parents hitting on the face...ever okay?

Alright, you two stop arguing before I smack you both upside your heads! :laugh:

Ya'll just walked right into that one.

Back to the OP:

My mother used to tell us kids regularly that she was going to: "knock your teeth down your throat!" A few times she even tried it. Since she was mentally ill and abused perscription drugs for all of my childhood and then some, I make it a practice to not do what she did.

One time I reached out and gave my smart mouth son what the OP calls a firm tap. I didn't intend to cause pain and I didn't, but it got his attention (and evidently the rest of the kids cause no one ever dare to not shut up when told to again lol). That episode didn't solve the problem, only settled that one battle. What solved the problem was him trying the smart mouth thing finally, was him trying it in front of his Dad. That was one of the few times the kid can remember being spanked.

Mostly, we don't spank even. I have other, more effective ways of training my kids that don't require violence. Talking about and training my children in how I expect them to act always worked just fine, but those few times they felt the heat on the backside let them know that we were definately in charge.

Different things work for different kids. Mostly face slapping is a humilation technique. There are very few reasons why a child would need to be humilated as part of discipline (that whole foul, smart mouth one is likely a good reason).

 

I have a similar story. I was 16 also and was mouthing off. She was inconsistent with chores and I called her out on it. The thing is, it wasn't just the expression of an opinion. It was relentless mouthing. I finally got a backhand to the mouth and it stopped me in my tracks. I don't think I ever backtalked after that.

At this point I have no intention of slapping my children on the mouth, but I make no promises.

 

I was never hit in the head by my parents----my momma, though---when she was spanking---I would cover my head with my hands and arms----ummmmmmm-JUST IN CASE-see, momma had a tendency to "Miss"---belts swinging wildly--aimed at the rear end but always at the risk of missin' the mark

 

Why is that a problem? If everything else has failed, do you just give up?

I say we should have public lashings.

Pain and humiliation can work wonders on repeat offenders that are old enough for such punishment or that commit sins/crimes that would warrant drastic action.

Do it when they're younger and avoid behavior later that will land them in jail.

Anyone who disagrees with this needs to go teach an inner city high school class then come back and say your opinion hasn't changed, because then you'll be credible. The latest and greatest: there's been a sexual harassment case, unconcealed drugs on a student, one threat that "my dad will bring in a gun" and one "I will bring in a gun and shoot you" and today a threat of physical violence was directed at me by a 5' 10" teen boy (I'm 5' 1 1/2") who flipped out when I asked him to quit throwing paper. Not too long ago a student was shot in front of his home, speculation says gang related.

So yeah. Once things reach a certain point, bring on the pain and humiliation! Maybe, just maybe, such treatment will cause them to look at their lives and reflect on the choices they make and if they're worth the consequences.

There are PLENTY of people who don't give a rip if the consequence of an action is that you take away a privilege or tell them you're disappointed or whatever happens and you can't do that with adults. Adults who do stupid things go to jail. We're trying to raise adults, not kids, so they need to be taught and taught well. If there's a severe problem that calls for pain and humiliation, that doesn't mean you don't also get to the root of the problem. But getting to the root doesn't negate punishment, harsh punishment that will get their attention.