Pastoral Priorities

[Jonathan]

1. Concerning the roles of Pastor, husband, father: how do you rank your responsibilities?
2. How does this actually work out?

 

[Pastor_Bob]

Originally posted by Jonathan:
1. Concerning the roles of Pastor, husband, father: how do you rank your responsibilities?

With these three options, the priorities must be:
1. Husband
2. Father
3. Pastor

God established and ordained the home long before He established the church. My wife and children must come first. If I do not provide for them I am worse than an infidel.

2. How does this actually work out?

Sadly, many Pastors do not keep the main things the main things. Too many men have sacrificed their families on the altar of being "successful" as a Pastor. Usually this happens when the Pastor has an incorrect view of what a successful Pastor really is.

For me personally, my study is at home. I have an open door policy for any family member. They know that if I'm not on the phone, they may always come in to talk to me anytime they need to.

In addition, my family is involved in the ministry here with me. We visit together. My wife and girls run a van route on Sundays. My boys and I run a bus route on Sundays.

One last thing, I do not discuss problems in the church at home. If a man comes to see me and we have a disagreement, my wife will have no clue whatsoever that there was a conflict. I can't afford to have her pick up an offense or become bitter. That bitterness could destroy her. It is my responsibility to protect her and be her spiritual leader.

I want my children, especially my boys (19 & 14) who both feel like God would have them enter the ministry, to see the blessings of the ministry instead of hearing me complain about the hardships.

If we keep everything in its proper place, it will usually work out okay.

[ January 01, 2003, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Pastor Bob 63 ]

 

[Jim1999]

The order in my mind is:

God...husband, father, pastoral. When this order is followed, the times when pastoral duties are much needed over family, the family understands and offers their blessings........so, in essence, one serves the other.

Cheers,

Jim

 

[Pastor Larry]

I do not believe these are mutually exclusive. They all have a certain place and role. Pastoral duties cannot be ignored for the sake of family. Family duties cannot be ignored for the sake of ministry.

 

[Dr. Bob]

My relationship with God is first, wife is next (she will still be here when the kids are all out of the nest), then kids, then my church ministry.

People in church know this. If there is a family emergency and church emergency at the same time, my folks KNOW where my priority will be.

Practical - Anyone who would put the church first at such a time will reap the whirlwind. But this does not mean that the whims and wishes of my family usurp ministry in the church. I am not "run" by them any more than God is "run" by me, His child.

 

[Salty]

Well, lets see Mrs Salty just got a new (used) car on Monday - She went to work last night and when she got home this am (graveyard shift at a children's hospital) she told me that when she turn the heater on (yes getting a bit chilly last night) she could smell oil. I called ....the dealer today - have an appointment in the AM. Since she will be sleeping, I will take the vehicle to the dealer. I did have some other plans - but priorities....

 

[Ben1445]

These verses explain proper priorities

1 Timothy 3:5
(For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)

For a man to be qualified to take care of a church, he must be able to take care of his family.
Being placed over the care of a church doesn’t replace the responsibility of his family. If he ceases to be able to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God? He becomes unqualified for the job.

1 Timothy 5:8
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

We do not get a pass on taking care of our families.

1 Cor. 7:32-34
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.


The proper order of things is maintaining the relationship between our spouses before the church.

Logically,
When I married my wife, I made her promises.
When I had children, I took on responsibilities. There is no necessity to promise to provide for my children. It is my temporary responsibility.
Upon taking the responsibility for the church, I add responsibilities. There is no excuse whatsoever to deny my obligation to take care my family.

 

[JonC]

With these three options, the priorities must be:
1. Husband
2. Father
3. Pastor

God established and ordained the home long before He established the church. My wife and children must come first. If I do not provide for them I am worse than an infidel.

Sadly, many Pastors do not keep the main things the main things. Too many men have sacrificed their families on the altar of being "successful" as a Pastor. Usually this happens when the Pastor has an incorrect view of what a successful Pastor really is.

For me personally, my study is at home. I have an open door policy for any family member. They know that if I'm not on the phone, they may always come in to talk to me anytime they need to.

In addition, my family is involved in the ministry here with me. We visit together. My wife and girls run a van route on Sundays. My boys and I run a bus route on Sundays.

One last thing, I do not discuss problems in the church at home. If a man comes to see me and we have a disagreement, my wife will have no clue whatsoever that there was a conflict. I can't afford to have her pick up an offense or become bitter. That bitterness could destroy her. It is my responsibility to protect her and be her spiritual leader.

I want my children, especially my boys (19 & 14) who both feel like God would have them enter the ministry, to see the blessings of the ministry instead of hearing me complain about the hardships.

If we keep everything in its proper place, it will usually work out okay.

[ January 01, 2003, 12:54 PM: Message edited by: Pastor Bob 63 ]

I always think of A.W. Tower when this subject is mentioned. He cared so much for his congregation, but often (reading acvounts from his wife and children) at the neglect of his family.