Scattering Ashes of a loved one.

Mary -

I'm still dealing with my daughter's death in July. She was stillborn with only 11 days to go. I understand the weird dreams, the unsettledness, and the pain... although mine is different than yours, quite obviously. Serve the Lord, pray for healing, get some counseling if you can, and above all... reflect on the good memories that you have. If He was a Christian, you will see him again... and he will be whole.

 

rbell said

This has to be one of the wisest and most profound comments I have ever seen on the BB.

What happens to a body is of no consequence. It is just the lifeless remains of a person who is no longer in need of it. People get burned all the time, leaving no body behind (e.g. the 9/11 victims who burned to death).

Cremation seems to me to be a good way to dispose of the body. Takes no land for burial, and as burning is a chemical process much like decay, it matters not. Actually, although it won't matter to me then, I think I would prefer cremation after reading what happens to a person's body in today's airtight coffins. If I were buried, perhaps a simple pine box would be better. Also better for cremations, as many funeral homes will try to sell you an expensive casket, then destroy it during cremation.

Mary Diana, my condolensces on the loss of your beloved husband. I pray you find peace in this matter.

 

I am sure it will be alright Mary. I shouldn't of even posted what I did.

 

Of course it's descriptive. It was the practice of God's people from the begining. Even God practiced burying the dead, not cremating.

To say men in the OT practiced polygamy has zero to do with whether or not we should practice burial. Apples and oranges, my friend. To say using spices, etc. is simply a side issue to burial and does nothing for your argument.

 

Agreed, Gershom.

The fact that we cannot find one instance of God's people being cremated by order of God, yet He does give commad for burning of pagans... The fact that we find God Himself burying Moses, should show us that is what God intends for the deceased Christian... burial.

But, as I said, many this day and age cannot afford to purchase a 7,000 dollar casket only to pay someone else to bury it in the ground. Cremation is much, much more affordable.

Do I think Mary is condemned for honoring her husband's wishes? It matters not what I or anyone else thinks. What matters is what is God telling her?

Many times when we feel guilty about something, it is the Spirit convicting. If that is the case, there is good news. God is a forgiving God. He is faithful and just to forgive (if He considers it to be sin). And when He forgives, He forgets. He will not condemn for something that He has fogiven.

 

BTW, I do not judge or condemn the OPster. May God bless you and give you peace and comfort during the absence of your husband. Look ahead to when you will see him again. Remember God's promises and hold to them.

God bless you.

 

Mary, as one living in a country that mandates cremation, may I share with you, and maybe give some more comfort?

In Japan, it is virtually impossible for a Christian to be buried. I only know of two graveyards in the whole country of 120 million people where you can actually bury your loved one. I've never talked to a Japanese Christian who had a problem with cremation. In fact, one very mature Japanese Christian once shared how to him, cremation was better, because the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, yet putting it in the ground as is will not prevent the destruction of the body! He felt that cremation was a cleaner and better way to do it. Furthermore, scientifically speaking, what takes place in cremation and in burial are the same chemical process--cremation simply greatly speeds up the process.

As has been pointed out on this thread, there is no Bible command on the matter, even in the OT law, which is very specific in most things. If there is no command to bury, then there is no sin in cremation.

We have in our church a precious believer, Mr. Ueno. His Christian wife died suddenly of cancer down in Yokohama, and he had no place to bury her, though he was able to find a church that would do the funeral. (Her own church refused to bury her since she had not been sprinkled.) He brought her ashes up here to his hometown, and then one day his brother asked if I could help.

As it happens, we have a joint grave between two churches where we place the ashes of believers. When he came to us hoping we could help him he was heartbroken, and still had his wife's ashes after several months. I told him I thought we could help him finally bury his wife's ashes, but what was more important, he would never see her again if he did not trust Christ as Savior. It was so easy to win him to the Lord!

Do you know, at the graveside service where we put his wife's ashes into our church grave, I was so blessed to be able to do that for him! It mattered not at all to me that she had been cremated. What mattered was Mr. Ueno's precious soul. He was baptized not long after that, and is one of our few members. (Japanese churches are tiny.) Furthermore, his whole family heard the Gospel for the first time at the graveside!

Be comforted about your husband. You did what was right.

 

Many other times when we feel guilty about something, we are allowing the extra-biblical mandates of others to weigh us down.

 

good post JoJ. Thanks for the insight.

