Prom Season

[Salty]

Prom Season is now upon us.

Will your teenagers be attending a prom - ie your own kids or the kids from your church.
If not, why not?

Does your church encourage or discourage such an event?

 

[Baptist Believer]

Will your teenagers be attending a prom

I have no children, but many teens from our church will be attending proms.

I also attended a prom back in the day.

 

[rlvaughn]

Will your teenagers be attending a prom -
If not, why not?

1. No.
2. Because I don't have any.

I'll come back and say something about our local proms, but not right now since it may distract from your basic question.

 

[Salty]

1. No.
2. Because I don't have any.

I'll come back and say something about our local proms, but not right now since it may distract from your basic question.

RL - I just edited the OP

 

[rlvaughn]

Salty, I would say that as a church we neither encourage nor discourage such an event, but leave it to the discretion of the parents. I personally hardly ever think about it, but if asked I would not encourage the idea or attendance.

Since others have not commented further, I'll go ahead and mention an extra problem with the direction of the prom in one of our local schools (beyond the "to dance or not to dance" factor).

In the spring of 2016, when Ries wanted to bring a girl to the prom, she says she was told that she could either “attend ‘stag’ or attend with a date of the opposite sex.” After the ACLU of Texas wrote a letter to __________ School District that September, the school canceled senior prom altogether, as local news outlet KTRE reported at the time.

The district superintendent told KTRE that the event would “now be in the hands of parents to decide if they would like to plan something,” citing “increased pressure and liabilities and potential litigation.”

 

[Pastor_Bob]

Can someone explain was goes on at a prom? How does one get invited to the prom? What do the unpopular kids do? What are the expectations for a couple who goes to the prom? After the prom?
What kind of music is being played at the prom? What supervision is typically at the prom?

I've never been to a prom (attended Christian school grades 11-12). We homeschooled our kids so prom was never an issue in our home.

 

[Reynolds]

Can someone explain was goes on at a prom? How does one get invited to the prom? What do the unpopular kids do? What are the expectations for a couple who goes to the prom? After the prom?
What kind of music is being played at the prom? What supervision is typically at the prom?

I've never been to a prom (attended Christian school grades 11-12). We homeschooled our kids so prom was never an issue in our home.

I was in charge of the security detail for many years for the prom in the city I worked.
Basically (just being honest) the rules were anything you can do with your clothes on is OK on the dance floor. No alcohol in the prom. Save the drinking and fornication for the party after the prom that will be on private property and free of supervision.

 

[Baptist Believer]

Does your church encourage or discourage such an event?

We take no position on proms. Why should we?

From time to time, the youth has dance events at church or at camp.

 

[Baptist Believer]

Can someone explain was goes on at a prom?

Socializing, sometimes food, and dancing.

How does one get invited to the prom?

Usually someone asks another (traditionally the guys take the initiative) or you go stag.

What do the unpopular kids do?

Whatever unpopular kids do about or at other social events.

What are the expectations for a couple who goes to the prom? After the prom?

It depends upon one's character. It you are a virtuous person, then virtuous things. If you are not, there's no telling.

What kind of music is being played at the prom?

Usually popular music that has a decent 4/4 beat.

What supervision is typically at the prom?

Often school leadership, parents, teachers, school security and/or police officers.

I've never been to a prom (attended Christian school grades 11-12). We homeschooled our kids so prom was never an issue in our home.

I don't really care for them since I am rhythmically challenged. If I had been a competent dancer, then I would have enjoyed it more.

 

[Jordan Kurecki]

Can someone explain was goes on at a prom? How does one get invited to the prom? What do the unpopular kids do? What are the expectations for a couple who goes to the prom? After the prom?
What kind of music is being played at the prom? What supervision is typically at the prom?

I've never been to a prom (attended Christian school grades 11-12). We homeschooled our kids so prom was never an issue in our home.

Proms are mostly filled with worldly sensual carnality. the music typically is all worldly sensual pop music. the dancing tends to be very sensual as well. Not sure why anyone virtuous would want to go to a high school prom. I suppose at prom there are some kids who go and hang out with their friends and avoid the dancing.

 

[Scarlett O.]

The school that I retired from and am now on the Board of recently had their junior/senior prom. It's a public school with about 950 kids K-12. About 125-140 students were there.

I didn't get to attend the prom with them, but about 20 teachers and the principal and his wife attend. Of course, parents pasted pictures all over Facebook. I felt that 99% of the gowns the girls were were absolutely beautiful. Only one I saw was too tight.

My principal called me the next day and said that the photographer said that our kids were so well-mannered and polite. She said would gladly come back to our school's prom.

There was dancing, pictures made, refreshments, and mostly socializing.

