a divorce, when that hardness of heart manifests itself in things like spousal beatings.

 

SpiritWalker,
you should also share the thoughts about the OTHER side if you want us to clearly understand the depth of the conversation.

You are concentrating on the staying IN the marriage, but not what might break or destroy the person IN the marriage as well as the marriage itself. There are situations that DO go against the marriage, divorce, remarriage laws.Please share ALL of the information, so it doesn't lead others to THINK there IS NO WAY OUT. It reads as though you are saying YOU ARE STUCK FOREVER, no matter what.
To some abused women your message reads as though LEAVING IS AGAINST GOD's law PERIOD and to add insult to injury, WE are adulterers if we DO leave.
Aren't there exceptions to extreme situtations??
I'm sure you'll agree there are.
You have not suffered this type of violence, or you would have share your thoughts about how God's law applies to the situation as a whole..

Instead, you focused on ONE way, ONE idea, ONE absolute.
Please do share what you research on this..You've tapped into a delicate topic that has a lot more to it than you think. Please don't say someone is DEAD WRONG before you have considered and researched circumstances that exist within the marriage completely.



You have a great idea, but there are many avenues that connect with it.

I'm not disagreeing with what you have said about marriage under NORMAL circumstances, just that you must consider ALL aspects and prepare to find yourself questioned about things you leave out or details you miss in extreme cases.

Because some of us have come out of extremes and are hurt by blunt one way ideas.

God didn't intend for us to say, I do, only to find ourselves beaten to death by a spouse who lives by the "til death (by my hand) do we part."


You may be stating Biblical truth for people who have a normal marriage.
What about those of us who DON'T?

Could you share some scripture please for those of us who are under extremes and what YOU think we should do?

THEN your marriage, divorce, remarriage topic will be complete.

 

The whole marriage/remarriage/divorce issue will likely never be resolved to everyone's satisfaction. I doubt there are any who disagree that God's intention for the human family was one man, one woman for their entire lives. He never intended for men to beat their wives or for wives to dishonor their husbands. Saying it is a sign of the times and the product of the sinful condition of our time is not an excuse and we should not expect God to change His plan because we haven't lived up to it. God is not responsible for our bad choices and He is not responsible for the evil that befalls us as a result of bad choices.

However, having said that, we are all guilty before God. That is why we needed a Savior! If you have broken one part of the law, you've broken it all! Christ told the adultrous woman to "go and sin no more." I think He forgave her, don't you?

Heb 8:12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

Do not misunderstand me. I believe there are consequences for our sins and forgiveness does not always mean that we escape those consequences. But, is the person, a Christian, who has been less than successful in matrimony not entitled to forgiveness? Is their sin any greater than another? Do they wear the title of adulterer or adulteress forever?

I asked this question on another thread similar to this. I also asked what was necessary to rectify the problem. How can a person that has remarried following an unscriptural divorce, find forgiveness? Can they be forgiven and move on to honor and serve God?

Be careful how you answer this. Can you forgive the sin and still continually revive the same issue of sin you have forgiven? Preaching that the sin should never happen is done for prevention and that is fine, but what is to be done with those that have specifically sinned in their life?

1Ti 1:15 This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.

 

I am divorced--remarried--and judged only by God.
The issue is resolved in my heart, and my Saviour is my advocate--take it up with Him if anyone feels the need to argue.

 

Amity, I can't think which is worse; being married to an atheist or being married to one who claims to be a Christian but ruled his house with fear and used the Bible in an attempt to convince his cowering wife and child how evil they were. It seems that yours lives what he really believes. Mine seemed more like Satan than a Christian. We both made mistakes in judgement, but who hasn't made those mistakes. We have plenty of company in that department. If we are faithful to confess our sins God is faithful to forgive.
Keep your head up and don't let him take you down. Remember God has his arms around you.

 

Them misconception that anyone is "judging" is a truly lost cause. It is emotionally biased and based on previous experiences. It also wreaks of a vendetta against the spouse whom is accused of the abusive nature.

One feels vindicated by the divorce against the abuser, but the divorce STILL is against the Law of God in Deut 24 AND what Jesus has to say concerning divorce.

Divorce is a severing of the "becoming one flesh" for WHATEVER "reason" one can fabricate OR produce as factual evidences for that divorce.

The plain Truth is that the MARRIAGE should have been MUCH more considered and prayed about BEFORE the vows of HOLY MATRIMONY.

The warning given by Jesus IS that anyone, for whatever reason, marrieth her that has been divorced commits adultery, but that DOES NOT mean habitual or continual adultery. The sin is against God, NOT against another man.

