Remarriage: A Healing Gift of God?

[evangelist6589]

Strange why Piper would have recommended the book if this UMC church is heretical.

[1] For example, on the side of leniency toward remarriage there is Larry Richards, Remarriage: A Healing Gift from God (Waco: Word Books, 1981); and on the more rigorous side there is J. Carl Laney, The Divorce Myth(Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1981); and Geoffrey W. Bromiley, God and Marriage (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1980).

 

[JonC]

I sent the church an email to find out what they believe. It is possible they do not hold to progressive theology being located in a conservative state.

You don't need to:
Basics of Our Faith - The United Methodist Church

What you are seeking is pastoral. I strongly suggest that you arrange a meeting with your own pastor and discuss it with him. I think it will benefit you more than adopting little beliefs from different denominations, churches, and pastors. What you will end up with is a belief system that does not fit with any church.

 

[JonC]

Strange why Piper would have recommended the book if this UMC church is heretical.

[1] For example, on the side of leniency toward remarriage there is Larry Richards, Remarriage: A Healing Gift from God (Waco: Word Books, 1981); and on the more rigorous side there is J. Carl Laney, The Divorce Myth(Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1981); and Geoffrey W. Bromiley, God and Marriage (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1980).

There is a difference between recommending the book and referencing the book as it relates to the topic. But that's neither here nor there. I think the problem is that you are not really looking to find out what the Bible says as much as you are hoping someone will interpret it in such a way that removes a need for repentance for what you've already confessed is a sin.

For an example of referencing books by other denominations, I really do like Gordon Fee's books on hermeneutics. Fee is Pentecostal. But what you are looking for is pastoral.

 

[tyndale1946]

You don't need to:
Basics of Our Faith - The United Methodist Church

What you are seeking is pastoral. I strongly suggest that you arrange a meeting with your own pastor and discuss it with him. I think it will benefit you more than adopting little beliefs from different denominations, churches, and pastors. What you will end up with is a belief system that does not fit with any church.

First of all let me issue a disclaimer... There is NO perfect marriage... Marriage is two sided... If you have a one sided marriage something is wrong... Now to my story!
After watching my wife die of cancer and letting her go after 30 years of marriage I met another believer... I wanted a wife who already was one, not one that needed to be converted to be one... That is who I am and I wanted the same.
I wasn't looking to be married again but was just looking for someone to talk to... So I joined a Christian website... The 2nd woman I talked to, her and I just clicked... We talked for over 4 hours... She lived only 100 miles away so there were also visitation and during those conversations and visitation I found out she was divorced... In fact she had been divorced over 10 years... Her husband was in an adulterous affair while they were married and married the one he was in the adulterous affair with... So she was looking to be remarried again... One year after we met, we tied the knot and we have been married now over 13 years... No remarriage is the same but to me if certain boundaries are crossed there is merit in being remarried... What recourse does any one have after all the biblical steps have been followed to save the marriage have failed?... These are my thoughts... What are yours?... Brother Glen

 

[JonC]

First of all let me issue a disclaimer... There is NO perfect marriage... Marriage is two sided... If you have a one sided marriage something is wrong... Now to my story!
After watching my wife die of cancer and letting her go after 30 years of marriage I met another believer... I wanted a wife who already was one, not one that needed to be converted to be one... That is who I am and I wanted the same.
I wasn't looking to be married again but was just looking for someone to talk to... So I joined a Christian website... The 2nd woman I talked to her and I just clicked... We talked for over 4 hours... She lived only 100 miles away so there were also visitation and during those conversations and visitation I found out she was divorced... In fact she had been divorced over 10 years... Her husband was in an adulterous affair while they were married and married the one he was in the adulterous affair with... So she was looking to be remarried again... One year after we met, we tied the knot and we have been married now over 13 years... No remarriage is the same but to me if certain boundaries are crossed there is merit in being remarried... What recourse does any one have after all the biblical steps have been followed to save the marriage have failed?... These are my thoughts... What are yours?... Brother Glen

I believe that a widow/widower is a simple example while divorce may be more complicated. I believe that divorce is not the "unforgivable sin". And you are right that no marriage is perfect and no remarriage is the same.

