Should a church staff member's children....

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

There is no way I would "make" my 20 year old son go to our church if he didn't want to and they only sit with us till they are 12 or so.

Course, I am the pastor and my wife plays the piano .

 

[annsni]

As I said, ours didn't sit with us. They didn't sit in the balcony either though. Mine sat on the front row. Dead center. They were much more visible to the pastor than we were. We sat off to the side.

I sure didn't have a problem when Brother Mark said, "Brandon, what do you think about so-n-so?" Kept 'em on their toes.

Front seat?? I like that! But can I ask why they chose to sit there rather than with you? I'm just honestly curious. The only time I see teens wanting to sit elsewhere is when they want to sit with their friends.

There is no way I would "make" my 20 year old son go to our church if he didn't want to and they only sit with us till they are 12 or so.

Course, I am the pastor and my wife plays the piano .

LOL - That DOES make it tough. My husband led worship today, my 17 year old was teaching Sunday School, my 15 year old was home with my sick 4 year old and so my 6 year old sat with me in the sound booth today. That DOES make for a more difficult place to put them. When they can't sit with anyone, they sit next to the pastors up front.

 

[mcdirector]

Front seat?? I like that! But can I ask why they chose to sit there rather than with you? I'm just honestly curious. The only time I see teens wanting to sit elsewhere is when they want to sit with their friends.

They had a couple of other guys sit down there with them. There were usually four to six of them. They adored the pastor for one thing. He has since gone to be with our Father. We'd told them they had to be where we could see them for another.

I don't remember how it (sitting on the front row) started, but I do remember the first Sunday they marched down there and thinking, "Oh my goodness, I hope that's not trouble!" Of course it wasn't, but I am a mother of sons donchano . . .

Edited to add -- I forgot to say that we had told them they could sit somewhere other than with us, if they sat where we could see them. They were both in HS when they moved away from sitting with us. We both worked somewhere else after the service and had to scoot fast. I was frequently late too because of the media center.

 

[rbell]

Front seat?? I like that! But can I ask why they chose to sit there rather than with you? I'm just honestly curious. The only time I see teens wanting to sit elsewhere is when they want to sit with their friends.

On a given Sunday, we have 50-60 teens sitting in the first 3-4 rows. Are they sitting with friends? Yep....much like many adults will sit with their friends as well.

Just because one sits with one's friends does not mean they are misbehaving. Many of the aforementioned teens take better notes on the sermon than their parents.

 

[BrotherBill]

I just have to say when I was growing up, I didn't always attend the church my parents went too, if I was made to go where they went I wouldn't be where I am today as a Baptist with good roots;I would be a Pentcocmethcathndn (a church hopper) because thats what they did when I was growing up,I did it for a while only because I was trying to look after my mother's heath until she passed in 1987, but it was me that found First Baptist Church in Texas and later my dad joined, both of my parents have gone on, anyway I am just saying I am glad where the Lord led me to go and not my parents. :type:

God Bless

 

[Ivon Denosovich]

18 is not a magic number...

Compared with:

When one steps out from under the authority of a parent (under 21), they are also stepping out from under God's 'umbrella of protection'.

If I am understanding you correctly (and I may not be) 21 wouldn't be a magic number either. Btw, if parents were to give their blessing for a teenager to attend a different church than that of their own because of the lack of a youth group that wouldn't be an issue of "stepping out" from parental authority. Would you have a problem then?

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

If I am understanding you correctly (and I may not be) 21 wouldn't be a magic number either.

No, it's not magic, but most people are considered adults by then. I still maintain that if they are living at home, there would have to be house rules. Going to the same church may or may not be one of them, however.

Generally, when children reach that age, the house rules are made together with all parties having an input and agreeing.

Btw, if parents were to give their blessing for a teenager to attend a different church than that of their own because of the lack of a youth group that wouldn't be an issue of "stepping out" from parental authority. Would you have a problem then?

No, I wouldn't because they are still obeying the authority God has placed over them.

 

[just-want-peace]

No, I wouldn't because they are still obeying the authority God has placed over them.

The crux of the whole matter!!!

 

[Ivon Denosovich]

No, it's not magic, but most people are considered adults by then. I still maintain that if they are living at home, there would have to be house rules. Going to the same church may or may not be one of them, however.

Generally, when children reach that age, the house rules are made together with all parties having an input and agreeing.



No, I wouldn't because they are still obeying the authority God has placed over them.

Thanks for the info.

 

[bobbyd]

As a pastor, if i'm in a church where my kids are not being spiritually nurtured enough to be members there or attend there...i have bigger issues to deal with.
If they are over 18 and on their own, they should be allowed to go where the Spirit leads them.

 

[David Lamb]

Should a church staff member's children attend the same church that their parents are serving in?

I'm hampered (as happens so often) by differences in terminology on the other side of the atlantic. What is meant by a "church staff member"? The pastor? Other elders? Deacons? Sunday School teachers? And why should they treat their children any differently to the way other church members treat theirs?

 

[mcdirector]

David, we are refering to some one who is paid and generally pastoral in nature. They may have another title though -- like director.

And I did ask the same question up the pike about why their children would be treated any differently because I don't think they should.

 

[mcdirector]

As a pastor, if i'm in a church where my kids are not being spiritually nurtured enough to be members there or attend there...i have bigger issues to deal with.
If they are over 18 and on their own, they should be allowed to go where the Spirit leads them.

Exactly! Or you may have rebellion issues at home and then again you've got bigger issues to deal with.

At 18, the kids just kept going where they'd always gone. When they went to college, they found new churches in their new towns and went there. I think Joe had a few weeks where he didn't go and had to go to a couple of churches before he found one, but the habit was so entrenched it was difficult to break.

We want them going to church - a good one, not a fluffy one, but we want them in church!

 

[David Lamb]

David, we are refering to some one who is paid and generally pastoral in nature. They may have another title though -- like director.

And I did ask the same question up the pike about why their children would be treated any differently because I don't think they should.

Thanks for bearing with me and explaining, and sorry I missed your earlier message.

 

[mcdirector]

Thanks for bearing with me and explaining, and sorry I missed your earlier message.

Oh! Don't apologize for that! It's so easy to do. Happens to me all the time. The only reason I mentioned is because I wanted you to know you weren't alone in thinking the expectation should be the same across the board for all families.