Should a submissive wife....

As many of you have stated, I too was very proud to take my husband's name, but what if I had small children? Even though I was a widow, how would it look if my children had a different name than mine?

How would it affect them?

Which would hurt my testimony more? Different name than children or different name than husband?

I agree with others that this is a matter to be decided between the husband and wife.

 

It would be the same as if you kept your maiden name, but your children have their father's last name.

Personally, I would look on it better if the woman was a remarried widow with a different name than her children than if she just kept her maiden name. Although I know we are not supposed to judge, whenever I hear of a married lady who still keeps her maiden name I automatically think "liberal, women's-liber". That statement is obviously not true of the women on this board, but still, first impressions matter.

It might also lead me to think that the lady is a "common-law" wife if she still goes by her maiden name.

Personally, I have known several ladies whose husbands died or ran off with other women, leaving their wives with children. When the women remarry, and their kids retain their old last names, I would be more inclined to think that either her husband left her or he is dead.

Of course, this is coming from someone who was raised in the church, and I'm speaking of those ladies who are also members in the church.

I would never think that a lady in the church is not married to her "live-in, opposite sex person" or that she ran off from her former husband with the kids. Such actions would never be tollerated by any woman or man in our congregation.

 

I did say earlier what if he does not ask her to take his name. What if it doesn't matter one way or another to him? Everyone seems to assume the husband wants her to take his name and she has refused, that may not always be the case.

 

And I agree with you that it is between the two of them.

What I was referring to was your previous post, when you wrote this:

I would not fall out with anyone over such a thing, but my strong personal preference is as I stated, and that will flow into my marriage as well.

If I find a good Primitive Baptist girl, I have no doubts that this will not be an issue anyway.