Shunning

[Ben W]

Originally posted by delly:
Dr Bob, I felt this very thing when I got divorced, even though the cause was physical, verbal and mental abusive caused by alcoholism.
I stayed with him 22 years out of fear, but really because I had no where to go and no one to help me. Back then, there were no women's crisis centers and my family wouldn't help because they were also scared of him. The Lord finally gave me the courage to walk out even though he was saying he would kill me and my family if I did. I was not in church at that time because he wouldn't let me go.
Afterward I went to several churches before I found one that really welcomed me. In some churches it was like you could see the women pull their husbands closer when I walked by. I was 44 years old at the time. I was told that I should have stayed and helped him overcome his alcoholism and that I couldn't be a Christiam because I was breaking God's commandments. Everytime I left I did it with my head held high because I knew I was right and they were the hypocrites.
There are good churches with kind, loving people who did not judge me simply because I had to get a divorce to save my life. People need to understand that there are situations where Christians must do what is considered to be wrong in order to come back into service to God. Without the Lord's help I probably would be dead now. I had fought and fought to get back in church and the only way I could do that was to get out of my marriage because there was no way to salvage it.
I even had to move to another city and keep my home address secret in order to get on with my life. I am now in a wonderful church where everyone knows my story. They are so kind and loving to me. I can't think of being any other place.
By the way, my ex drank himself to death five years after my son and I left. He died alone and wasn't found for five days afterward. It's a sad way to go.

Delly, I was really saddened to read of your story, I cant begin to imagine what going through all of that must have been like for you.

May God restore you and bring to you the desires of your heart. May He use you powerfully to overcome the evil one that holds so many people in bondage. I am glad that you are in a great church where you have found acceptance, I am thinking that there are many people that could do with a friend like you.

 

[go2church]

go2church,
I'd suggest you read I Corinthians 5. Paul didn't want the believers to eat with this man or fellowship with him. If he were lost, then he would have heard the truth. Keeping some people around contaminates the church, and sin spreads. In the Bible, sin is so serious that Jesus said that if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you.

Are you serious? Somehow thinking shunning is ridiculous is the same as accepting and approving sin, just how do you make that leap? It is unfortunate that you seem to prefer the hit and run tactic of hammering with the truth forgetting the love and thinking your responsibility is complete. I don't care if he is "living" in sin (like any of us aren't) I would not/ will not shun it isn't consistent with the teachings of Jesus. He held is contempt for the religious folks (like you and me) not the common sinner!

 

[Johnv]

In the Bible, sin is so serious that Jesus said that if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you.

Jesus said "if YOUR hand". He did not say "if someone else's hand".

 

[delly]

Ben, I really appreciate your very kind words. We had some very hard times during those years and I didn't hold up well for about half of them. I'm ashamed to say I even tried to commit suicide once. When I finally turned everything over to God things didn't get better but I began to handle it all better and prayed harder than ever in my life. I knew that somehow God was going to deliver me from this hell I was in. Nothing slowed this man down; not by-pass surgery, not a mild stroke, not diabeties. God gave him every opportunity to change, but he would not. It finally just had to stop when he threatened our 19 year old son with jail for standing up to him and trying to help me. Somehow that gave me the courage to walk out. I told him I was leaving either upright or flat on my back on a stretcher. The choice was up to him. He really thought we would come back in a day or two, but when we didn't, he did everything he could to intimidate us. We just finally had to move away.

I thank God for leading me to the church I'm in now. For the first time in my life, I have made some very close friends and I spend lots of time with my family; something I was not allowed to do when I was married.

 

[Link]

Originally posted by go2church:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />go2church,

Are you serious? Somehow thinking shunning is ridiculous is the same as accepting and approving sin, just how do you make that leap? It is unfortunate that you seem to prefer the hit and run tactic of hammering with the truth forgetting the love and thinking your responsibility is complete. I don't care if he is "living" in sin (like any of us aren't) I would not/ will not shun it isn't consistent with the teachings of Jesus. He held is contempt for the religious folks (like you and me) not the common sinner! </font>[/QUOTE]Read I Corinthians 5, and II Corinthians 2 while you are at it, and tell me how you think what the early church was supposed to do was different from what you consider 'shunning' to be. Paul told the Corinthians not to fellowship with one who called himself a brother who was a fornicator, idolater, swindler, etc, not even to eat with him. How is that not shunning?

Btw, to see shunning in scripture look at Matthew 18. Shunning is not for sinners who don't profess Christ. It's for those who call themselves brothers but live in sin.