It was open to juniors/seniors only and their dates. Many students went without a date. Yes, they still call it going "stag". Others, of course, had dates. Some went as friends. They could bring a junior/senior of another school or older person under 20, but there was a lot of paperwork, investigating the background of, and obtaining parental permission/knowledge of before those dates could be approved.

The success or failure of a prom of any school all depends on the administration. The administration sets the rules and if student choose not to follow, they are out. If the administration doesn't set any ground rules or if there are not enough competent chaperones, then chaos can occur.

I don't believe in throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

 

[Pastor_Bob]

We take no position on proms. Why should we?

Because as parents, pastors, and leaders in general, our responsibility is to warn of potential danger. If someone cannot see the "potential" danger in prom, then they simply aren't paying attention. Having been a youth pastor for the first 20+ years of my ministry, I can tell you story after story where "good" young people made horrible decisions just because it was their senior prom.

Sure, there may be exceptions; but, over all, they are as Jordan described above.

Ezekiel 33:1 Again the word of the LORD came unto me, saying,
2 Son of man, speak to the children of thy people, and say unto them, When I bring the sword upon a land, if the people of the land take a man of their coasts, and set him for their watchman:
3 If when he seeth the sword come upon the land, he blow the trumpet, and warn the people;
4 Then whosoever heareth the sound of the trumpet, and taketh not warning; if the sword come, and take him away, his blood shall be upon his own head.
5 He heard the sound of the trumpet, and took not warning; his blood shall be upon him. But he that taketh warning shall deliver his soul.
6 But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman's hand.

 

[Baptist Believer]

Because as parents, pastors, and leaders in general, our responsibility is to warn of potential danger.

There is potential danger every day, everywhere.

We are training youth to be disciples of Jesus, ready to handle anything they come across.

If someone cannot see the "potential" danger in prom, then they simply aren't paying attention.

Not any more danger than any other event.

Having been a youth pastor for the first 20+ years of my ministry, I can tell you story after story where "good" young people made horrible decisions just because it was their senior prom.

Young people who have a faith that trains them to be righteous in all areas of their life are unlikely to make decisions outside of their character during temptation.

When a church moves from a "do not sin" focus, to a "have a transformed character so you don't want to sin" focus, we can trust people to live morally without the church leadership trying to make decisions for everyone regarding opportunities for temptation..

 

[Pastor_Bob]

There is potential danger every day, everywhere.

Exactly. That is why we must constantly warn.

We are training youth to be disciples of Jesus, ready to handle anything they come across.

What does that training include? Proverbs 1:10? Ephesians 5:11?

Not any more danger than any other event.

I took our teens to hear Handel's Messiah last Christmas. Prom was no more dangerous than Handel's Messiah?

Young people who have a faith that trains them to be righteous in all areas of their life are unlikely to make decisions outside of their character during temptation.

I'm afraid David, a man after God's own heart, would disagree with that assessment. Samson would most certainly disagree with that. Solomon surely would as well.
Nehemiah 13:26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless EVEN HIM did outlandish women cause to sin.

When a church moves from a "do not sin" focus, to a "have a transformed character so you don't want to sin" focus, we can trust people to live morally without the church leadership trying to make decisions for everyone regarding opportunities for temptation..

You mistake warning with making decisions for others. There is a big difference. For what it's worth, the Bible has a pretty significant "do not sin" focus.

 

[Baptist Believer]

What does that training include? Proverbs 1:10? Ephesians 5:11?

It is training in the spiritual disciplines: prayer, fasting, scripture memorization, silence, community, feasting, celebration, etc.

I took our teens to hear Handel's Messiah last Christmas. Prom was no more dangerous than Handel's Messiah?

One can easily sin at a classical music concert. Sin begins in the mind.

I'm afraid David, a man after God's own heart, would disagree with that assessment. Samson would most certainly disagree with that. Solomon surely would as well.

Neither David nor Samson had the indwelling Holy Spirit. Moreover, both of their characters were severely compromised, especially in terms of their dealings with women. They treated women quite poorly and tended to be "on the make."

You mistake warning with making decisions for others. There is a big difference.

Perhaps I have misunderstood you. I had assumed that you were telling teens not to attend prom and to abide by a code of conduct designed to avoid every temptation of sin:

...Why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!”? These rules, which have to do with things that are all destined to perish with use, are based on merely human commands and teachings. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence. -- Colossians 2:20b-23​

For what it's worth, the Bible has a pretty significant "do not sin" focus.

Sure, but the secret to not sinning is NOT by merely exercising the will, but by training oneself in the ways and life of Christ in active discipleship to Him. The use of spiritual disciplines helps us cooperate with the grace of God to experience freedom from sin.