I believe Christians can become hostile towards one another when they are not completely engaged in God's work. This may be the difference with those men - although they disagreed about doctrine they shared a common goal and focus.I've noticed that there are a lot of similarities in the way Puritans like Bunyan, Owen and Watson describe LIVING the Christian life with Baxter and Wesley and even Menno and the Moravians. Jonathan Edwards mentions reading Thomas Kempis and Martyn Lloyd Jones spends a good portion of his book "The Puritans" praising Wesley and the Methodists in their way of life. I'm not sure what to make of that, it's just what I have noticed.
My church affirms Penal Substitution Theory. It is a wonderful church and I appreciate being a member. I taught at the church until I had to step down (I changed jobs and could not continue). My view is not an issue. We also have free-will people and Calvinists.
At the same time I know some who cannot discuss differences without becoming hostile. Some politely refrain and stick with their own camp while others attack other people for their views.
I think what we see with those you mention is spiritual maturity.