Pastor’s responsibility during Vacation Bible

Well, I truly feel (and I am ducking as I say this) family comes first! The pastor needs to make sure his family's needs are met before the church's needs. His son is only little once. I have seen pastor's kids become bitter and resentful b/c their dad placed the church above them.

My pastor has stressed to our youth pastor who has 3 kids to be at the ball games, recitals, etc. They come first. He said he learned that the hard way. And when his wife was in the hospital w/pnuemonia he was at her side. I really respect that.

As far as VBS if he can make an appearance before or after that would be great. But with all of the other responsibilities a pastor has I don't think he should be expected to teach a class at VBS.

My .02

Take care.

 

I also meant to say that our first priority should be our relationship w/the Lord--not be confused with our ministry--that comes after our families. Some confuse the two thinking our ministry is our relationship w/the Lord. I think our ministries flow out of our relationship w/God--but shouldn't precedence over our families. Make sense?

Take care.

 

Of course we dont know what the "other issues" are that the VBS director/wife feels the DOM should be in on. I know that my husband would be open to hearing criticism from someone without a "mediator" present. I think, though, that the fellw could at least make an appearance.

As for the church supporting the preachers kid - my girls, 3 and 4, had a ballet recital on a recent Sunday afternoon. We had a churchwide dinner that Sunday as well, and the girls and I left early to go to the recital at our appointed time. After we left the church, a tornado came thru and the weather was terrible. But to my suprise, we had 16 people from our church there to support our girls!! Now the girls dont know how special that is - they are young. But it sure meant alot to my husband and me. We try to go to the concerts, beauty pageants, ball games, or programs that we have church kids in, but it didnt even cross my mind that they would come to ours! And it did "fill us up with love" as stated earlier.

I feel sure that you will alienate the pastor if you do bring in the DOM on an minor issue like this one. If there is a moral issue, then maybe you do need to get some wise counsel from the DOM.

 

Our Pastor and his wife are teaching a CLASS in VBS and he's sharing with children 6 and older tomorrow after our general worship rally. YES, a Pastor should be at VBS! It's a very important faction of a church! What would HE think if the chairman of the deacons didn't come to a Revival because he bowls on a league?

 

I can't remember a church function I've ever been to that didn't have one pastor or another there. In the small churches, there was only one preacher and he was there!

Whether or not he took an active role or was just available if needed, depended on the situation.

We go to a larger church now, with several ministers. I had to stop and think how many I saw during the last week(notice that I'm not the most observant person on the earth, and if I didn't have direct contact then I didn't count them as being there. But they could have been and I just didn't know it).

So we have 6 ministers including the senior pastor. The senior pastor, wasn't there because we don't have one at the moment. We don't even have an interim pastor yet. That leaves 5 and I saw 4 of them at VBS. 1 taught a class, 1 was the minister in charge, 1 was the music minister and I don't know what he did but he was there, and 1 directed recreation and the upward basketball camp that occurs in the pm after VBS.

The 5th minister is our senior's minister and he has a full schedule of ministry that happens outside the church building. I didn't really expect him to be there.

You've been given some good advice here. Sometimes pastors have to make hard decisions about how to split their time between church and family. While I admit, communications here might have been a little better, just think of what an influence your pastor has over those young boys on that little league team.

 

Maybe he could have made arrangements for someone to cover his coaching duties during VBS. I don't mind a pastor involved in coaching, as long as it doesn't interfere with his responsibilities to the church.

 

Good point. It seems to me that there are a number of issues to balance out that we can't because we are not in that individual situation.

For example, if this is a very small mission church partially funded by the local association, it could be very appropriate to have the DOM there.
With the facts as presented, I think that respondents are over-emphasizing that a pastor should "be there" for his children and under-emphasizing that in this particular case VBS was planned long ago, and the minister said he would be there.

In real life, NONE of us, can be at everything our kids are involved in. My husband's job often conflicts. Many a Scout trip has had a number of fathers. Yet my husband has not been able to go on a number of them.
When you have more than one kid, sometimes they have things going on at the same time.

I disagree with the premise here that you can make a commitment to church long in advance, and then when something comes up with your child that it is necessarily the best thing to drop the long-held church commitment.

We attend our kids' stuff early and often. But when we have made a prior important commitment, they have learned something by watching us keep commitments. No, I don't think they are scarred. They just got back from a great camping trip with their father.

This ties in to the earlier threads on what pastors do and what deacons do. (My pastor and my church do a good job on this issue.) Sometimes pastors, while emphasizing that churches should not expect too much out of them, then expect church members to pick up the slack too much. What if the VBS director in the OP had something come up with her kids and had announced to the pastor the week before that she couldn't do VBS after all? After all, shouldn't she put her kids first too?

Karen

 

Well, I wasn't really saying that he should break his commitment that he already made. I just think a lot of times priorities get lost in the shuffle. I've been in church all my life and have seen pastors who were more committed to their church "family" than their blood family. And I've seen pastors who knew how to balance family and church. It's hard, I know.

Yes, one week out of the season won't harm his son. But his son needs to know that he is more important to his dad than his congregation. Yes, it's also important that children see pastors at VBS.

Yes, it's important that we as church members be careful not to become over-committed to our church to where our families suffer. That happens all the time.

There has to be balance. And since I don't know the whole scope of this situation, I will say no more.

Take care y'all!

 

I think it shows where the heart is of the Pastor. That is the issue. When we have tried to teach our children that life is about God and not us, then the pastor skips vbs and his son also to play baseball.

What eternal value is there in baseball? What is being taught here?! I think it is a sign of the times with some of the statements pastors have made on this thread. It really really is a shame!