I think that Paul's words emphasize the role of the believer. Yes, the marriage may fail. But it is not the believer's role to abandon the marriage (with the possibility of those three exceptions Piper mentions - abandonment, dangerous abuse, and fornication).

The key, I believe, to remarriage is repentance. I believe that a divorced man can remarry and have God bless that marriage. One of my friends (one who passed away a couple of years ago) was the most godly man I have had the honor of knowing. He was also divorced. What is different from what I see on this thread is that my friend was repentant. He was open and candid about his divorce - and he took responsibility. He was open to his second wife about the marriage, about his failures in that marriage, ect. He was active in witnessing to his ex-wife and her husband, and sincerely desired to see both come to God. He recognized the damage the divorce did to his family and he was sorrowful about the consequences of his sin. Yet he was comforted by God and his gift of a second chance.

 

[blessedwife318]

Strange why Piper would have recommended the book if this UMC church is heretical.

[1] For example, on the side of leniency toward remarriage there is Larry Richards, Remarriage: A Healing Gift from God (Waco: Word Books, 1981); and on the more rigorous side there is J. Carl Laney, The Divorce Myth(Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1981); and Geoffrey W. Bromiley, God and Marriage (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1980).

That is called a citation, not a recommendation. Anyone who has ever written a paper at a college level knows about citing their sources, and you don't always have to agree with the source you are quoting. When I wrote a paper on Mormonism, I quoted from the Book or Mormon and that made it into my works cited page. It was not a recommendation of the book in any way shape or form. This kind of dishonesty on full display is another thing that needs to be repented of.

 

[Deacon]

Ordered a copy of the book by this name on eBay and await to read it.

I ordered a (used) book that you mentioned earlier by Keener.
I've been busy reading books on the Gospel of Matthew recently and will be teaching it come October.
The book deals with topics that are sure to interest people in the class.
Keep working through your issues John.

God is faithful. Be like God.

Rob

 

[InTheLight]

Explain..

"Ala carte" means to order individual items on a menu. Thus, "ala carte theology" means to pick and choose individual things that pleases you.

 

[Reynolds]

Ordered a copy of the book by this name on eBay and await to read it. But also came across another article.

A Statement on Divorce & Remarriage in the Life of Bethlehem Baptist Church | Desiring God

The Guidelines
1. A believer and unbeliever should not marry (1 Cor. 7:39; 2 Cor. 6:14-15).

2. Since death breaks the marriage bond (Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor. 7:39), remarriage is permissible without sin for a believing widow or widower, if the marriage is with another believer.

3. Divorce may be permitted when a spouse deserts the relationship, commits adultery, or is dangerously abusive (1 Cor. 7:15; Matthew 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:11). [7] We are not here dealing with remarriage (see #4 and #5). We simply acknowledge that there are times when the Bible permits separation.

So even Piper when he wrote this article in 1989 acknowledges that divorce can be permissible for abuse. This is CONTRARY to what most of you believe. So explain yourself. Why are you right and why is Piper and Larry Richards wrong?

You must love controversy. Why do you care what anyone on here thinks? I have only been posting here a short while and have figured out your mind is like concrete, well mixed and firmly set. When I first got here, I felt sorry for you. I now think you thrive on confrontation.

 

[evangelist6589]

You must love controversy. Why do you care what anyone on here thinks? I have only been posting here a short while and have figured out your mind is like concrete, well mixed and firmly set. When I first got here, I felt sorry for you. I now think you thrive on confrontation.

This is a debate board. You can't handle it then you know the door.

 

[evangelist6589]

I ordered a (used) book that you mentioned earlier by Keener.
I've been busy reading books on the Gospel of Matthew recently and will be teaching it come October.
The book deals with topics that are sure to interest people in the class.
Keep working through your issues John.

God is faithful. Be like God.

Rob

Thanks Brother. I await to read it. Been out witnessing and got cussed at once and a person tell me she was saved yet really wants weed to the point of begging for it on the sidewalk. She got offended when I used the law to confront her sin.

