Pastors in adulterous relationships

[Reformed]

How does a pastor who is married to a divorced woman repent?

....and after he is removed from office, what kind a "church discipline" would you use? What would you have him do, divorce his wife?

That is a different question than what I responded to. The first part of the OP dealt with a pastor who is in active immorality. The only remedy for such a sin is removal from office a call to repentance. A pastor married to a divorced woman is potentially different. What were the circumstances surrounding his marriage to a divorced woman? There are so many variables they cannot all be listed here. But no, he should not divorce his wife. That would just compound the sin.

 

[McCree79]

That is a different question than what I responded to. The first part of the OP dealt with a pastor who is in active immorality. The only remedy for such a sin is removal from office a call to repentance. A pastor married to a divorced woman is potentially different. What were the circumstances surrounding his marriage to a divorced woman? There are so many variables they cannot all be listed here. But no, he should not divorce his wife. That would just compound the sin.

I believe he is referring to the Pastor who is married as the one who is unrepentant.

 

[revmwc]

Hello all,

I was wondering what everyone here thought of pastors who are in adulterous relationships? Should pastors who are in an openly, ongoing, unrepentant adulterous relationship be allowed to serve as pastor?

I know in town, there is a pastor at another Baptist church who is married to a divorced woman and I don't see how they can condone having him as a pastor.

Are we so backslidden as a culture that we ignore even Jesus' own words? Do we just care more about ease and comfort than God's word?

Well let me ask you this Jep. Should a pastor who does this be excluded?

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

He has committed adultry

Or how about this,

1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

This one virtually states the act itself makes two one flesh, so if he committed the act with anyone he had not had a marriage ceremony with he is still married to that one and if he gets married to another in a ceremony is he committing adultery?

Were Rebecca and Isaac living in an adulterous relationship not having had a ceremony?

Or was the divorce before she was saved or after. Where do you draw the line?

Also the original language says he should be a woman man that is dedicated to that one woman. So where would you draw the line?

 

[righteousdude2]

I'm sorry if I broke some sort of rule. I've been reading the board for some time and just felt strongly about this enough to finally post.

You need not apologize. Your question is a good one. The mixed response you initially received is just the way the folks around here use to greet one another in a spirit of love! However, I might warn you that the mods do not like human sexuality topics posted in this forum! So don't be surprised if this gets closed or moved!

Shalom, and welcome to the BB!

Pastor Paul

 

[righteousdude2]

Who says that being married to a divorced woman equals adultery? That's what we should be talking about, not the OPs intentions with his first post.

That is the real issue. How do we feel about divorced folks being remarried and in the ministry?

 

[padredurand]

If he was a former drug user the church would applaud his victory. If he was a former murderer they would cheer the transformation. Marry a divorced woman and we fire up the tar pots.

Divorce- the unforgivable sin. :tonofbricks:

 

[HeDied4U]

If he was a former drug user the church would applaud his victory. If he was a former murderer they would cheer the transformation. Marry a divorced woman and we fire up the tar pots.

Divorce- the unforgivable sin. :tonofbricks:

Ain't that the truth, for leaders and lay people.

 

[righteousdude2]

If he was a former drug user the church would applaud his victory. If he was a former murderer they would cheer the transformation. Marry a divorced woman and we fire up the tar pots.

Divorce- the unforgivable sin. :tonofbricks:

Great point. I can honestly say, that the God I serve can forgive any sin, accept blasphemy. As a person who made some early mistakes in life regarding marriage, I am remarried, and God has not only forgiven us, but what He put together in May 1980, He has kept it together. Plus He gave me a great ministry to His people. :godisgood:

 

[PreachTony]

I know of several churches that will withdraw fellowship from a current member who marries into adultery. They do not do so in a spirit of meanness, but rather they do so in order to withhold that person from any possible position of leadership in the church. They are still more than welcome to attend the church, they just have no voting rights within the church. Some people do not like this; they think it too harsh. Others have no qualms with for what they reveal are quite Biblical reasons.

Who says that being married to a divorced woman equals adultery? That's what we should be talking about, not the OPs intentions with his first post.

Luke's gospel (16:18) provides a pretty clear answer...

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

But is it a continuing sin, or a one-time sin?

I don't necessarily think that it matters if the sin is a one-time thing or if it continuing, as it is more so the effect of the sin. Consider David in 2 Samuel. When David lusted after, and thereby committed adultery with, Bathsheba, it lead him to indirectly murder Uriah, which led to Nathan the Prophet approaching the King and telling him that his son would die. David admitted to his sin and sought forgiveness. Nathan informed him that God had forgiven his sin, but that the consequence of his sin would follow him all of his days. The sword, violence, would never leave David's house. David's fall began through the sin of adultery. As a result, his house saw discord and violence for years. Would you really want to risk having someone in a position of leadership in your church who is practicing, or has practiced, the same sin that led to continual violence in the house of a man described as being after God's own heart?