 

I've heard some interesting insight from various views. One has struck me, and that is the avoidance of cremation as believers. I am not in any way saying that cremation is definitely wrong, or there is any punishment for it. However, although our bodies die and return to the ground, don't we believe that they will be raised?? This does not say that God cannot raise a cremated body, He can, and surely will raise many, I imagine. Rather it is the testimony that goes with the burial of a believer. The testimony that says, "I have returned to the earth, and will be raised in the end." Is it better to avoid cremation for the testimony of the future hope and resurrection? Or does it not even matter either way? I'm not sure, but I think that burial over cremation makes sense. Not a hill I'm going to die on, but just an interesting thought.

 

The Bible speaks of even the sea giving up the dead that are in it. Those bodies are most likely not in complete bodily form either.

I think John hit the nail on the head. Mary Diana, I also think you did right by keeping your husband's wishes. May God grant you His peace.

 

Since it was your husband's wishes, you should not feel bad about it at all, even if you didn't want it.

The Bible is silent on this but I think we can draw some principles from the Bible to address this issue, without calling cremation a sin.

I used to want to be cremated before I was a believer and told everyone this, so when I became a believer, I had to rethink it (along with everything else in my life.

This is my view: If someone else wants to do it for themselves, I would not say it is a sin. However, I do not want to request it because it is the deliberate destruction of the human body, which was created by God. Even though it's a mortal body, it is still from God. Even though our old bodies will be transformed into new, spiritual bodies, it is still from God.

A lot of people say "the body doesn't matter" and "many people have their bodies destroyed" in fires, etc.

My response:
1) The body does matter; we are spirit-mind-body unities. It's the New Agers who say the body doesn't matter and believe it. It's part of their worldview. I know, I used to be one. They believe the body is a mere vehicle for the soul or spirit. This is not a biblical view.

2) Just because some people's bodies are destroyed in fires, etc., does not mean it's okay to deliberately demolish the body after death.

I still say don't feel bad since this was your husband's wishes - just let it go. The Lord understands why you did what you did.

 

I don't think it's wrong. I see nothing in scripture that says it's wrong, or even best. You followed his wishes and what he asked you to do. That was right.

I personally choose burial because it's what happened with Jesus...then again I'd also prefer to rise again in three days, but neither idea makes my personal preference any holier than someone elses. However, if it wasn't for that I'd go with cremation myself because I just find the whole concept of embalming and using sealed caskets very disconcerting and odd. (in other words, I don't get it!)

But if my loved one requested it, especially a husband, then it would be my job to carry that out. You did that, so good for you. There certainly are no scriptures against it, and I have looked because I was considering cremation for myself until a pastor friend pointed out the idea of burial being closer to what Jesus did, but even he made it VERY clear that it wasn't a command or anything close, that it was a personal decision that didn't has no "better this way or that" written out in scripture for us!

 

Personally, I don't care what those who are left do with my body. I won't be here. As I already have a funeral plot, I imagine that I will be buried, next to my daughter. But I'll already be gone, so it really doesn't matter to me.

 

Does anyone know how long it takes for a buried body to turn to ashes?

The big difference between burial and cremation can be about $5,000.00.

Jesus wasn't buried. He was placed in someone else's catacomb, with a huge rock rolled in front to close it off.

Cheers,

Jim

 

dan e., I think you made some good points I had not thought of.

I agree - it is not a hill I would die on, but I do think there is an issue here. Christians should not demean the body or make it seem like it doesn't matter. God created bodies for a reason and gave them to Adam and Eve. It makes us very distinct from the animal world and since all that God created was good, our bodies were created good. True, they are fallen now, but they will be raised and transformed.

It's a popular view on our culture, which grows more Gnostic every day, spiritually speaking, to demean the body or make it seem not important. At the same time, we are into health fads to make the body better. A very mixed up society it is.

 

Jim, I said in the same post that burial is "closest" to what Jesus did, but yeah, I didn't make that clear in the first part of the post! Thanks for pointing it out clearly.

I've never been responsible for carrying out the finalities of a loved one...but it's gotta be tough to have to wonder if you did the right thing on top of that.

 

It is not a sin to follow someone's wishes and cremate.

However, as dan and Marcia have pointed out, the church's position for 2000 years has been burial. The reason? Because we believe in ressurection. In 1 Cor. 15, Paul says 11 times directly, and 3 times indirectly, that our physical bodies will be raised. We will not be Casper the friendly ghost, but rather the same body that went in the grave will rise again. This idea that we will get new bodies in heaven is only a very modern idea.....no Christians of any other age believed that. Christians have always believed in respecting the body because scripture says very, very clearly that it will rise again. We are indeed mind/body/spirit.

That said, I in no way mean to upset you, Mary. The body is only particles, and God put it together once, He can put it together again. My sympathy to you and your family.