 

Kevin,
At the risk of being crucified by the masses on this board, I must tell you that your wife's complaint very simply stems from her opinion and not from a concrete, hard and fast rule. If your wife is capable of being the VBS director- if she has been gifted and equipped to do this work of the ministry- she should do it.If she has recruited teachers to carry out VBS responsibilities, then she needs to have confidence in those she has picked. She is out of line calling the DOM, and she is out of line if she makes this an "issue" in the church. The deacons/elders should see that her point is taken, but that the Pastor is free to make a decision like this at his discretion.

Some Pastors go to VBS, some teach at VBS, some are on vacation, some have other obligations, and some - like your Pastor- keep a commitment he made to his son and 12 or so other kids and their parents.

Now, I am off to VBS to teach the Preschoolers and the Elementary!!

 

Absolutely. He needs a wholesome outlet (hobby) in his community away from church. The time with his son is priceless.

Now, I'll pray for him as he deals with those "church ladies" that will try to get him fired.

 

Absolutely. He needs a wholesome outlet (hobby) in his community away from church. The time with his son is priceless.

Now, I'll pray for him as he deals with those "church ladies" that will try to get him fired. </font>[/QUOTE]izaaksdad and Jeffrey,
You make some good points, and I'm not interested in crucifying anyone. But how do you deal with the points I made? Among other points, the pastor made a commitment to VBS long ago. And what if other workers had done what he did at the last minute? Kids have many activities. And some of them come up at the last-minute. But is it "absolutely", Jeffrey, that the baseball team trumps a longstanding commitment?

Karen

 

There may be tremendous value in baseball if that is where the crowds are. If the crowds are at baseball and none in VBS then it tells you what people think about VBS.

The church I attend now has grown from 70 to about 2000 in eight years. They do not have VBS. I attended another church that grew from 25 to 330 in three years and no VBS. It is not about VBS but about reaching people. VBS is not a command but fishing for men is. The church is not about programs and filling slots but about people.

 

Well pastor are you trying to tell me that vbs is not about reaching people! You mean that when I pick my pleasures over serving God my kids will not see that! Hey the crowds may not be at church either but where should you be!
Its not more about reaching souls then it is about glorfing God's name! Should I cancel my praise at church to go to the bars...thats where the crowds are, or to the ball park?! No I would glorfy God's name more by showing that He is most important.
We will not agree again I am sure because I think the stand you are taking is so secular thinking that we have no common ground.

I am amazed!

 

Tim, he said there may be tremendous value...

VBS is a tremendous opportunity not only for reaching children in the community, but as a doorway to their families as well.

However, not all churches do VBS. Yet many of these churches have an outstanding outreach program as cited above. I don't believe his point was that baseball is more important. I believe his point was that each church, VBS or not, should be "reaching people" for the Lord.

Are you sure you can't stand on common ground with that point?

 

Not at the sacrafice of God's work USN. If a church has chosen to do that program then the pastor should back it. I am not caring rather people have VBS or not. Our church does but there are many other ways for outreach. My thinking is that if He is the pastor and he wants the program then He should support it.

If I remember correctly the pastor said he would be there then changed his mind for his son's baseball. If there was a large crowd there couldn't his testemony havce been ...I couldn't make it "I was doing the LOrd's work". I am sorry I just don't see it.This is a temperal world, this is not our home. Shouldn't we put more value on things above then down here?

Again the bottom line is not about People, it is about God and His glory.

 

VBS is supposed to be about reaching people, but it may not always be the most effective. I pastored a small church out of seminary and we didn’t have but 16 people on a good day. On one afternoon the people knocked on doors and as a result started six different outreaches in the community that was still going on when I left. Literally overnight we more than doubled our church attendance. We had tried VBS and found it to be almost worthless because of the people in the community. Most of them worked long hours and their kids were taken care of by someone else. It would have been much more work for them to be sure their kids came to VBS. So mostly all we saw was church kids. For the most part it was a flop. Backyard Bible clubs worked much better for us. We did that at a park. Ever watch kids and parents wondering what is happening and then join in. I know of no better ministry than what was being done in Los Angeles where two friends decided they wanted to teach kids so they came by a particular area each week at the same time to meet kids after school. They came around in a truck and had a different program each week. Those two young men reached many. It was not VBS but the same as a weekly backyard Bible club. Those kids were there for about 1.5 hours each week. Isn’t about 75 hours in a years better than about 20 hours in one week.

VBS is big business for publishers. It is a very competitive business among publishing companies.

Architectural evangelism is done in a church building. Evangelism is done in the community. If you want to reach people don't wait for them to come to you. You go to them. Evangelism is not a worship service. Non-believers cannot worship. They do not know Him.

Jesus never preached inside of a church yet there are Christians all around the world.

Where do you find Jesus reaching children in the Gospels?

As a college student I participated in a church that held VBS in the city park for many years. That church was the largest church in town (about 1200 in attendance each Sunday). It didn't get there through architectural evangelism while others watched.

If we are going to reach kids then we need to where they are. I am quite positive it is not in your local bar. However, maybe you could buy the bar like a friend of mine did.

One of the best conference grounds in the US was a logging camp and bar at one time. They bought it. Ever Heard of Hume Lake Christian Camps in Hume, CA? Some of the best speakers in the world preach there.

 

How would you divorce people from that?

1 John 4:20, "If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen."

James 2:15,16, "If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?"

James 1:27, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

 

How do we know that God didn't want the Pastor at the Little League game? That's an excellent opportunity for a man to witness to boys too.

We shouldn't be quick to judge. You don't have to be inside a church building to serve Jesus Christ.