Pit Stop----the Saga continues

Did you advise her of her rights first, Padre?
MILs have the right to remain silent...but most don't have the ability. :laugh:

 

She had the right to shut up. She did not. She had the right to speak to someone who wanted to listen. Nobody at this address. She had the right to go home. Thank the Lord she exercised that right this morning.

 

I understand the disappointment. Do not give up hope, however. It will soon be flying bug season, sure as sunshine she'll come back and I have a can of new, never been used pepper spray.

"Them no-see-ums bothering you, MIL? Your favorite SIL has some very special bug spray..... "

 

And don't forget the jewelry Padre. Every MIL loves jewelry. No doubt she's heard of the seven rings of Saturn, but has she heard of the two rings of Huntsville? They not only encircle the wrists but also have a handy chain attached to both rings so she won't lose them. And best of all they open and close with a key so she can have an exact fit.


You also could be a good SIL and take her to some bars. Specifically the grey kind that cover windows and doors. Being the kind attentive SIL we know you are you'll also want to get her the ultra-special electric bars too. The kind that makes her hair stand on end, sizzle and smoke will make her the happiest.


Ahhh the things we do for the in-laws we love...er, like..., er tolerate..., er pity.

Some people brighten a room by entering it, but MILs can brighten a room like a 500 watt bulb just be leaving it,and forgetting the way back.

 

Why make it sound like I can only use one? Leave nothing to chance. I'd add swim lessons from inside a burlap sack but the creek is still frozen over.

 

Duck tape for the hole only? I was thinking for the entire head.

Speaking of leaving nothing to chance, do you fellas have the following supplies on hand for when the old battleaxe kicks off?

1 wooden stake
1 clove of garlic
1 silver bullet

Make sure you have those supplies on hand. You can never be too careful.

BTW, the practice of throwing a bucket of water on your MIL to make her melt, popularized in The Wizard of Oz, is a myth. Totally busted.

 

No wonder she'd get so mad! I'd scream at her yelling, "Melt! Melt!" and she'd just huff and puff her way into a hissy fit.

Before I get too critical of my MIL I should walk a mile in her shoes. That way I'd be a mile away and I'd have her shoes!

 

I love it in the summer when my MIL stands close to the bug zapper and gets her first treatment of "Redneck Botox."

Yessir those blue-white sparks and that delicate ZZZZAPPPPP!!! mean that her face [and mouth] won't be moving for awhile, not to mention the impact marks on the pasty dough that she calls her skin.

 

I don't want anybody to think that I don't feel a little bit of affection for my dear MIL though.

Last fall I bought her a brand new brown and gray fleece coat, and introduced her to the pure joy of walking in the woods nearby to commune with nature.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT that I forgot it was Firearm Dear Season. See, I do care for my deer MIL.

 

Never fear all you MIL fans Palatka51 is here. And he has come to defend all MILs.
All who feel that their mother has been maligned in any way please submit a PM to Palatka51 and request a food hit. Rest assured I have come loaded for bear and have food will travel.
The unsuspecting target will never know what hit them.

 

Ain't quite bear season, yet. Now iffen you can hold that though past trout season (April if the ice is off the creek), spring turkey (also known as May), Large Mouth Bass (easily confused with MIL but much more enjoyable), Duck (aka September) Fall Turkey (along with early archery, called October by some)......

See it's almost bear season.....

 

In Michigan it's against the law to "shine" deer, like using your headlights to find the deer at night, however; it could also mean the light shinin' off your MIL's head to blind the deer. No wonder we have the term 'deer in the headlights" look.

 

Now that the Bird of Baton Rouge - the Gentleman of Red Stick - has slammed on the brakes of a food fight.... We return you to our regular programming....

...Take my MIL for instance....please!

I have noticed that cats have gone unnoticed since the departure of Miss Scarlett :tear: . In noticing the unnoticing I have concluded that cats and MIL are interchangeable. :thumbs: I'm thinking that cats may come out ahead in the comparison. I could probably get use to having a cat in the house. The MIL? BTW her name is Barb. Figures she'd be named after something that pierces through and gets under your skin and won't come back out without a whole lotta pain and bloodletting!