Should a submissive wife....

Scarlett O, I totally agree with you. A great post!

When my husband and I were discussing marriage, he was kind enough to say, if you want to keep your current name, it is all right. I decided to take his name. However, you should see what my legal name is name: First name, Middle Name, Maiden Name, First husband's name, Current Husband's name.

I didn't want any trouble with driver's license, passport, retirement and other funds. However, I usually use First Name and Current Husband's name. It really depends on to whom I am talking and what name they remember me by, but I always use my current husband's name.

 

I forgot to add that my name is also Mrs. Ed Edwards

 

Scarlett,

While I took my husbands last name when we were married, I also kept my maiden name and dropped my middle name. It was time for the Lou to go. (Lou who? Cindi Lou Who, of course!)

This is a totally individual decision with no right or wrong answer. Whatever pleases the couple is best.

Btw, do you think God goes back and changes our names in the Book of Life when us Christian women marry?

 

I really doubt that our earthly names are written in the Book. Jesus gave the apostles different names at their conversion. I believe he was giving them the name that was written in the Book.

It's kind of comical, but our pastor was speaking on this subject last Sunday. He kind of went off on a tangent, just a little, and made the remark that, since we are all joint heirs with Christ that he thinks we might have his name. He then said that his name might be written "Jeff Christ" in the Book. There was some chuckling and some head shaking. I think he was a little embarrassed afterwards. His thoughts don't always exactly come out right, and he said later that this was one of those times.

I don't know what my name is in the Book, but I know whatever it is it will be perfect.

Come to think of it, I guess it will be James after all.

 

Thankful, I always found it rather amusing that my grandmother would always sign her name, before my grandfather died, as Mrs. Willis Robertson. You want to talk submissive.

Of course, when he was drinking, she would not hesitate to hit him over the head with her house shoe, so I guess she wasn't all that submissive.

 

I believe that we should mind our own business and stay out of business that does not concern us.

 

I do like that Pastor. I love to hear His Word without equivocation. And on this particular subject He has shown you His interpretation. It’s when we do our on interpreting we dirty up our walking shoes.

 

Since the "two are one flesh"---there is room for only one name!! When doing wedding vows---I always instuct the woman being married to repeat

"It is an honor to take on YOUR last name!"

By the way, that is the first thing that the husband gives his new wife---his last name!

 

Amen, Diane! Well stated. Your situation is exceptional, Terri, and God has given you his grace and will honor your sacrifice. BTW, I find it hard to picture a situation that better pictures submission than your caring for your husband the way that you do. God bless you!

 

Why the anger? Anyone has a right to address the topic of the thread, which was whether the wife should take the husbands last name. If you disagree with someone's opinion you certainly have the right to say so, but to call names because you disagree is slightly childish and does not lend any credibility to your position.

 

Pastor Greg,
I was not angry when I posted, and I fail to see how you can accuse me of such. I said nothing out of the way. Who on this board did I call what name? Please prove your accusations.
I do not think people need to know all of anyone elses business. Do you?
1Thes 4:11a
That you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business

Your right everyone has a right to state their own opinion, and I did so, in a civil manner, attacking no one, calling no other BBer any names as accused. And as I stated my opinion, your attack9childish? where?) on me seems to be becasue of my opinion,(no a woman does not have to take her husbands name if she doesn't want too, and that people should do as scripture says, mind their own business).
When people feel they need to know the business of another it is usually the first steps of gossip, If it doesn't concern you personally then why else would you need to know it?
1Ti.1:5-6
1Ti. 5:13
I have attacked, or bashed no one on this board or on this thread. Yet you come out of no where bashing me, calling me names. I hope your right to do so made you feel better.

 

I don't think a woman not taking her husband name has anything to do with submission, since it isn't biblical anyway. For those who think there is something wrong with not taking your husbands name, please show biblical evidence.
If you have the right to take your husbands name, so not another woman have the right not to, since she is not violating scripture. Taking the husbands name is cultural, and relatively modern(prehaps someone would search and find when this pratice started).
And yes, your name is who you are, look at your pay check, your bank account, your medical records, your tax return.
You have more then one identity.
daughter/son, wife/husband, mother/father, CHRISTIAN, pastor, taxi driver, teacher, accountant, golfer, farmer, street cleaner, tennis player.

 

In bible times did they have last names? When did we first start using last names?

 

If a wife refuses to take her husbands name, is that submissiveness? However, husbands aren't supposed to be tyrants.

It took my wife a few years to change her name. She is Indonesian. In her people-group, wives don't legally change their names, and they can be called by either their husbands last name or their maiden name. "Boro Purba"--the one with the maiden name Purba. "Ibu Hudson" --Mrs. Hudson.

We didn't change her name right away because she had a visit visa for 5 years to the US in a passport with the maiden name. It was a hassle to go to the embassy, so we just left the paperwork as it was.

But when we went to the US, my wife wanted my last name on her social security card, and other paperwork. I don't remember if she got a new SS card, but she did finally get it on her passport, and I think her greencard may have 'Hudson' now. Now that we are in Indonesia, she has four names on her passport. I wish she'd gotten rid of her original middle name because it's so long "Lumongga" and used "Purba" as her middle name. That would show her maiden name and make it easier for people to see who she was if she needed to prove her identity here from records. Or else, she could have just taken Lumongga as a middle name and gotten rid of Purba.

When I married my wife, part of the deal that goes along with paying the bride-price if you are not a Batak is to take a Batak last name and adopted parents. So I became my wife's adpoted first cousin. Since it was a maternal first cousin, that's okay in Batak tradition. I've got a Batak last name which is a good ice breaker with Batak people around here.

 

Terri, you have certainly been through a lot in your lifetime and I am glad that you had God there with you.

However, in fairness to the many woman who may be reading this. There are many, many woman who must take care of fathers and husbands. There are many women who must go to work outside the home to be sure that her children have food and clothing. In doing so, she can still be submissive to her husband.

Yes, the ideal life for some might be as you stated: I would have married a high school sweetheart, settled down, had about 6 kids, and gladly been a stay-at-home mom who homeschooled. But THAT is not what God intended for me.

But this is not always God's Plan for a woman's life. So no woman should feel guilty because her life does not fit this perfect example. I could continue with: If all women fit this plan, who would be teachers, nurses, and secretaries, and other positions that have been traditionally filled by women.