Most people seem to think that if God forgives sin He also removes the consequence of that sin, but that is not Biblically true.

 

[McCree79]

I know of several churches that will withdraw fellowship from a current member who marries into adultery. They do not do so in a spirit of meanness, but rather they do so in order to withhold that person from any possible position of leadership in the church. They are still more than welcome to attend the church, they just have no voting rights within the church. Some people do not like this; they think it too harsh. Others have no qualms with for what they reveal are quite Biblical reasons.


Luke's gospel (16:18) provides a pretty clear answer...



I don't necessarily think that it matters if the sin is a one-time thing or if it continuing, as it is more so the effect of the sin. Consider David in 2 Samuel. When David lusted after, and thereby committed adultery with, Bathsheba, it lead him to indirectly murder Uriah, which led to Nathan the Prophet approaching the King and telling him that his son would die. David admitted to his sin and sought forgiveness. Nathan informed him that God had forgiven his sin, but that the consequence of his sin would follow him all of his days. The sword, violence, would never leave David's house. David's fall began through the sin of adultery. As a result, his house saw discord and violence for years. Would you really want to risk having someone in a position of leadership in your church who is practicing, or has practiced, the same sin that led to continual violence in the house of a man described as being after God's own heart?

Most people seem to think that if God forgives sin He also removes the consequence of that sin, but that is not Biblically true.

Valid points Tony. But do we apply the consequences of sin to our members for sin that is not on going. If God chooses so, that is one thing, but us????

What sins do we decide to remove voting rights? Remarriage, theft, getting drunk once, showing serve hatred towards another at one point, over eating at the buffets???

Matt 5:28
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

If we start remove voting rights for non lifestyle sins, not many men should be allowed to vote in church.

 

[McCree79]

If he was a former drug user the church would applaud his victory. If he was a former murderer they would cheer the transformation. Marry a divorced woman and we fire up the tar pots.

Divorce- the unforgivable sin. :tonofbricks:

Very true! Good post.

 

[PreachTony]

Valid points Tony. But do we apply the consequences of sin to our members for sin that is not on going. If God chooses so, that is one thing, but us????

The thing is, though, that we are not the ones holding the consequences of sin in place. Those consequences follow us.

What sins do we decide to remove voting rights? Remarriage, theft, getting drunk once, showing serve hatred towards another at one point, over eating at the buffets???

Matt 5:28
"But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

If we start remove voting rights for non lifestyle sins, not many men should be allowed to vote in church.

If there is a man who was a convicted child molester, but in prison converted and dedicated his life to Christ, and has shown no reason for anyone to doubt his conversion, would you allow him to have any sort of role in the church in which he was dealing with children?

I agree that tact must be exercised if you begin removing voting rights for certain sins. I'm not condoning or condemning these churches. I'm just saying that I can understand their reasoning.

 

[wpe3bql]

Just my $0.02:

If a man who was a formerly convicted child molester who sincerely repented of his former sins while in prison and is now released to the outside world, I'd be somewhat hesitant to assign him to a position in which he has continual, week-by-week close contact with children.

We have no real way of knowing that, given the above scenario, that in a moment of weakness he just might revert back to his former life style of abusing a child who is under his responsibility as an authority figure.

This is something I've seen happen in some cases.

Instead, I'd suggest he be directed to some other venue of service where he's not so likely to succumb to his former ways. Maybe working in some aspect of foreign missionary encouragement that can be done via the internet (Skype is a real god-send that wasn't available until the last few years.).

Or maybe working at a church-sponsored food bank or an inner city mens' Gospel rescue mission are other ways he could use the gifts God has given him.

These are just a few suggestions--there's plenty more that he could investigate & possibly find a venue in which God can bless him.

While I believe a local church should be a primary venue for Christian service, it isn't the only one that's out there for him.

Seeking God's specific direction for him, along with wise counsel of other Godly men, would be the path I'd recommend to him.

It worked for me in the past, and I believe it'd work for him today.

 

[revmwc]

I know of several churches that will withdraw fellowship from a current member who marries into adultery. They do not do so in a spirit of meanness, but rather they do so in order to withhold that person from any possible position of leadership in the church. They are still more than welcome to attend the church, they just have no voting rights within the church. Some people do not like this; they think it too harsh. Others have no qualms with for what they reveal are quite Biblical reasons.


Luke's gospel (16:18) provides a pretty clear answer...



