Serious Question... Very Troubling

I wanted to give everyone and update on how things are going.

I think things might be improving. I'm kind of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, I guess you could say.

I've been praying that the Lord would help me, and my faith is starting to be strengthened a bit.

Also, tonight my Pastor preached a message that sounded like he had been reading my posts (which is pretty much impossible)!

He preached about how many young Christians get so burdened that they feel like they need to run out and do everything they can 100% of the time, but that the Christian life is not that way. I wish I could give you more of the sermon, but I don't wan to risk my identity here. Let's just say that I feel like the Lord is hearing my (and Your) prayers and giving me some answers, and I can't tell you how much of a blessing that is.

I have gotten to the point that I don't know whether to quit my job, quit the church, quit Christianity or all of the above. God is showing me that I am expecting more out of myself than God expects out of me, and that I have been working for him under my own power instead of just letting him work through me in whatever capacity he wills for me.

I don't like being wrong, but I know that I have been. I have been getting burned out, and have been in denial about it, until very recently when I almost broke completely.

I'm not out of the woods yet, so I would appreciate your continued prayers, but I do feel like the Lord is helping me out of it, and this time it is his working, and not me trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps. Hopefully I will come out of this a stronger Christian for it and my faith already feels more firmly grounded as a result, and I am learning some new things about what I believe and why I really believe them.

Thank you again for your prayers, I just can't tell you how grateful I am for them. Please continue!