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ITJesus

New Member
Of course, yes, I know there is no perfect community- until Jesus returns. BUT I'm probably a bit of a strange one and JUST CANNOT seem to find a real community (or church for that matter) out there that even remotely fits the mold of what I'm looking to surround my family with at this phase in life.

There just seems to be a SEA of information online, but I think what I'm looking for is truly a needle in the stack (if it indeed exists at all). In desperation from search overload, I come before you oh most centralized source of Christian discussion. If such a community exists (or even close to it in my core values), please let me know.

In the meantime, my search continues as follows...

1) Conservative Mennonites...but not?

I thought I had finally found my place in the world, when I came across some Mennonite couples on Youtube recently, in which women sported not so much the tiny bonnet tight hair look, but more so a modestly sized (femininely beautiful) vale on the back of their head. The men, in like manner, didn't appear to be sporting a 3-piece suit for their daily business meeting with Jesus type look, but more so respectfully decent and comfortable attire. The more I read and saw and heard...the more I was like..."you's my people...I found my people!"

But, alas, I then read deeper and found...uh, they actually wouldn't want to be my people. Here's the thing, I'm a two-time divorcee, with two re-marriages on top. Granted both previous marriages were ended due to circumstances that certainly DO fit into what many conservative Mennonites rather un-affectionately refer to as the Matt 19:9 "exception clause" (as I've historically been that guy who makes the mistake of trying to rescue those damsels in distress and having that heart to bring every broken wing birdie home with me so I can fix them and make them whole...only to have them later turn out to be rather viscous birds of prey that seek to devour my very substance!...I digress), but I've found that most conservative Mennonites don't even except THAT as grounds allowable for divorce (much less remarriage).

And when I do find Mennonites that are open to such grounds for divorce and remarriage...they've also gone to the extreme of LBGQlmnop and perhaps resemble more an aboriginal culture in modesty of dress than say a classical Christian one. There has GOT to be a group of Mennonites (or at least Christians who hold similar lifestyles as they do), who make loving/Scripturally sound exceptions to such divorce/remarriage scenarios AND have not also dove off the deep end of our currently trending social norms. That's my hope anyway. Independent Baptists perhaps?

Summary: where are Mennonite like Christians (even if not called by such a name) who do not shun "exception clause" divorce/remarriage, allow women to still be lovely (femininely beautiful in appearance/adornment) while responsibly modest in dress (as well as respect of head covering concept), allow men to dress comfortably but respectably decently masculine (T-Shirt not a sin), and don't shun technology entirely. I love everything else I could find about this group. Independent Baptist churches tend to be on the same page as well, but the remarriage topic seems hit or miss per church.

2) "Cussin" Christians- not tolerated.

I just don't get it. SO MANY Christians seem to use profanity and even disrespectful slurs toward God in their daily lives. I don't get it, but I definitely know I don't want my wife and daughters around it (especially not among other followers of Christ who may more easily influence them toward speaking the same).

3) Natural/Organic (Heirloom) diet.

This is another big one for me. Nothing turns me off more (besides perhaps concepts embodied in item 1-2 above) than bringing my family to a church (or intentional community) only to find each and every fellowship gathering we attend is filled with processed, GMO, artificial, pharma experimental objects sold in mass as "food" and my children then feel the need to insert into their mouth. It soon becomes, healthy diet at home and unhealthy diet at church. Not a good association and I'd like to avoid such conflicts.

Would like a community that is dedicated to "clean" or healthy organic diet. Care should also be taken to avoid toxic building/gardening materials as well. Natural healthy lifestyles should be respected.

I'm also going to include in this category, the community needs to support members who do not wish to vaccinate (especially related to the more recent CV--19 related injections).

4) Self-Sufficient Intentional Community.

I know the Hutterites have mastered this concept, but I'm more looking for a bit less rigid approach and not necessarily 100% communal living (0% property ownership)...though I think I would be content in such a community if they waive the straw hat requirement. All kidding aside, would like to be in a community producing our own energy (such as solar, wind, or other off-the-grid solutions) and growing our own food and preparing in every other way practical to have 0 dependency on city/societal infrastructure, while still maintaining a low key visibility in the surrounding community.

5) Worldly Music/Social Media/Internet/TV/Movies and other sources of entertainment highly discouraged, but not completely forbidden.

