Marriage, divorce reconciliation

[npetreley]

I finally found the passage that says that when you divorce, and your wife remarries, it is not permitted for you to reconcile with her again even if she leaves her new husband or her new husband dies. In fact, it is considered an abomination before the Lord.

Deuteronomy 24:1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, 4 then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Note that in this law, it was not a sin to write your wife a certificate of a divorce. But it was an abomination to take her back after she remarried.


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[pinoybaptist]

I think there are two reasons, maybe more, for this.
One is because the former husband already declared he found some uncleannes with her (verse 1). Kinda like a dog eating his own vomit if he takes her back.
Another is in verse 4:then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled;

That one I don't think needs too much explanation.

I used to tell my girlfriend back in senior high that if she had another boyfriend besides me, I wouldn't want our relationship to continue because I don't like kissing lips that another guy's lips kiss also.

 

[npetreley]

Yeah, I didn't think it needed explanation. I referenced this in a couple threads without having the scripture. Now that I found the scripture I wanted others to know what I was talking about.
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[thjplgvp]

Jeremiah 3:1 They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

 

[npetreley]

Jeremiah 3:1 They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

Amazing grace.

 

[pinoybaptist]

Jeremiah 3:1 They ............ yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

thank you, bro. I was thinking of this verse, too. Isn't the grace and mercy of our Lord so different from our concept of grace and mercy ? Do we see the contrast ?

verse 1 speaks of the mechanics of divorce which was instituted by Moses because of the hardness of man's hearts. A man who divorced his wife will not want her back anymore, not only because that is what Israel's divorce laws say, but because of the more human reason that nobody wants a promiscous, adulterous, used rag doll for a wife.

And God contrasts that with His thoughts and His ways. After all, as Jehovah God, He is married to Israel, and if in the flesh He said, "what God hath brought together, let no man put asunder", how can He be true to Himself if He himself will not take back an adulterous nation ?

But he, being full of compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not: yea, many a time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath.
For he remembered that they were but flesh; a wind that passeth away, and cometh not again. (Psalm 78:38-39).

Truly, this God is worthy of our worship and thanksgiving !

 

[drfuss]

I finally found the passage that says that when you divorce, and your wife remarries, it is not permitted for you to reconcile with her again even if she leaves her new husband or her new husband dies. In fact, it is considered an abomination before the Lord.​

Note that in this law, it was not a sin to write your wife a certificate of a divorce. But it was an abomination to take her back after she remarried.​

This brings up a question that has been bugging me for a long time; so I will ask it here.

In the Old Testament, it was accepted for a man to have more than one wife at a time providing he could provide for them, for example: Samuel's Father, David, amd Solomon. I always wondered just how this practice was treated in light of Deut. 24:1-4. Am I missing something?

 

[npetreley]

This brings up a question that has been bugging me for a long time; so I will ask it here.

In the Old Testament, it was accepted for a man to have more than one wife at a time providing he could provide for them, for example: Samuel's Father, David, amd Solomon. I always wondered just how this practice was treated in light of Deut. 24:1-4. Am I missing something?

I don't think you're missing anything. The law was often different for men than for women. The law allows a man to write a certificate of divorce to his wife, but I don't know of any place in the entire Bible where it even discusses the possibility of a wife divorcing her husband. Some people will dismiss this as cultural, and the following statement isn't going to sit well with postmodernist thinking, but I think the Bible consistentlyand unashamedly differentiates between the roles and responsibilities of men and women.

I'm not even going to touch the question as to whether or not it would be permissible today for a man to have more than one wife. It wouldn't matter anyway, since it's against the law, and we are to obey the law in cases like this.

 

[AresMan]

I used to tell my girlfriend back in senior high that if she had another boyfriend besides me, I wouldn't want our relationship to continue because I don't like kissing lips that another guy's lips kiss also.

This is why I try to stay away from physical intimacy. I hope to find a woman who feels likewise.

This is just a personal conviction of mine, and I don't preach at others who don't hold this conviction to the same extent as I do; however, I think it avoids such problems in the future. Say a few years into your marriage your partner asks about your life before you were married and asks about girlfriends that you had and what you did. Then she asks, "So, how was it when you kissed her? Did it ever feel better than when you kiss me?" Now, regardless of what the truth of the answer is, you will still leave her pondering as to how much of your heart you gave away before you were married, and how much you still have left for her.

I am not saying that anyone here who may not think like I do was/is loose in pre-marital relationships. I still will shake hands, hug, and play games that may involve things like holding hands (if the context requires it), however what matters to me is the intent of such actions. I feel that I (and other singles) should resolve to refrain from the practice of physical intimacy as a means of fulfilling a dating relationship. Not in a legalistic way ("What?! You shook hands with her?! How did it feel, pervert?! Wash your hands, now!"), but in a level-headed common-sense way.

I will step down from my soapbox.

 

[npetreley]

This is why I try to stay away from physical intimacy. I hope to find a woman who feels likewise.

This is just a personal conviction of mine, and I don't preach at others who don't hold this conviction to the same extent as I do; however, I think it avoids such problems in the future. Say a few years into your marriage your partner asks about your life before you were married and asks about girlfriends that you had and what you did. Then she asks, "So, how was it when you kissed her? Did it ever feel better than when you kiss me?" Now, regardless of what the truth of the answer is, you will still leave her pondering as to how much of your heart you gave away before you were married, and how much you still have left for her.

I am not saying that anyone here who may not think like I do was/is loose in pre-marital relationships. I still will shake hands, hug, and play games that may involve things like holding hands (if the context requires it), however what matters to me is the intent of such actions. I feel that I (and other singles) should resolve to refrain from the practice of physical intimacy as a means of fulfilling a dating relationship. Not in a legalistic way ("What?! You shook hands with her?! How did it feel, pervert?! Wash your hands, now!"), but in a level-headed common-sense way.

I will step down from my soapbox.

I agree with your attitude. But since I have been married, and I do have a past, when women ask those questions, I refuse to answer them. I would prefer to say "The past is the past, and although I can't make it disappear, I would still rather put it all behind me."

On a side note, I think that kind of curiosity is mostly a woman thing. I'm honestly not interested in what it was like for women and their past boyfriends/mates. I can't help but wonder why women ask questions like that.