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OT: Oil Changes, Friends and Trust

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TaliOrlando

New Member
Its amazing that we can trust that many people now and days. I went to get an oil change at Mobil and they really disappointed me.

First I see him pull the oil stick, wipe a little from the top and take it to me and say
" Wow...do you see that, you are missing a quart of oil. Thats a oil pan leak " I was like.. no its not.... then he says and "your oil is so dirty my God...you need a special fluid that cleans that gunk out right a.s.a.p "
I tell him... Brother!! I change my oil every 2,000 miles...just changed it a month ago.. my oil is fine... my oil pan is fine... I dont have a leak... I dont want to buy anything...

I was so upset..

Where has trust gone now and days??

Whats the worst thing another Christian has done to you??? Has it affected the way you trust people now?? Why can we forgive but not forget?? Its so hard sometimes to forget..

My best friend who I consider my brother. He was a deacon at our church, he tried kicking it to my wife or in other words tried to get her to leave me by telling her that I was cheating on her and stuff and he won some money. I was heated when my wife told me and confronted him and it was true... I forgave him but since...its been hard because I still remember and it gets me upset.. what can I do. Is it normal?
 
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J. Jump

New Member
Tali what you are feeling is normal for a couple of different reasons. I think we don't forget because of one of two reasons: 1 - Satan brings to memory that hurt so that he can get us further off track 2 - You remember that so that you can be an encouragement to others.

About five years ago I was all but fired from my coaching and teaching position (without merit) by a Christian sister. This all happened two months after we had bought a house and two months before our first child was born. It was during the middle of the semester so there were no jobs to be had at that time.

It crushed us financially and we have still not recovered from it five years later.

The lady that was the head of the school did this to numerous people prior to me and did it to several people after me until the school board finally caught on and asked her to leave. She never apologized for it and to this day I doubt she has any remorse over it.

However, I have forgiven her, but I haven't forgotten about it. It was amazing that within months God was able to use that situation to encourage another coach that went through the same thing and another person that was going through something similar although in a different profession.

Unfortunately as Christians we still have that old nature in us that is warring against the Spirit. And when we allow the old man to take control we are capable of anything.

Pray for those that harm you and hopefully the Spirit can work on you and them both and there can be reconciliation.
 
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TaliOrlando

New Member
J. Jump said:
Tali what you are feeling is normal for a couple of different reasons. I think we don't forget because of one of two reasons: 1 - Satan brings to memory that hurt so that he can get us further off track 2 - You remember that so that you can be an encouragement to others.

About five years ago I was all but fired from my coaching and teaching position (without merit) by a Christian sister. This all happened two months after we had bought a house and two months before our first child was born. It was during the middle of the semester so there were no jobs to be had at that time.

It crushed us financially and we have still not recovered from it five years later.

The lady that was the head of the school did this to numerous people prior to me and did it to several people after me until the school board finally caught on and asked her to leave. She never apologized for it and to this day I doubt she has any remorse over it.

However, I have forgiven her, but I haven't forgotten about it. It was amazing that within months God was able to use that situation to encourage another coach that went through the same thing and another person that was going through something similar although in a different profession.

Unfortunately as Christians we still have that old nature in us that is warring against the Spirit. And when we allow the old man to take control we are capable of anything.

Pray for those that harm you and hopefully the Spirit can work on you and them both and there can be reconciliation.
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Thanks!! Its hard... very hard. The other day I went to Blockbuster and he was at the store. Now, I just recently started a Diet.. I was grumpy already and I knew if I stopped to talk to him and if he would have started with his little lies and stuff I dont know what would have happened... just to be honest. His excuse for trying to seduce my wife..... " I was helping you out, I wanted to test your wife to see if she was worthy of a good friend like you. And she is brother.. she is " Thats what he told me when I confronted him... and he stopped going to church once everything blew up in his face. I told the Pastor about it and he was a deacon. Did I do wrong by telling the Pastor about what his deacon did??
 
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J. Jump

New Member
Did I do wrong by telling the Pastor about what his deacon did??
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Well I think you did do the right thing by going to him and confronting him in person. If he admitted to the wrong doing and sought your forgiveness then I would say the situation should probably have been left at that.

However with him being a deacon adds a little bit of a different circumstance to the picture of just a friend-to-friend situation. Deacons are supposed to be above reproach and that situation is certainly not above reproach I dont think. So do we have a responsibility to keep an eye out on the pastor and deacons to police their activities and then report on their wrong doing? I'm not real sure how I would handle that situation.