I've already distanced myself from "secular" music long ago, but will admit I still find myself dabbling in other forms of entertainment I'd rather not (PG-13 and such), from time to time. I long to be among people who fill their time with other meaningful pursuits in life, so my family can make our transition to the other side of the spectrum (even if radically so, I find it better to err on the side of holiness, than walking the fence of wicked influences on our hearts). If they pretty much did completely ban most of these things in a community...I'd probably still be on for the ride. Too much of the entertainment today is so desensitizing and manipulative of our hearts/minds toward things unhealthy in life...I would not expect a community to outright ban such entertainment (though I would like something closer to that), but I wouldn't see it as a terrible thing if they did.

6) Midwifery, Female Physicians, and Homeschooling.

I have all girls in my family (except myself of course). In the spirit of caring for the modesty so cherished in item 1 above, if at all reasonably possible I would like to be in a community that supports women in utilizing midwives and female physicians for feminine needs. Women utilizing males for such needs I would like specifically discouraged, outside of extreme medical necessity and so forth.

It would also be ideal if the community worked together in homeschooling children within. Such children being sent to public schools or secular private schools would seem to take away from the point of forming such a community in the first place I would think.

7) Not so fearful of "contemporary" instruments/styles of worship.

I have to admit, while I'm not one that has a special place in my heart for some of the traditional hymns often heard in say "conservative" Baptist churches...I'm kind warming up to some of those acappella hits I hear Mennonites jamming to (vocals only). But, perhaps this is just something that still needs to be sanctified out of me, I still have a place in my heart for worship more along the lines of a Hillsong genre (minus the scandals, with adultery and other worldly pleasures/abuses associated with that ministry these days...as I'm more so just referring to the sound and heart of worship involved). This one is optional for me. I can find meaningful worship in classical hymns if that means items 1-7 above are there and this one is non-negotiable in the community.

8) Smokin Saints.

And no I'm not talking about physical attractiveness. SO many Christians seem to be addicted to tobacco or vaping or drinking alcohol or prescription drugs. I'd like to be in a community in which such habits are discouraged, unless you have a really good reason for doing so or it is on rare/special occasions only (as well as never in excess). It just feels like many of us are mastered by our flesh in these areas, rather than practicing mastery of our flesh, when such things are just casual habits in our lives. This is not one of those areas I like to come down too hard on, but would feel better if it was a community that did not casually accept these things as normal in a persons life.

9) English please.

I find the KJV of the Bible sort of like one step further than reading a Latin Bible (in as much as ease of comprehension rather than requiring higher education). Don't get me wrong, it's my favorite version to quote if I want to convey the beauty of that language...but it is Old English and quite difficult for the average modern reader to digest. I'm of the view that only the original manuscripts (Hebrew/Aramaic/Greek) were the inspired texts I give the greatest weight to as foundations for source of Truth.

With that in mind, I would appreciate a community that does not forbid the use of other tools for studying scripture (including other translations, beside the KJV). I can live with just a KJV if I had to, but would be nice to not be limited as such.

If ANY of you know of such a community of believers out there (even if they only match a handful of these 9 dream scenarios), preferably that I could physically relocate to with my family (such as an Intentional Neighbors or IC type of setup in a strategically located area of the mountains or at least well outside the confines of modern cities/culture)...please let me know. If you're only aware of churches that meet this criteria, I'll take that too as a great starting place.
 

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
Well, no mater how perfect a community is - as soon as you join it - it will no longer be perfect!:Rolleyes

I do have a question- you state you do not want your wife to have a male doctor.
Would you be a patient of a female doctor?

Are you currently attending anywhere at this time?
 

ITJesus

New Member
Well, no mater how perfect a community is - as soon as you join it - it will no longer be perfect!:Rolleyes

I do have a question- you state you do not want your wife to have a male doctor.
Would you be a patient of a female doctor?

Are you currently attending anywhere at this time?

Funny. You got me for a second and I had to go back to see if I committed a major typing blunder. So what I actually said, which probably was not in as clear a sentence as I meant...is "women utilizing males for such needs I would like discouraged". In other words that women should have female physicians for those more intimate medical needs.

