Seeking Personal advice

[exscentric]

A farmer came to his neighbor and asked if he could borrow his rope. The neighbor said "Sure." "What are you going to use it for?" The farmer said, "Oh, I want to tie up my milk." The neighbor was shocked and asked what he was talking about - that you can't tie up milk. The farmer replied "Oh, I know, but any excuse will do."

Come up with a plan of pain, commit to it and just do it. Many of us have had big debt - you stop spending what you don't have and pay it off as fast as you can. Now, if we could get Washington to heed our advice .......

 

[JamesL]

You may be correct. I want a wife and she does not want. Husband that works 70 hours a week or whom works a 2nd shift job.

So as someone told me unless God opens the door stop worrying about it nothing I can do.

I would think you and your wife ought to each take something to heart.

First, for you - stop worrying about all the demands your wife has for you. You make it sound like she's gonna leave you if you take a second shift job. It's great that she wants her husband at home, but are you there only for her to dictate every facet of your life? You have the greatest and first responsibility to love her as Christ loved the church, to sacrifice all for her. But loving someone is not the same as catering to all her whims. If you spend all your time trying to give her everything she wants, you are doing a great disservice to both of you.

Second, for your wife - she has not been called to have everything she wants, but to what God has ordained for her. She's trying to set all these parameters for how and when you work, where you go to church, etc. The bottom line for her is that she needs to grow up in the faith and stop trying to usurp God's authority and the head of the house

What you both need to do is seek God in the matter. Trust Him to guide you into His will. Be ok with it if He tells you to take a second job, or if He wants you to change shifts, or if He wants you to live like a pauper. Maybe you move to somewhere with a lower cost of living? Who knows but God? Maybe you start your own business? Ask Him.

 

[evangelist6589]

I would think you and your wife ought to each take something to heart.



First, for you - stop worrying about all the demands your wife has for you. You make it sound like she's gonna leave you if you take a second shift job. It's great that she wants her husband at home, but are you there only for her to dictate every facet of your life? You have the greatest and first responsibility to love her as Christ loved the church, to sacrifice all for her. But loving someone is not the same as catering to all her whims. If you spend all your time trying to give her everything she wants, you are doing a great disservice to both of you.



Second, for your wife - she has not been called to have everything she wants, but to what God has ordained for her. She's trying to set all these parameters for how and when you work, where you go to church, etc. The bottom line for her is that she needs to grow up in the faith and stop trying to usurp God's authority and the head of the house



What you both need to do is seek God in the matter. Trust Him to guide you into His will. Be ok with it if He tells you to take a second job, or if He wants you to change shifts, or if He wants you to live like a pauper. Maybe you move to somewhere with a lower cost of living? Who knows but God? Maybe you start your own business? Ask Him.

Good advice James. Yeah in the area of Calvinism and evangelism I don't cater to all her demands. I keep all my books, I won't back off WOTM and I attend a Calvinistic men's group at another church. She has been against all of this but I don't bow to all her wishes.

Going through Crown financial at church I need to find a way to balance work and family and God. The book did not advise working 70 hours a week just to pay off debts. I do believe that there may be some days that I could work an extra shift but working 2nd shift and never seeing my wife would not be biblical nor wise.

Believe me we are going through a book called the Exemplary Husband at the other church by Stuart Scott and even he would not advise such action.

I am convicted to try and find balance. However in September or whenever when the department moves to another building I may get 10 or more hours of OT a week so that will drastically help and it would be 1st shift.

Also I do not exactly agree with Dave Ramsey whom definitely teaches some different things than Crown. It's about balance between family work and God. Working 70 hours a week to pay off debts is not balance.

 

[Rolfe]

Evang,

This sounds, unfortunately, like you want to have your cake and eat it too. Many people have to forego comfortable and convenient work schedules for often YEARS in their industry before their performance and seniority grant them better options. I have many friends in the Nuclear Power industry who work rotating shifts sometimes for a decade or more prior to a more likeable "day shift". You must pay your dues....no matter where you go.

Agree. Well said.

Try being a pilot, either for a charter company or an airline. Strange hours, days or weeks away from home, little sleep... :laugh:

 

[evangelist6589]

A farmer came to his neighbor and asked if he could borrow his rope. The neighbor said "Sure." "What are you going to use it for?" The farmer said, "Oh, I want to tie up my milk." The neighbor was shocked and asked what he was talking about - that you can't tie up milk. The farmer replied "Oh, I know, but any excuse will do."

Come up with a plan of pain, commit to it and just do it. Many of us have had big debt - you stop spending what you don't have and pay it off as fast as you can. Now, if we could get Washington to heed our advice .......

I do not have any new debts as it's all from the past.

 

[Revmitchell]

A pilot who gets little sleep, now there is a combination. Good grief

 

[evangelist6589]

Agree. Well said.



Try being a pilot, either for a charter company or an airline. Strange hours, days or weeks away from home, little sleep... :laugh:

Good for single people and people with wife's that understand. But believe me plenty would be on eharmony everyday to find someone new and not tell you about it with a job like this!!

Happens all the time!!

Before I married I saw all kinds of married women on the dating sites looking for a new husband and I bet workaholism had something to do with a good portion of them.

