Please help me Understand

Well if they tried to destroy a marrage, there's a problem! I beleive vows made before God aren't to be broken!
Don't clasify all IFB's by one thing. My church is IFB, and we have a dear family in our church, were the man is from Mexico and his wife is white. Would we try to break up the vows they made before God? NO! And we love them dearly. They've got more zeal for serving God than a lot of people I know!
I hope you find a good church with sound Bible teaching and a loving atmostphere.
As for the comments on Dr. Hyles, I never knew the man personaly. I've not as yet heard any of his sermons {although I hope to!} so I don't know much about him. But I've read a book by one of his church members which was absolutly excellent, and just this week a preacher from his church preached a revial service for us. And this fellow is one great preacher! Oh btw, he had some things to say about his late pastor. How when he first started the ministry Dr Hyles helped him in any way he could including giving them a place to live for free and two cars {the second one came after the first gave out} when they had no way to have their own. I remember one other time he came he talked about his pastor and the many acts of kindness bestowed on him that he cried.
Now from the things I've heard so far about this preacher he seems to be a fine person.
Besides who are we to accuse a man of things when he's no longer alive to give answer?
~Miss Abby
Proverbs 31:30

 

Laura there are different ethnicities but one race, human created in the image of God. In Christ there is no male no female no jew no gentile. When people talk race it divides because people tend to get proud and think they are superior. I've been told I was in sin being married to a black person. Have you been told that because you are Italian and your husband is Sweedish?

 

Abby that is good.

As for a church telling people they are in sin being married to someone because of their "race" I don't know what to say. Should we divorce our spouse? I ask the man that told me I was in sin being maried to a black person. I ask him, should I divorce him? He said "OH NO!" So I guess that means I should continue in my sin according to him.

 

Elnora.

I know what you are saying, but I was stressing a point. No I have not been told I was wrong for marrying a Swedish Decendant. I was told not to marry outside my race though. But Swedish is outside my race if you want to look at it in that way.

But like I said, I was only trying to make a point, I don't want to start a race issue here. Been there and done that, no thank you maam!

 

Me either Laura, that is exactly what I am trying to point out there aren't different races. I hate the word race because of that. We are all created in God's image period. No one person is better than another and by trying to seperate by "race" does only that. God bless you.

 

Terry,

Yes, I think God does command us to obey our parents even in the process of choosing a mate. What is my evidence?

Colossians 3:20
"Children, obey your parents in all things. For this is well pleasing unto the Lord."

Ephesians 6:2-3
"Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth."

And the words "children" in these verses does not mean little children.

Biblically, children are no longer under the direct authority of their parents after marriage, as in the verse alluded to by Joseph...

Gen. 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

...or at the time appointed by the father, Gal. 4:2.

Jesus did not begin His earthly ministry until His mother gave the OK, John 2:1-5.

Now to those who think their exceptions are evidence to the contrary: What are three or a hundred exceptions on a site with thousands of members?

You all say you've been married 30 years or more. So? I didn't say you would end up in divorce (though I have no doubt the Western "custom" of dating directly contributes to the high divorce rate), I just said I have not talked to anyone who married against their parents wishes who did not have marital problems, and I'm not just talking about the normal "adjustments" one must make.

Now, this is the last I will say on the subject. The Word of God is my evidence, and so far my experiences bear it out.

 

Aaron,

How do you know what the word Children means? Perhaps you can enlighten us on the Hebrew and Greek? Also you did not deal with the words of Jesus when he talks about turning children against their parents because of the Word of God.

Joseph Botwinick

 

In Proverbs it speaks a great deal on listening to your father's instructions....listne to your mother's teachings.

In a godly home where both parent's are believers and they are not asking you to sin,then it is wise to have their approval and help in finding a godly mate.

If the parents are not believers and are prejudice,they are being sinful...I don't think this means you are not to obey them,still honor them as your paretns and hear what they say. God gives us the perfect parents for us,to make us more like Him through their guidance.

Molly

Great posts so far!

 

If at all.

 

I looked it up.

Nah, anyone online has immediate access to Greek and Hebrew dictionaries. Y'all can look it up yourselves.

I'm not going to deal with every trifling argument. Why is it that we are always looking for legitimate ways not to honor father and mother? Sounds "corban" to me.

Nothing in the Scriptures releases a child from obeying his parents just because his parents aren't Christians.

Truth be told, there are very, very few instances where one has to disobey his parents to be faithful to Christ.

 

Aaron,

Which Hebrew lexicon did you use to look it up. Just cite a source and I will try to find it myself.