 

[blessedwife318]

Thanks Brother. I await to read it. Been out witnessing and got cussed at once and a person tell me she was saved yet really wants weed to the point of begging for it on the sidewalk. She got offended when I used the law to confront her sin.

Just like you get offended when people here use the Law to confront you of your sins toward your wife.
Matthew 19:9
Malachi 2:16
1 Cor 7:12

 

[JonC]

This is a debate board. You can't handle it then you know the door.

"You must love controversy" "You can't handle it then you know the door."

Sorry for my sense of humor (because I think neither meant it as funny) but this is the funniest response I have read in a long time.

 

[Lukasaurus]

Evan, you remind me of myself 10 years ago. That's roughly the last time I posted here (my post history does not represent who I am in Christ today. You may look at it to see the work of grace God has done).

You need to stop looking at pornography, or you will go through the trials as I did, only recently being fully freed from the sins of my youth by the grace of God.

If your posts weren't dated, I'd think I'd found my own posts from 10 years back when I was into WOTM in a big way. It all came crashing down and for years I have lived in depression - condemned rightfully by the law, but found no grace in the teachings I was following.

I say this with concern and discernment and love. This is unrelated to your original post. Please spare yourself the chastisement.

 

[evangelist6589]

Evan, you remind me of myself 10 years ago. That's roughly the last time I posted here (my post history does not represent who I am in Christ today. You may look at it to see the work of grace God has done).

You need to stop looking at pornography, or you will go through the trials as I did, only recently being fully freed from the sins of my youth by the grace of God.

If your posts weren't dated, I'd think I'd found my own posts from 10 years back when I was into WOTM in a big way. It all came crashing down and for years I have lived in depression - condemned rightfully by the law, but found no grace in the teachings I was following.

I say this with concern and discernment and love. This is unrelated to your original post. Please spare yourself the chastisement.

Excuse me???????? I do not touch porn!!!!!!!!

 

[blessedwife318]

Excuse me???????? I do not touch porn!!!!!!!!

No you just go to dating sites looking to commit adultery with someone on there in violation of Matthew 19:9

 

[Lukasaurus]

Excuse me???????? I do not touch porn!!!!!!!!

I used to declare that too. I was so self righteous in my doctrine, that I would dismiss lust, covetousness, licentious thoughts & desires because "I'm preaching the gospel in the streets".

How often do you have real conversations with people? Or does the shame stop you, and it's easier to stand back at a distance and declare the condemnation of God, but you're grace is only minor because you haven't experienced the true freedom that Jesus offers?

You keep visiting this forum seeking to be affirmed in your doctrine and decisions and base your acceptance with God on the doctrines of man.

 

[evangelist6589]

I used to declare that too. I was so self righteous in my doctrine, that I would dismiss lust, covetousness, licentious thoughts & desires because "I'm preaching the gospel in the streets".

How often do you have real conversations with people? Or does the shame stop you, and it's easier to stand back at a distance and declare the condemnation of God, but you're grace is only minor because you haven't experienced the true freedom that Jesus offers?

You keep visiting this forum seeking to be affirmed in your doctrine and decisions and base your acceptance with God on the doctrines of man.

Stop lying about me man. I do not touch porn!

 

[Lukasaurus]

You may not look at porn. There is a good chance you do. Statistics don't lie. I wasn't above lying about it 10 years ago. Here was my reasoning

"I want to encourage others to share the gospel. Some of them are probably false converts. But maybe I am? I struggle with porn. I can't admit it because then they would accuse me of the things I am accusing them of. So I'll lie about it and justify if because it's for the gospel and people will think I am an on fire evangelist for God."

That was my thought process. It led through a very humbling process.

"But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."

 

[Mike Stidham]

Strange why Piper would have recommended the book if this UMC church is heretical.

[1] For example, on the side of leniency toward remarriage there is Larry Richards, Remarriage: A Healing Gift from God (Waco: Word Books, 1981); and on the more rigorous side there is J. Carl Laney, The Divorce Myth(Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1981); and Geoffrey W. Bromiley, God and Marriage (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1980).

I didn't know Larry had gone over to the UMC; for many years he was a Southern Baptist!