"Rejoicing in God"

[Earth Wind and Fire]

Lord, Let Me Die: Mercy for Those Tired of Living

Some walk through the valley of the shadow of death and long to just lie down. How does God respond to those who pray for life to end?

www.desiringgod.org

I’m very tired of living these days without my wife.

I found this on line. It doesn’t address my pain nearly enough… I’ve been thinking of sucide

 

[Ascetic X]

@ Earth Wind and Fire — 21 years of life with my wife were spent in a paradise of bliss. She made my life wonderful in every way. I had nothing to worry about and lots of fun and companionship to look forward to each day.

Now all that is gone, never to return in this life. My wife died 15 months ago. I hate being a widower. My wife was everything I needed. My whole world revolved around her. Without my sweet, spiritually deep wife, my life is an empty loveless nightmare. I have no joy, no purpose, no one to talk to, no one to be with, nothing to do, no reason to be alive.

But God keeps me alive, as He is also keeping you alive.

Life seems so miserable now, but many people have much worse lives. I briefly looked at a few videos on YouTube of individuals who were severely crippled or damaged. Could not bear to watch the entire videos, but what I saw made me pray for them and feel somewhat better about my own plight.

All I can say, and it may not provide any comfort, is that we must appreciate our blessings that remain (home, health, car, furniture, food, books, bank account, etc.) and try to find something to do, while being grateful for the time we had with our beloved wives.

I can focus on my loss and drown in the quicksand of self-pity. Or I can experience the grieving, while also being increasingly thankful for 21 years of marital bliss. I remind myself that many men never get married, or never have a wife as full of goodness as mine. If I ever wonder if God loves me, I can think about how He blessed me with her. A woman I did not deserve. A woman I will be re-united with some day.

Thanks for that John Piper / Desiring God link. It is good to know that great saints of God grew frustrated and weary with being alive.

 

[Ascetic X]

Lord, Let Me Die: Mercy for Those Tired of Living

Some walk through the valley of the shadow of death and long to just lie down. How does God respond to those who pray for life to end?

www.desiringgod.org

I’m very tired of living these days without my wife.

I found this on line. It doesn’t address my pain nearly enough… I’ve been thinking of sucide

The fact that you’re tired of living these days without your wife is a mighty testimony to how much you loved and enjoyed each other!

What do you miss most about her?

I miss my wife’s voice, smile, laughter, and her sweet, peculiar mannerisms, quirks, and expressions.

If I talked too much, she would say “Shoish!’

She often would hum or sing quietly as she moved from room to room.

She would crinkle her nose when she disagreed with something I said.

She loved to listen to Christian radio sermons at night in bed.

She was a good mommy to our dogs.

She was a super industrious, hard worker, right up until she could no longer get out of bed,

She declared “God is in control” a few days before she transitioned to Heaven.

After she died, I found a notebook of prayers she had written before we were married. She was praying for a husband who “will put Jesus first and me second.” She promised God she would do her husband good and not evil all the days of her life.

I read many other such things in her book of prayers. It breaks my heart all over again. What a holy lady I was given!

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I was blessed with a beautiful hard working farm girl who loved animals and was a champion equestrian in these parts. At one time we had 5 rescue dogs… some blind, some mistreated others wandering the streets and we took them all in. We also have chickens and my son built the coop. Above all, she always made me laugh and her goal was to be joyful. My house and my heart is empty without her.

 

[Tea]

I’ve been thinking of sucide

What relief do you think suicide would bring you? If you haven’t abandoned your faith yet, you must still believe that you’ll be reunited with her one day, right?

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

What relief do you think suicide would bring you? If you haven’t abandoned your faith yet, you must still believe that you’ll be reunited with her one day, right?

It takes the pain away & the loneliness. What other purpose would it have?

 

[Tea]

It takes the pain away & the loneliness. What other purpose would it have?

But that’s not the end of your soul. What about your son/daughters?

 

[Ascetic X]

It takes the pain away & the loneliness. What other purpose would it have?

Again, my remarks may not be comforting or chase the gloom away.

But what I try to do is take the 21 years of sweetness that my deceased wife put into my soul, and transmit that sweetness to others. Being a hermit pretty much, my lack of human interactions limits my opportunities to bless anyone. So my efforts at benevolence manifests primarily as intercessory prayer.

I treat my brother to lunch or dinner at a restaurant sometimes.

I attended 4 cycles of the 13 week program at Grief Share and met some nice people, but I feel no longer like grieving with others now. Books and YouTube videos on grieving the death of a spouse have been helpful. Grief Share is a really good faith-based program that can help you for a while.

Like you, I don’t know how to be a single, unmarried man. I hate being a widower. My future seems totally empty, bleak, meaningless. But somehow, I am going to strengthen my faith and become a better Christian man, no matter how miserable and pointless my life seems now.

 

[Scarlett O.]

Lord, Let Me Die: Mercy for Those Tired of Living

Some walk through the valley of the shadow of death and long to just lie down. How does God respond to those who pray for life to end?

www.desiringgod.org

I’m very tired of living these days without my wife.

I found this on line. It doesn’t address my pain nearly enough… I’ve been thinking of sucide

EWF, I had no idea that you lost your wife. I am very sorry. I have NO idea what it is like to lose a spouse.

But I DO know what contemplating suicide is like. I've been at that point twice in my life and God wouldn't let me do it.

I'm begging you. Slow down. Seek God for an answer. 988 [like 911] is the suicide hotline. Call it.

I'll be praying for you.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

But that’s not the end of your soul. What about your son/daughters?

My grandchildren lost both their grandmothers within 2 weeks… both to breast cancer.

 

[Tea]

My grandchildren lost both their grandmothers within 2 weeks… both to breast cancer.

This had me thinking about that movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” where Jimmy Stewart’s character wishes he’d never been born. He is given a glimpse of what that world looks like and realizes everybody else is worse off without him.

I’m sure there are a few people around that would be devastated if you left this world. You wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what you’re going through, right?

I found this post you made describing your testimony, and just look how far you’ve come. Nah, you’re too tough to go out like that.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

This had me thinking about that movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” where Jimmy Stewart’s character wishes he’d never been born. He is given a glimpse of what that world looks like and realizes everybody else is worse off without him.

I’m sure there are a few people around that would be devastated if you left this world. You wouldn’t want anyone else to go through what you’re going through, right?

I found this post you made describing your testimony, and just look how far you’ve come. Nah, you’re too tough to go out like that.

Yea, there are allot of pills laying around here … however my purpose has not been realized as of yet. God has, for whatever reason only known to him, preserved me… ME, to walk in this world. I don’t know… however my dog and the chickens in the coop need me … so there you have it. But I haven’t any allegiances anymore so I’m free so to speak to make my own decisions.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I also believe that the soul lives on (without the body) for an interim period of time and will rejoin the body during Christ’s return…so I desire that return ASAP to be rejoined with her and my infant daughter and the rest of my family. That would be pure joy!