Joseph Botwinick

 

ur2

From your post I can see that you talked to someone who told you that mixed marriages are the reason, but that it wasn't the IFB church that told you this. Before you worry yourself to death, I'd talk to the pastor of the church that you will be attending. I don't believe that a marriage union will be forced to seperate because of this issue. What denomination are you from? You may find other issues more of a problem than the mixed marriage issue. If they have a Hyles background, you may not care for their stands in separation, or other issues like that.

 

Joseph,

I just looked up the Greek word for children in the passages I quoted.

Any Greek dictionary will do.

Knock yourself out.

 

The word used in both verses in Greek is Teknon.

Strongs Greek Dictionary defines this as "child, daughter, son". It also points out that it is from the base of tikto, which is translated as "bear, be born, bring forth, be delivered, be in travail" (Strongs numbers 5043 and 5088).

Sounds to me like the Greek words might be implying that it is referring to children, sons and daughters who are young seeing as it is based on the word tikto.

Perhaps Vines can shed some light on this and clarify.

TEKNON: "a child (akin to tikto, to beget, bear), is used in both the natural and the figurative sense" (Vines, p. 189).

Well, there are two different Greek scholars who seem to disagree with what you presented. They don't seem to be saying that children here is an adult child. I would, therefore, ask you again to cite the source that you used for your definition of the word since any Greek lexicon doesn't seem to say the same thing you are. Perhaps if you cite your source, I could look it up and see where you are coming from.

Joseph Botwinick

 

Molly I have to disagree with you on this. If I took my mothers advise I would have been dating at 15 a 33 year old man who was divorced with three kids who were in fostercare. They were put there because the wife had left him and the kids.

They were eating out of garbage cans they were malnourished and the third baby had been beaten by him so badly that she has permanent hearing and vision problems and is mentally handicapped. I am still in contact with the oldest and she had to have surgery on her nose so she can breathe properly. He smashed it punching her in the face. Thank God I didn't take her advise and date him.

To have an unbelieving parent that is prejudice was the least of my worries. It may be easy for people to say you need to obey your parents if you had caring parents to begin with.

 

Joseph,

Compare that word with the words used for "little children." The lexicons don't disagree, I just know how to read. There's nothing even in the blurbs you've quoted to refute me. The Scriptural examples I gave also support my stand. I didn't just think this up you know. I have a sin nature that loathes to obey parents just as much as anyone else. If I could have my way I would be saying what you and most others who've replied have said. My statements are based on what I've learned from the Scriptures.

Besides, the commandment is simply, "Honor thy father and thy mother," with no mention of any qualifying age.

 

There is too. You just don't want to recognize it, Tevyia, oops...I mean Aaron...

Since the word is derived from the root "tikto", it does give it the understanding of a young child. If you have information about this word from another source, I wish you would cite it. Do you even own a Greek lexicon? Just cite your source and then I can actually see where you are coming from. Ok?

The Scriptural examples I gave also support my stand.[/QUOTE]

This may very well be true. But at this point you have not shown that to be true. You make declarations about the Greek word, then you will not cite your source. Then when someone does look up the Greek word, it doesn't support your understanding. Then you come back with this "since I said it, it must be true" logic. If you would just cite a source, then perhaps we could get a little bit better idea where you are coming from. But, so far, your arguments seem to be not from the Bible and not very logical, but based on experience (which I have no real problem with) of what is usually better for us. The only problems I have with experience as a guide for how to live is:

1. They are not Scriptural and therefore should not be held as authoritative or direct demands from God himself.

2. They cannot be generalized for the population as a whole. What worked for you may very well be disastrous for many others, as is evidenced by the many horror stories already shared with you about the will of parents in relation to dating.

Besides, the commandment is simply, "Honor thy father and thy mother," with no mention of any qualifying age.

[/QUOTE]

So, by that logic, even though my wife is now married to me, should she therefore obey her mother above me and my authority as the husband and head of the household? Doesn't, once a gain, the Bible say something about leave and cleave?

Joseph Botwinick

 

OH NO! My wife and I married against the wishes of both her parents.

That was 38 years ago (and 11 chidren later).

Will we make it?



HankD

 

Okay, Joseph.

http://www.blueletterbible.org/tmp_dir/words/1060449185-262.html

Now, if you click on the "more" link under Thayer's you will get his entire exposition of the word.

You will see nothing that limits the term to young or little children. It is used for anyone who was born of woman, young or old.

I've already answered your "leave and cleave" objections.