Remarriage: A Healing Gift of God?

[evangelist6589]

Per the article, it does free the "innocent" party but the "innocent" party remarrying does not free the "guilty" party.

In this case (using @evangelist6589 's situation as he has given it to us here and per John Piper) @evangelist6589 would never be free to remarry (he is divorced in the eyes of the world but he is still obligated to his wife in the eyes of God). His wife could re-marry if @evangelist6589 remarries as hopes of reconciliation are lost as she is the victim in this situation (although @evangelist6589 may have been the victim on some accounts within the marriage, he became the offender when he divorced his wife on unbiblical grounds).

I think there comes a time when people need to move on in Christ by reconciling their past to God regardless as to how other people may view the issue.

Nope I was the victim of terrible abuse. I won't go into anymore details other than this.

 

[evangelist6589]

Maybe because most of us believe in what Jesus and Paul stated on this issue more?

Are you married or have you been married?

 

[evangelist6589]

Those details are absolutely none of anyones business.

Evan - How many times did you call the police on your wife? This article states "dangerously abusive" and so I'm sure if that applied to your marriage, you would have called the police at least once, gone for counseling and pressed charges against your wife.

At our dinner table tonight, we were talking about the night that I was called to a friend's house after her fireman husband beat her once again. This time she called the police and was going to press charges. I got there just when her husband went after her again, breaking her jaw and giving her a concussion. Fortunately the police were there as well and saw what happened, intervening and stopping him from killing her. Unfortunately, her three young children were there as well and saw what happened to mom. I stayed with her children until she was released from the hospital. This woman's pastor and I agreed - divorce was the only option left for this dangerously abused mom. It has now been about 15 years and she is still divorced and not dating. She has been working on her relationship with the Lord and with her children and resting in knowing that her husband is behind bars for attempted murder.

So tell me about the dangerous abuse you were subjected to by your wife.

 

[evangelist6589]

Hmmm - a day and half since Ann wrote this - and no response from Evan -
Oh thats right, he will not respond if the question is too hard to answer.

Ann, We trust that you are still close with your friend and giving her the support she needs.

You speak before you know. There is a proverb verse about the fool who spoke before he knew, but I cant think of the reference.

 

[JonC]

Nope I was the victim of terrible abuse. I won't go into anymore details other than this.

Yes. You may have been justified in separating from your wife in an attempt to mend the relationship while living up to your responsibilities in the marriage. BUT this is not what you are saying here. In Piper's article YOU are the guilty party because your sin exceeds the bonds of marriage. If you read the article, the ONLY biblical grounds Piper provides is abandonment, adultery, and dangerous abuse. Your situation does not meet those qualifications, so divorce (as appealing as it may have been) goes beyond what Piper suggests is a biblical response to your wife's actions. You are the adulterer, your wife the victim, because your actions exceeded biblical authority. You, not your wife, actually broke the covenant the two of you entered into before God.

(You have already told us of the "abuse", and it does not meet the qualifications of the article. I'm only responding to what you have posted and John Piper's article. You are wrong per the article.)

 

[Lukasaurus]

Nope I was the victim of terrible abuse. I won't go into anymore details other than this.

Oh come on... you won't go into details because the abuse wasn't even "abuse".

Did she call your favourite preachers, "heretics"?
Did she deny you sex?
Did she not obey your every whim?
Did she call you names?
Did she compare you to her previous husband?

Grow up. Noone feels sorry for you because you are trying to hide your sin.

 

[evangelist6589]

Yes. You may have been justified in separating from your wife in an attempt to mend the relationship while living up to your responsibilities in the marriage. BUT this is not what you are saying here. In Piper's article YOU are the guilty party because your sin exceeds the bonds of marriage. If you read the article, the ONLY biblical grounds Piper provides is abandonment, adultery, and dangerous abuse. Your situation does not meet those qualifications, so divorce (as appealing as it may have been) goes beyond what Piper suggests is a biblical response to your wife's actions. You are the adulterer, your wife the victim, because your actions exceeded biblical authority. You, not your wife, actually broke the covenant the two of you entered into before God.

