Preacher2015
Member
Guidelines for who a pastor marries and who he shouldn’t. I have been struggling lately with this.
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Marriage Guidelines for a pastor
- Thread starter Preacher2015
- Start date
Many passages elevating marriage in the Bible. Little about who/how such a ceremony takes place in the Bible. Would you believe AI came up with this summary?
"The Bible doesn't prescribe a specific marriage ceremony, but it does describe and illustrate weddings in a social context.
Bible passages about marriage
In the Bible, marriage is a man and woman living together and attempting procreation. Some say that social marriage is the most biblical.
Marriage in the early Christian Era
For much of the early Christian Era, the Church stayed out of weddings and let the state handle the union of man and woman.
"The Bible doesn't prescribe a specific marriage ceremony, but it does describe and illustrate weddings in a social context.
Bible passages about marriage
- Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"
- Matthew 19:4-6: "What therefore god hath joined together, let not man put asunder"
- 1 Corinthians 7:10-11: "What God has joined together, no one can separate"
- Honor each other (Ephesians 5:33)
- Respect each other's needs and feelings (Colossians 3:19)
- Give up your will for the good of the relationship (Philippians 2:3-4)
- Serve each other sacrificially (Ephesians 5:21)
- Pray together as a couple (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
In the Bible, marriage is a man and woman living together and attempting procreation. Some say that social marriage is the most biblical.
Marriage in the early Christian Era
For much of the early Christian Era, the Church stayed out of weddings and let the state handle the union of man and woman.
Personal note: As an ordained minister, I am authorized to marry anyone. For 30 years, I did hundreds of marriages as part of my outreach to help folks "do right" (their own good and good of society). Our county did not have a Justice of the Peace and the courts were busy and "cold" (4 minute legal marriage). So I met with our county clerk and set up guidelines and gave them permission to distribute my name as "possible" officiant to couples applying for marriage license.
My personal guidelines:
Both be either non-Christian (not truly born again) or both Christian
Both be of age with family blessing (usually THEIR kids, not their parents)
Must meet with me for marriage counseling
May be married anywhere
Service will be Christian, with prayer, Scriptures, biblical challenge to them and witnesses
No alcohol at site
They must have proper paperwork from County
They must have 2 adult witnesses present
No charge except for gasoline if out of immediate area
I would accept a love gift for my services (and almost all did so, thankfully)
The county asked for one exception: in special legal cases, I would suspend the 2-hour counseling and perform ceremony. Immigration or other agency would give me a check and secured location. I did 5-6 over 50 years but cannot share details of these.
Some years I did 5 and some years 30. Gave out the Gospel in counseling with the couple in detail, and also in general during the ceremony. Outreach for my church (some came to church) and evangelism (some professed salvation).
My personal guidelines:
Both be either non-Christian (not truly born again) or both Christian
Both be of age with family blessing (usually THEIR kids, not their parents)
Must meet with me for marriage counseling
May be married anywhere
Service will be Christian, with prayer, Scriptures, biblical challenge to them and witnesses
No alcohol at site
They must have proper paperwork from County
They must have 2 adult witnesses present
No charge except for gasoline if out of immediate area
I would accept a love gift for my services (and almost all did so, thankfully)
The county asked for one exception: in special legal cases, I would suspend the 2-hour counseling and perform ceremony. Immigration or other agency would give me a check and secured location. I did 5-6 over 50 years but cannot share details of these.
Some years I did 5 and some years 30. Gave out the Gospel in counseling with the couple in detail, and also in general during the ceremony. Outreach for my church (some came to church) and evangelism (some professed salvation).
Tenchi
Active Member
Being a pastor, shouldn't he already be married?
In view of the fact that marriage is God's "institution" and only really works properly when He's at the center of it, illustrating the love of Christ for his "Bride," the Church, should a pastor be uniting together in this fundamentally spiritual relationship two people who are still "dead in trespasses and sins"? This seems to me rather like sending buck privates out onto the battlefield unarmed. What every unsaved unmarried couple needs is God, not each other (whatever they might feel). And until they know Him as their heavenly Father, their marriage will constantly testify to His absence, yielding the corrupt "harvest" of the flesh (Ga. 6:7-8). What pastor, loving such a couple as God does, would help them to such a misery, binding them to each other in a covenant that can only really succeed when God is its Foundation?
My previous pastor's wife recently passed... no, not all pastor's are married.Being a pastor, shouldn't he already be married?
After someone asked, "If your congregation suddenly disappeared, would anyone in the town notice?", a previous pastor was convicted to open the congregational facilities to [almost] anyone that asked.
After some discussion, the church was opened to [almost] anyone who wanted to use the facilities.
[Once there was a local Jewish fellowship that asked if they might use the facilities on Saturday's! - they were very politely declined.]
The pastor had similar views about marriage, he'd marry almost anyone.
>Both must be either Christian or non-Christian (he wouldn't marry a mixed faith couple)
(He gently encouraged gender-confused couples to go to a local gender-confused church.)
>Couples must meet with him for counseling
He used the opportunity as a witness for Christ.
Rob
Tenchi
Active Member
You're being a bit pedantic here, I think. Please note the winking emoji at the end of my remark. It signifies - I had hoped - that I was being humorous and that you should not take my question as a serious universal statement about pastors.
Based on scripture it is assumed that a person is already married to a Godly woman and has children that are also under the authority of a Godly leading man before ever becoming a pastor. 1Tim. 3:2-4.
The reason for this is so he can be evaluated and also as a protection from the sin of lust that he could fall into after taking a pastorate and dishonor the Name of the Lord.
Now someone mentioned about a wife dying while a person is a pastor. It is assumed that he has already been evaluated and meets the qualifications, so he need not step down. That being said he would need much prayer not to fall into the trap of the evil one.
In my opinion if a person IS NOT (never married) married, he should not take the office of pastor as he cannot be properly scripturally proven.
The reason for this is so he can be evaluated and also as a protection from the sin of lust that he could fall into after taking a pastorate and dishonor the Name of the Lord.
Now someone mentioned about a wife dying while a person is a pastor. It is assumed that he has already been evaluated and meets the qualifications, so he need not step down. That being said he would need much prayer not to fall into the trap of the evil one.
In my opinion if a person IS NOT (never married) married, he should not take the office of pastor as he cannot be properly scripturally proven.