"if at all reasonably possible I would like to be in a community that supports women in utilizing midwives and female physicians for feminine needs. Women utilizing males for such needs I would like specifically discouraged, outside of extreme medical necessity and so forth."

For men, such as myself, I would be fine with a male or female physician- though perhaps there are areas a male physician may be more comfortable an experience for a man. Different dynamics though I would say between the natures of male and female in such areas.

As far as churches, prior to moving from NC to TX, I was attending an Independent Baptist church. Here we've been attending a Church of Christ church, mostly from being invited by friends of the wife. It would not surprise me if it morphs into an LGBQ supporting congregation, so I'm looking to plant my family somewhere I consider more grounded in God's Word.
 

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
As far as churches, prior to moving from NC to TX, I was attending an Independent Baptist church. Here we've been attending a Church of Christ church, mostly from being invited by friends of the wife. It would not surprise me if it morphs into an LGBQ supporting congregation, so I'm looking to plant my family somewhere I consider more grounded in God's Word.

1) thanks for the clarification on doctors.
I dont have a problem with it myself - in fact, my wife has a male doctor.
Are there a few male dr's out there that are there for the "benefits" probally, but I would suspect they are very few. On the other hand there could be female doctors that --- well...

2) unbelievable about the Church of Christ going LGBQ....
I don't know of any CoC that would be affirming - unless they are Disciples of Christ
Are you sure that you are not attending a UNITED Church of Christ -
that is totally different than Church of Christ.

Just curious why - if you were IFB - that you are now choosing not to remain in a Baptist church.

BTW - I used to live in Winston-Salem, NC - and Fort Hood, Tx!
 

AustinC

Well-Known Member
@ITJesus
Have you ever read Diedrich Bonhoeffer's book "Life Together?" I suggest you read the first chapter on "Community." In this chapter he coins the term "wish dream" and he identifies it as a cause for not finding fellowship with other believers. I think it may be helpful for you to read that first chapter.
 

5 point Gillinist

Active Member
Seems like the Mennonites have a hard time believing the bible. They are either adding to it (conservatives) or taking away from it (liberals).
 

AustinC

Well-Known Member
Seems like the Mennonites have a hard time believing the bible. They are either adding to it (conservatives) or taking away from it (liberals).
Ever been to a predominant Mennonite town? My wife grew up in one. 2000 people and 8 different Mennonite churches. Many "wish dreams" causing division.
Mennonite Brethren is probably too modern for our brother, but it has more of a traditional Baptist approach in its theology.
 

5 point Gillinist

Active Member
Ever been to a predominant Mennonite town? My wife grew up in one. 2000 people and 8 different Mennonite churches. Many "wish dreams" causing division.
Mennonite Brethren is probably too modern for our brother, but it has more of a traditional Baptist approach in its theology.

I grew up and currently live in KS which has a very large Mennonite population - I'm also a quarter Mennonite, and married a Mennonite (by heritage) woman. The general conference is big around here, with a few scattered conservative churches. Many of them fairly unbiblical.
 

ITJesus

New Member
1)

2) unbelievable about the Church of Christ going LGBQ....

Just curious why - if you were IFB - that you are now choosing not to remain in a Baptist church.

Sorry, I didn't mean to say the have already gone along with the LGBQ wave, but just it wouldn't surprise me based on what I've seen there. It's definitely not a classical Church of Christ...as they have musical instruments during worship.

And regarding IFB, I wasn't part of an actual Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church but just an Independent Baptist church, with a bit of a Reformed (some might argue Calvinist) bent. They were pretty well in line with what I'm looking for (except very classical in worship music, which I am fine with in the end), but I had to move out of that region and don't plan to return.

So just checking to see if I can find similar churches (more so established semi off-the-grid like communities) in areas of interest. I'm not trying to get away from Baptists, but actually do prefer to find Baptist churches or communities with that traditional modesty and natural diet vibe (that is most often associated with Mennonites, dresses and head coverings and such, which makes them an easy example to use for those qualities as I'd say most Baptists aren't normally that traditional in modesty for me to utilize as an example of what I'm looking for in that area).

IFB, as far as I've seen, also have a hard stance against divorce/remarriage as well. So, as much as I would like to consider bringing my family to their fellowship...not looking to break up my family so I can send her packing back to her first teenage fling (the first person she was "one-flesh" with) and whatever meth-head nightmare that may turn out to be for my wife/daughters. Just sayin.
 

