Seeking Counsel for Pastor

Trotter · Sep 28, 2006

He is all for the "natural" bit.
Click to expand...

But, then, he's not the one suffering through it.

paidagogos · Oct 1, 2006

Similar story

Lagardo said:

My BA is in Psychology and about half of my masters was geared towards a degree in counseling preparing me to get a professional counseling lisence. I was studying at a seminary and the thinking was that pastors are not equipped to counsel in all situations, so professional counseling is a rising ministry as more and more churches either need to refer their counseling to someone or hire an on-staff counselor.

In the course of these studies, I learned a few things:

1) Professional counseling is a large umbrella. Degees range from MA's to PhD's. Because the money is better more an more social workers are getting into the field and professional schools are openining up with a new PsyD degree as well. In most states people need some form of license, but there are always ways around that. Professional Counseling thrives off of a medical model for their industry. This way, they can easily make the comparison to doctors. However, where it lacks is in the training and the standards for license.

2) Professional Counseling doesn't work. There are some success stories, but they are outwieghed by the fact that for every person who feels as though counseling has helped them there is one who feels it did nothing, and one who feels they are worse off. I have heard a professional counselor say of pastoral counseling, "If I have a toothache, I'll pray...I'll pray on my way to the dentist." Fine, but the dentist enjoys more than a 33% success rate. Further, 80% of counselees feel better when they make their first appointment. In other words, just the idea of "I'm getting help" has a lot of value. Factor that in, and its hard to say that the professional counselor is doing much of anything.

3) Here's the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I was taught that counseling techniques depend greatly on how much the counselor believes in them. This made me think. What are these techniques? Most counselors with any training at all are using Rogerian techniques and that is humanist to the core. I thought, "If I have to put my faith in something, why is it in a humanist technique?"

Pastors, we are told to refer, refer, refer. Why? Could it be that we do for free what others are paid a lot of money for?

Is there a reason to refer? Sure. If the problem is medical, the person should see a doctor. In fact, if someone is talking to you about a chronic problem, a good physical is always in order. The professional counselor is no more equipped than you to deal with a medical problem.

What abou psychosis? Professional Counselors are not equipped for this either. Again, a medical doctor is in order.

I would strongly reccomend "The Christian Counselor's Manual" by Jay Adams. Pastors, take back the part of your ministry that so many are telling you that you are not equipped for. You are.
Click to expand...

Your testimony is somewhat similar to Richard Ganz who was teaching psychology and doing psychotherapy in a large medical center. You can read it here at http://www.jewsforjesus.ca/rganz.htm or hear it here at http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=12220485014

Shell · Oct 1, 2006

bapmom said:

Shell,

I hope I didn't give you the impression that I think you aren't doing what your pastor says. I do think that oftentimes thats a problem, but you are the only one who can know if you are implementing any solution he's given you.

May I suggest you ask for some weekly counselling from/with his wife? It could be that what you are seeing as a lack of caring, is possibly overload. You need someone to talk to, and he (as most men) hear the problem, think of a solution and can sort of expect that to be the end of it.....ya know?

Have you looked into getting the RU discipleship course anymore? I think of you every now and then and wonder how you are. I hope you can look into that. I believe it would be an absolute wonder for you.

In the least, go to the RU website and join their forum board.
Click to expand...

No, you did not give me that impression. For the most part I have implemented most of his solutions, and for the parts I have not implemented, he understands why I have not.

As for counseling with his wife- Its not that I don't trust or do not want to talk to her, but I feel more comfortable with talk with men- due to what I call the "sterness" or controlling voice so to speak( not meaning in a negative situation). She has been there in some of the counseling sessions, which I don't mind. With RU, I know there is not much of an interest of the RU program in our church- they used to- a long time ago- before, I started attending. I will try to look into it.

In the end of all this. I want to please GOD, and get the issues out of my system. I also want to "please" my preacher and those very close to at the church who know the issues. Sometimes when I can't please everyone, to include GOD, I feel at wits end. Which is the impasse I am at now. I just want it to end or just bury it so deep so it don't come around for a long time.

bapmom · Oct 1, 2006

I understand.....I too tend to want to please everyone all the time. Both of us have to get over that, because there's not going to be a time when we please everyone all of the time.

and when I think about it, there are times when others in my life don't please me, but I still like them anyway. Its the same with people in your life. You might not please them all of the time, but they will still like you if they are really your friend.

Im still prayin' for ya.

Shell · Oct 3, 2006

bapmom said:

I understand.....I too tend to want to please everyone all the time. Both of us have to get over that, because there's not going to be a time when we please everyone all of the time.

and when I think about it, there are times when others in my life don't please me, but I still like them anyway. Its the same with people in your life. You might not please them all of the time, but they will still like you if they are really your friend.

Im still prayin' for ya.
Click to expand...

Its something that I will have to work on or go crazy trying to work on it. I just wish to get my head above the ground for once.

Shell · Oct 11, 2006

New Thought

Does anyone think that talking to another pastor at an IFB church in the area would be a good idea?

This something I am considering.

TennisNE1 · Oct 12, 2006

Should a pastor have some kind of insurance in case of lawsuit?

Cindy

Shell · Oct 12, 2006

TennisNE1 said:

Should a pastor have some kind of insurance in case of lawsuit?

Cindy
Click to expand...

Where do you get the lawsuit idea from?

I said nothing about suing a pastor

StefanM · Oct 12, 2006

Shell said:

Does anyone think that talking to another pastor at an IFB church in the area would be a good idea?

This something I am considering.
Click to expand...

I would definitely suggest going to a Christian counselor instead of another pastor. Going to another pastor could possibly distract him from ministering to his flock.

Shell · Oct 12, 2006

close thread please

I have got the answer I need through pray. Please close thread

thank you

Seeking Counsel for Pastor

Trotter <img src =/6412.jpg>

paidagogos Active Member

Shell New Member

bapmom New Member

Shell New Member

Shell New Member

TennisNE1 Member

Shell New Member

StefanM Well-Known Member
Site Supporter

Shell New Member

Useful Searches

Seeking Counsel for Pastor

Trotter <img src =/6412.jpg>

paidagogos Active Member

Shell New Member

bapmom New Member

Shell New Member

Shell New Member

TennisNE1 Member

Shell New Member

StefanM Well-Known Member Site Supporter

Shell New Member

StefanM Well-Known Member
Site Supporter