If you prayed about it and sensed that reporting the action to your pastor was waht God wanted you to do then by all means you did the right thing, because you must obey God. I don't know if there is a Scriptural mandate as to how that situation is to be tackled. Maybe someone else can help us shed some Light on the subject.
 
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TaliOrlando

New Member
J. Jump said:
Well I think you did do the right thing by going to him and confronting him in person. If he admitted to the wrong doing and sought your forgiveness then I would say the situation should probably have been left at that.

However with him being a deacon adds a little bit of a different circumstance to the picture of just a friend-to-friend situation. Deacons are supposed to be above reproach and that situation is certainly not above reproach I dont think. So do we have a responsibility to keep an eye out on the pastor and deacons to police their activities and then report on their wrong doing? I'm not real sure how I would handle that situation.

If you prayed about it and sensed that reporting the action to your pastor was waht God wanted you to do then by all means you did the right thing, because you must obey God. I don't know if there is a Scriptural mandate as to how that situation is to be tackled. Maybe someone else can help us shed some Light on the subject.
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This was one of the hardest blows...I have ever been dealt with. It was hard!! Also...the one thing that bothered me is that he never could admit he was wrong for doing it. He simply kept on saying he was doing me a favor by testing my wife. I didnt get that at all... Thank God my wife told me in a calm way...because if it wasnt for God!! I would have probably been in jail.. and I am just being honest. God made me a new person so I forgave him but it was hard...
 
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dispen4ever

New Member
The jerk was no Christian friend. A Christian friend would never "test" another's wife. He lied, pure and simple. It still hurts, pure and simple. No one can fault you for that. Just don't let it eat away at you. He isn't worth ulcers or anxiety. You've forgiven him, now go on about your day. Thank God for your wife, your family, your walk with God in Christ.

:love2:
 
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TaliOrlando

New Member
dispen4ever said:
The jerk was no Christian friend. A Christian friend would never "test" another's wife. He lied, pure and simple. It still hurts, pure and simple. No one can fault you for that. Just don't let it eat away at you. He isn't worth ulcers or anxiety. You've forgiven him, now go on about your day. Thank God for your wife, your family, your walk with God in Christ.

:love2:
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Amen!! Do you think I did right by telling the Pastor what his Deacon did?
 
BobRyan

BobRyan

Well-Known Member
TaliOrlando said:
Thanks!! Its hard... very hard. The other day I went to Blockbuster and he was at the store. Now, I just recently started a Diet.. I was grumpy already and I knew if I stopped to talk to him and if he would have started with his little lies and stuff I dont know what would have happened... just to be honest. His excuse for trying to seduce my wife..... " I was helping you out, I wanted to test your wife to see if she was worthy of a good friend like you. And she is brother.. she is " Thats what he told me when I confronted him... and he stopped going to church once everything blew up in his face. I told the Pastor about it and he was a deacon. Did I do wrong by telling the Pastor about what his deacon did??
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As JJ's story illustrates - these predators usually don't "try it once and then quit". By exposing his schemes to the pastor you may have saved another family in your church.

there is no rule that says everyone attending church is saved.

In Matt 7 Christ said "by their fruits you SHALL know them".

1John 2:3-6 says that the one who CLAIMS to know Christ and yet does not walk as Christ walked - is a liar.

In Christ,

Bob
 
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TaliOrlando

New Member
BobRyan said:
As JJ's story illustrates - these predators usually don't "try it once and then quit". By exposing his schemes to the pastor you may have saved another family in your church.

there is no rule that says everyone attending church is saved.

In Matt 7 Christ said "by their fruits you SHALL know them".

1John 2:3-6 says that the one who CLAIMS to know Christ and yet does not walk as Christ walked - is a liar.

In Christ,

Bob
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Yeah!! Sad part was that the Pastor talked to him and he admitted he did wrong but he said the same thing. He was doing it to test my wife. The Pastor simply asked him to step down for a little bit and get right with God and stuff.

He left the church but told others that the Pastor choose my side and talked bad about the church and it got divided. A week later my other best friend Angel, told me that this guy was trying to do the same thing to his fiancee and in fact ended up breaking them up by saying that Angel was cheating on her as well.

So its like you said I wasnt the first and definitely not the last. I still pray for him as much as possible but I feel so guilty for #1 Not forgetting & #2 telling the Pastor and then the church getting split up
 
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