Interesting. In a sense, isn't all witnessing is confrontational? You are asking (implicitly or explicitly) a person to confront his or her mortality, and then to confront his or her relationship (or lack thereof) with Christ. In other words, you are the catalyst for the confrontation a person has with him- or herself and God. I know that's not the sense in which the word is being used here, but thought I'd bring it up.
I'll be honest - I get tired of the "if you died tonight, do you know for certain you will go to heaven?" routine. First of all, when it is asked of me, it's not by anyone I know, which makes it kinda intrusive, and second, it's most often asked in a derisive manner, as though the questioner has made up his or her mind that I am unsaved, and is playing the "good Christian soul saver." I know, that's very cynical, but it's a learned response I have. Too many Sunday mornings hearing about the "fun" my Sunday School class had running around downtown, going up to complete strangers and asking this question, then shaking their heads (at the "poor sinner") because the stranger reacted badly. I couldn't help but sit there and think "What'd you expect?" First, they accosted a stranger, and with a religious inquiry to boot - that tends to make people mad for one of many reasons. Either they're like me, and reacting negatively to the tone and assumption, or they're having internal strife about God and Jesus, or just plain mad at all the "Bible thumpers" dipping in their business. Either way, going up to strangers like that doesn't seem the best way. I've found that most people - even if they want to learn - aren't very open to praying with people who seem to be just after them for a notch. It does seem somewhat shady to start a relationship in this way, IMNSHO - like you're only in the relationship for the saving. I think the last thing we'd want to be doing is to make someone think that we only care about getting our toaster or keychain - no matter how personal the matter of salvation is, it can seem very impersonal to the person being witnessed to, depending on the approach used.
What I'm getting at is that I've met too many people think witnessing means going around to strangers and asking "the question." You can take a conversation there, but I don't find it good to start with. Otherwise, it's negatively confrontational. Compelling someone to Christ doesn't mean dragging them kicking and screaming, does it?
We should always remember that not all non-Christians are atheists. Many, if not most, non-Christians already have a theistic belief system. We need to be mindful of that. By that I don't mean that we have to agree with their religion, or anything like that, but we do have to acknowledge that it, most often, isn't as easy as going up to someone, showing them the gospel and waiting for them to say, "Wow! I was an empty vessel, but you showed me!" I've asked people before, "What would it take for you to turn from Christ to another religion?" Most of the time, I'm told that "nothing could do that!" Well, it stands to reason, then, that that is the sentiment we are "up against" with non-Christians. Most believe in their religion just as strongly as we believe in ours. I too often hear it taken for granted that if they're not Christian, they must be nothing, and thus it'll be sooo easy to get them to see the light. Wrong!
I'm not trying to be defeatist - just realistic. I'm not saying that because someone has a faith other than Christianity they're a "lost cause," only that we need to mindful of that and act accordingly. I'm saying that in addition to the active sharing of gospel, we need to concentrate on the person. Is it better to go around to 100 people and ask "the question," then scurry off, or to invest in one or two people? I can't say I know absolutely the answer to that question, but I definitely lean toward the latter.
Helen, I get the same image you do when I hear "confrontational witnessing." It's not a pleasant image! I think it's important to be forthright, but a bad idea to try and scare someone into salvation, which is what "the question" does. And is salvation gotten out of fear truly salvation, anyway? I don't think so.
It's funny, my father once had a customer ask him "the question," and my father responded with the same question. The man got very upset that my father would "question his faith," even after my father told him that he had always taught and been taught that you should know who you're praying with. It was as though it was unthinkable my father should ask the question in return, but this man had every right to ask it of my father. My father finally answered the question in the affirmative, but chose not to pray with this man at that time. A few weeks later, the man came back and they had a great conversation and a few minutes of prayer time.
So, in the end, that tactic worked well, but I'm not sure for whom it worked better -- my father or his customer . . . .