I don't necessarily think that it matters if the sin is a one-time thing or if it continuing, as it is more so the effect of the sin. Consider David in 2 Samuel. When David lusted after, and thereby committed adultery with, Bathsheba, it lead him to indirectly murder Uriah, which led to Nathan the Prophet approaching the King and telling him that his son would die. David admitted to his sin and sought forgiveness. Nathan informed him that God had forgiven his sin, but that the consequence of his sin would follow him all of his days. The sword, violence, would never leave David's house. David's fall began through the sin of adultery. As a result, his house saw discord and violence for years. Would you really want to risk having someone in a position of leadership in your church who is practicing, or has practiced, the same sin that led to continual violence in the house of a man described as being after God's own heart?

Most people seem to think that if God forgives sin He also removes the consequence of that sin, but that is not Biblically true.

so let me ask this Tony, if a young unmarried man is getting to a young unmarried woman and they are members is the question ask about pre-marital relationships? Because if either has been with another this verse would apply,

1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh

Because in the eyes of God they became one flesh with that party, would that not be considered adultery in the biblical sense? Since having had pre-marital relations and that party became one flesh in God's eyes and therefore a second marriage is occurring. The first in man's eye's but the act itself in God's eyes constitutes a marriage. Do they "withdraw fellowship" in that case? does that disqualify a man from being a pastor or deacon?

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The very act constitutes a marriage according to scripture so how far should the adultery issue go? Shouldn't they ask these pertinent questions of all members who are getting married so they can "remove fellowship" from them?

 

[righteousdude2]

If a man who was a formerly convicted child molester who sincerely repented of his former sins while in prison and is now released to the outside world, I'd be somewhat hesitant to assign him to a position in which he has continual, week-by-week close contact with children.

Great point .... and while I am for forgiveness of those who have sinned, let me tell you that having worked in the field of child protective services, I tend to agree with all the professionals I have had the privilege of learning from, and that is, "Once a molester, always a molester!" Even though they have repented and straightened their life out, it is not wise to ever put them in a situation where they can fall, stumble and be tempted to the point of sinning again!

 

[plain_n_simple]

Great point .... and while I am for forgiveness of those who have sinned, let me tell you that having worked in the field of child protective services, I tend to agree with all the professionals I have had the privilege of learning from, and that is, "Once a molester, always a molester!" Even though they have repented and straightened their life out, it is not wise to ever put them in a situation where they can fall, stumble and be tempted to the point of sinning again!

Peter denied Jesus 3 times.

Soon after, Jesus forgave Peter and put him in charge of His sheep, and said it 3 times.

What you are really saying is once a sinner always a sinner.

You do not believe Christ has the ability to change the heart.

You receive wisdom from professional men instead of the redemptive power of the cross.

Try to focus on Jesus, not faithless men.

 

[Yeshua1]

Hello all,

I was wondering what everyone here thought of pastors who are in adulterous relationships? Should pastors who are in an openly, ongoing, unrepentant adulterous relationship be allowed to serve as pastor?

I know in town, there is a pastor at another Baptist church who is married to a divorced woman and I don't see how they can condone having him as a pastor.

Are we so backslidden as a culture that we ignore even Jesus' own words? Do we just care more about ease and comfort than God's word?

Has that divorced woman confessed and repented to the Lord of her prior marriage being torn asunder?
If she has had godly remorse, the their current marriage is under the grace of god, so why would this be an adultress situation ongoing then?

Now should the pastor had been allowed to stay on in that siuation would be based upon how the church saw "husband of one wife", but not as to this being an ongoing adultery!

 

[Yeshua1]

Peter denied Jesus 3 times.

Soon after, Jesus forgave Peter and put him in charge of His sheep, and said it 3 times.

What you are really saying is once a sinner always a sinner.

You do not believe Christ has the ability to change the heart.

You receive wisdom from professional men instead of the redemptive power of the cross.

Try to focus on Jesus, not faithless men.

The truth is that the power of the Holy Spirit is unlimited to do a change of a saved person, but also true that some sin issues are much harder to jave voctory over than others!

 

[agedman]

It is not a matter of "SIN" it is a matter of "ONE FLESH."

The fact is that sexual sin is not in the same category as any other sin.

All sin is from the outside, EXCEPT that of the sexual. THAT comes from within. That one sin must be considered of paramount importance, when the qualifications of elder leadership is being thought through by the local church.

It is not good that the typical modern church has become weaker and weaker on this question.

 

[revmwc]

It is not a matter of "SIN" it is a matter of "ONE FLESH."

The fact is that sexual sin is not in the same category as any other sin.

All sin is from the outside, EXCEPT that of the sexual. THAT comes from within. That one sin must be considered of paramount importance, when the qualifications of elder leadership is being thought through by the local church.

It is not good that the typical modern church has become weaker and weaker on this question.

Do you then take the stance that if the act was performed as a teenager and he is now married to a different woman who is his first wife. That is by a ceremony having been performed and a license issued. Would he be disqualified since according to the bible the act as a teenager made one flesh!