(You have already told us of the "abuse", and it does not meet the qualifications of the article. I'm only responding to what you have posted and John Piper's article. You are wrong per the article.)

But you don't know nor will I speak about the nature of the abuse that I experienced so you do not know if it was dangerous or not.

 

[John of Japan]

Back in my day, you didn't admit it if a woman got the best of you. Just sayin'. Men didn't wear earrings, men didn't wear pink, men wore the pants, men worked the jobs, and real men were very embarrassed if a woman whupped up on them, and wouldn't have dared admit it.

In 2017, the concept of manhood has greatly changed--and not for the better.

 

[Deacon]

Granted that I haven't kept up on the personal things that have been shared but this thread is full of accusations and downright harassment.

There are things that shouldn't be shared on an open forum,
Problems with ones marriage being a prime example.

IMO, it's well past time to shut this thread down before irreparable harm is done!

Rob

 

[evangelist6589]

Granted that I haven't kept up on the personal things that have been shared but this thread is full of accusations and downright harassment.

There are things that shouldn't be shared on an open forum,
Problems with ones marriage being a prime example.

IMO, it's well past time to shut this thread down before irreparable harm is done!

Rob

I agree and why I will not tell these people the nature of the abuse that I experienced so a certain poster who has an agenda to attack me won't know if it was dangerous or not. He thinks he knows the details, but he knows nothing.

 

[evangelist6589]

Mods you may shut down this thread as it has turned into an attack on me. I am not sharing the details of the abuse with these people who think they know everything, but in reality know nothing.

 

[JonC]

But you don't know nor will I speak about the nature of the abuse that I experienced so you do not know if it was dangerous or not.

You have already told us that this abuse was not physical (you said it was psychological). I am talking about the article (about what Piper has written) not about whether or not you were justified in divorcing your wife.

For the record, the only reason I agree with Piper that physical abuse is a biblical reason for divorce is that he defines "divorce" as leaving with the potential of reconciliation (rather than the secular definition that the marriage has truly ended).

There is no passage of Scripture that justifies a man abandoning his wife for any reason except perhaps adultery and (if that spouse is an unbeliever) abandonment. Period. That's it. No more. Anything else is nothing but subjective liberalism (and it ignores the nature of marriage itself - just ask Hosea).

You were wrong and you sinned when you divorced your wife. You really need to come to terms with this so that you can move on. I'm not saying you have to get back with your wife (judging from threads here, I seriously don't see this as an option). But you do have to love her (because right now she is really your wife....you just got some lawyers and a judge to "trump" Scripture). So where do you go from here? Nowhere if you don't deal with the sin. The way I see it, you have to decide who you will follow and you cannot follow God until you come to terms with your sin.

This is true for all of us. God simply does not bless disobedience.

 

[JonC]

Mods you may shut down this thread as it has turned into an attack on me. I am not sharing the details of the abuse with these people who think they know everything, but in reality know nothing.

I'll close the thread because you requested it be closed and it has strayed off topic. Before I do I will note that NOTHING has been discussed here that you have not posted in the discussion forum - to include the nature of this "abuse".

You should not have married, I think we both know this. But you did. You can't change the fact that you entered into a marriage (that you and your wife are one, united within a covenant relationship). You should not have divorced your wife (you should not have stopped loving her even if you had to live separately) and you should have loved her regardless of her mental issues (yes, you shared far to much about your wife on this board). You should not pretend that a secular judge dissolved what was united under God. But most of all you have to deal with this and move on.

My suggestion is that you NEVER enter a discussion on marriage, divorce, Lordship Salvation, or discipleship until your past is truly past. I guarantee it will end the same way (we can't talk the talk if we don't walk the walk).

Thread is closed at the request of its author.

 

[TCassidy]

Nope I was the victim of terrible abuse.

No you weren't.