AustinC

Well-Known Member
I grew up and currently live in KS which has a very large Mennonite population - I'm also a quarter Mennonite, and married a Mennonite (by heritage) woman. The general conference is big around here, with a few scattered conservative churches. Many of them fairly unbiblical.
David White, the person who started Pure Flix, is a Mennonite. His dad was my wife's pastor when she was growing up in a Mennonite Brethren church.
 

ITJesus

New Member
Seems like the Mennonites have a hard time believing the bible. They are either adding to it (conservatives) or taking away from it (liberals).

I feel the same about every denomination, movement, and man (some more egregious than others of course). No one has the full clear picture of every truth or it's proper application to life. We all struggle, but as iron sharpens iron...well, you know.
 

ITJesus

New Member
Ever been to a predominant Mennonite town? My wife grew up in one. 2000 people and 8 different Mennonite churches. Many "wish dreams" causing division.
Mennonite Brethren is probably too modern for our brother, but it has more of a traditional Baptist approach in its theology.

Honestly, that's how I feel about Baptist churches as well. There are just SO MANY different Baptist churches in just my city alone, and with so much variation, it's just too much to navigate (much less nation wide). That's why I'm reaching out to a more centralized forum...in hopes a church/community with my particular list of key (albeit more rare traits) may float to the surface.

Doesn't hurt to ask, especially since I'm already looking to find an off-the-grid like community as is. Trying to make the best choice with a big move I plan to pull the trigger on soon anyway- for various reasons more so related to a prepper mindset. I also noted your reference to "Life Together" as something to check out as well.

Regarding the Mennonite Brethren, I'll check that out. Modern, except in morality and modesty related to which areas of their bodies are covered, is what I prefer actually. That would be a plus.
 
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AustinC

Well-Known Member
Honestly, that's how I feel about Baptist churches as well. There are just SO MANY different Baptist churches in just my city alone, and with so much variation, it's just too much to navigate (much less nation wide). That's why I'm reaching out to a more centralized forum...in hopes a church/community with my particular list of key (albeit more rare traits) may float to the surface.

Doesn't hurt to ask, especially since I'm already looking to find an off-the-grid like community as is. Trying to make the best choice with a big move I plan to pull the trigger on soon anyway- for various reasons more so related to a prepper mindset. I also noted your reference to "Life Together" as something to check out as well.

Regarding the Mennonite Brethren, I'll check that out. Modern, except in morality and modesty related to which areas of their bodies are covered, is what I prefer actually. That would be a plus.
Again, read Life Together.
 

Salty

20,000 Posts Club
Administrator
Sorry, I didn't mean to say the have already gone along with the LGBQ wave, but just it wouldn't surprise me based on what I've seen there. It's definitely not a classical Church of Christ...as they have musical instruments during worship.

And regarding IFB, I wasn't part of an actual Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church but just an Independent Baptist church, with a bit of a Reformed (some might argue Calvinist) bent. They were pretty well in line with what I'm looking for (except very classical in worship music, which I am fine with in the end), but I had to move out of that region and don't plan to return.

So just checking to see if I can find similar churches (more so established semi off-the-grid like communities) in areas of interest. I'm not trying to get away from Baptists, but actually do prefer to find Baptist churches or communities with that traditional modesty and natural diet vibe (that is most often associated with Mennonites, dresses and head coverings and such, which makes them an easy example to use for those qualities as I'd say most Baptists aren't normally that traditional in modesty for me to utilize as an example of what I'm looking for in that area).

IFB, as far as I've seen, also have a hard stance against divorce/remarriage as well. So, as much as I would like to consider bringing my family to their fellowship...not looking to break up my family so I can send her packing back to her first teenage fling (the first person she was "one-flesh" with) and whatever meth-head nightmare that may turn out to be for my wife/daughters. Just sayin.


Have you considered a Southern Baptist church? Though a few are against a divorced individual - most are will to consider the situation.

And remember - SBC churches ARE independent. The Convention does not tell us what to do!

As far as coverings - I believe the covering is a lady's hair - not necessarily a hat. (but nothing wrong with a hat) And as modesty goes - if you were to join a church - your high standards would be an inspiration to others!

Would you be able to share what part of Texas you live in?

Salty
 
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