 

[evangelist6589]

A pilot who gets little sleep, now there is a combination. Good grief

Disaster. Just like a truck driver recently whom killed someone because he is a workaholic and has lots of debts to pay.

 

[Revmitchell]

Disaster. Just like a truck driver recently whom killed someone because he is a workaholic and has lots of debts to pay.

As for you, beans and rice and a second part time job. No excuses just get it done. If you do not then the repurcussions are only your fault. No one else.

 

[thisnumbersdisconnected]

As for you, beans and rice and a second part time job. No excuses just get it done. If you do not then the repurcussions are only your fault. No one else.

I second, John.

I've taken you to task when you've asked similar questions before, and here you're asking them again. When are you going to take good Godly advice from brothers and sisters in Christ?

 

[InTheLight]

A pilot who gets little sleep, now there is a combination. Good grief

I have a friend that is an air traffic controller. He often works double shifts--6 am to 2 pm and then 11 pm to 6 am. He says he sometimes takes naps on the 11 pm to 6 am shift---because they have more controllers in the tower and air traffic at these hours is extremely light. Basically, they take turns taking naps.

Now, back to the OP...

 

[quantumfaith]

As for you, beans and rice and a second part time job. No excuses just get it done. If you do not then the repurcussions are only your fault. No one else.

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[corndogggy]

I do not have any new debts as it's all from the past.

Why does it matter?

 

[Rolfe]

A pilot who gets little sleep, now there is a combination. Good grief

Normally, I'd be called a glorified bus driver...:laugh:

 

[corndogggy]

Last year I did have a logistics job paying 41-45K a year. However the hours were bad and they wanted me to be working every weekend and never see my wife so it was a bad fit.

So as someone told me unless God opens the door stop worrying about it nothing I can do.

Once upon a time there was a youth pastor and his wife and kids. The economy turned sour so the church scaled back and told him that they will phase out his job within 6 months, which actually turned into over a year. During that time, he was given an opportunity at a car manufacturing plant, pretty much a guaranteed job, but it wasn't a good fit. He has law enforcement experience and could have been a cop, but that wasn't a good fit probably due to having to work second or third shift. He had so much time off and it stretched out for so long that he could have had the majority of an associates degree, but that was icky. Over and over he turned down opportunities that could have supported his family.

In the meantime his wife had to work more to make ends meet, but she wasn't used to doing such things, and turned to retail therapy. The lack of a job for him plus the debt was too stressful, and they got a divorce. :BangHead:

This was my sisters family. My suggestion? Listen to Mike Rowe:

http://www.ijreview.com/2014/04/134...poonful-tough-love-fan-seeking-career-advice/


Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.

 

[Rolfe]

Good for single people and people with wife's that understand. But believe me plenty would be on eharmony everyday to find someone new and not tell you about it with a job like this!!

Happens all the time!!

Before I married I saw all kinds of married women on the dating sites looking for a new husband and I bet workaholism had something to do with a good portion of them.

Perhaps, but I did not see much of that.

In my own case, I married late in life. Mrs. Rolf knew what she was taking on and accepted it. I have never had any reason to doubt her fidelity, and trust her fully. Anyone who would question her honor is answerable to me.

 

[Rolfe]

Disaster. Just like a truck driver recently whom killed someone because he is a workaholic and has lots of debts to pay.

I doubt that anyone died because of a truck driver's debts.

As for you, beans and rice and a second part time job. No excuses just get it done. If you do not then the repurcussions are only your fault. No one else.

Well said.

Evangelist: I do not know you personally, so my impression of you is only from what you post. I believe you to be an honest and honorable young man who has a hunger for Our Lord and a thirst for knowledge. I think that you regret taking on debt to pay for your education.

You seem to want the easy way out of your situation. The sooner that you give up that hope and realize what is needed -extra work and sacrifice- the sooner you will be rid of hour debt.

I know that I may seem harsh, and I do not intend to be, but it is the reality of life.

 

[evangelist6589]

As for you, beans and rice and a second part time job. No excuses just get it done. If you do not then the repurcussions are only your fault. No one else.

Its either that or I wait till we get moved and then for sure I will get OT in the other building.

You know a good part time job would be one in a field that I want to get into. Perhaps I can call a few up and offer to work for $12/14/hr which would be low in such a field and say I just wanna get more experience in the field.

Or I want a job with an adventure to it and then work would be fun. I am day dreaming but why not a job like in Star Trek the Original Series? he he...

 

[evangelist6589]

I second, John.

I've taken you to task when you've asked similar questions before, and here you're asking them again. When are you going to take good Godly advice from brothers and sisters in Christ?

I am looking for BALANCE. Not a situation where I am working 70 hours a week and never see my wife or go to church and I am sorry I won't take that advice (which has been what you have said).

 

[evangelist6589]

I have a friend that is an air traffic controller. He often works double shifts--6 am to 2 pm and then 11 pm to 6 am. He says he sometimes takes naps on the 11 pm to 6 am shift---because they have more controllers in the tower and air traffic at these hours is extremely light. Basically, they take turns taking naps.

Now, back to the OP...

Go tell that to the doctor after he has a heart attack due to lack of sleep.

I am sorry but I'd rather be in default on all debts verses ruining my physical health.