The key is that marriage IS an institution of God, to be enjoyed by man, sought for a spouse in the will of God, PERIOD!!! All other marriages are subject to failure.

Man has done all he could possibly think of to reason out and try to justify his sin, but to no avail, that is still sad. And to jump on the bandwagon of "I've been hurt! You need to feeel my pain before you judge me!" is still truly sad. It is not that anyone doesn't know there's hurt, but we are trying to salvage marriages, put homes back together, incite the COMMAND of God to FORGIVE!

We should all admit there was that certain something that "sparked" the feeling to marry in the first place! We are trying to make everyone realize the implications of marriage and the ramifications of divorce, which is cowardice, at least on the behalf of an abusive spouse NOT to get RIGHT WITH GOD!!

Marriages are BUILT on the Word of God, never allowed to be destroyed by man's misconceptions, the first vow still having it's regulatory hold, only the vow is then broken, not done away.

Spiritwalker, EXCELLANT!! EXACT!! The TRUTH!!

Just something my wife of tweny years has on her mirror:

"Never let your emotions control you. God has all the grace in bountiful supply to keep you from sin.

Be angry and sin not."

 

I am going to ask you this question. Would it have been better for me to divorce my husband than to have him kill me, me kill him or my son kill his father. Because one of those three would have happened if I had remained. It had gotten that bad and He was pushing it toward that end.

 

Delly, you are interjecting the symptoms and neglecting the disease.

No one has ever implied for you to stay in that situation, but divorce is never the answer to sin, whether it be adultery, abuse, etc....

Since you asked, and then interjected all the other stuff, why haven't you or your son "killed" him for what he already did?

 

Because he killed himself when he couldn't get to us. When he had no more control, he had no reason to live anymore.
Is that a good answer?

 

Delly,
I understand what you went through.
In the eyes of others who haven't a clue what it feels like to live in this kind of extreme, it's easy to point fingers and say YOU ARE GUILTY.

Just take comfort in knowing WE ESCAPED.
Our children will not BECOME like the spouse we ran from. We are also forgiven. God is our ONLY judge and we need not worry about what MAN says about it. You are not alone.

Living it and talking about it are two different things.

 

Is divorce wrong - yes.

Is divorce the unpardonable sin - no.

Walk a mile in my shoes...

 

Ralph, I would never harm anyone or anything unless it was in self defense or to save the life of my son. It was much better for me to run away and hide than to be forced to take his life or lose my own. I am now a productive member of society. I attend church and use my talents for God's work. (something I wasn't allowed to do when I was married) I believe God was right there with me and my son as we fled that house and he has been with us every step of the way. He has blessed my life tremendously since then so I believe I made the right choice.

 

To those to whom it pertains:

Yes, I will face the imminate consequences imposed by God and Him alone.

So will you.
Matt. 23 12-29
Rom 2:1-4

In Christ I stand--cast judgement upon me?

 

It is only a "good" answer if it is the truth, though sad as it is.

Then the marriage vows would not have been broken though, they would have released the both of you, man, who is now deceased, and you, who would have then been the widow, in good standing with the Law of God, and expecting the fullness of grace.

The question I now have for you is, can you stop "taking shots" at your former husband, especially now he is dearly departed?

You have no right to carry this bitterness any further, it is destroying the person God would have you to be!

I know it is hard! I live with the ramifications of family squables daily, but I have experienced the grace of God in knowing that it is not me that continues the attrition. My home is open to all my relatives, but they refuse to visit, and then demand I come to them. I've been to them, it is now their respective turn. Just as it is your turn to move on and stop dredging in the slimepit of bitterness.

 

I love the way you have used the guile of supposition, though you don't know me, nor do you know anything about me. I am NOT judging anyone, you or Delly alike.

You say not to worry what man has to say? You should, man is the way God relates to other men what He has to say, look at the Word of God, for instance, inspired by God, penned down by men, spoken to other men.

My parents divorced, amnd NO, I am NOT like either of them!! They took the coward's way out, they didn't acknowledge God, they just sat down in their own "potty" (and I'll pee if I want to) {Excusim wah}, continued in their bitterness, even until this very day, 30 years later, dragging all their children into the malay, expecting eacxh to side with them, I don't! they are very bitter against me, for simply telling them the truth. I will not listen to each run the other down, that makes them furious, and then I am attacked by the very same "demon dog" that regulates and controls them. I am almost smelling that same canine in this conversation! The scent is unmistakable.

 

No thanks, some one might accuse me of cross-dressing!