Sinful things that children are taught

Some of the many things we are teaching our children that are wrong:

Coveting(this is a biggie at our house,we don't realize how often we all do this!)

Pride-(being self centered and not putting others before ourselves)

Disobedience to God and parents

Seeking attention for accomplishments...my girls are very bright and can do many things well,we are trying to stay focused on glorifying God,not ourselves. God has gifted them,use it for God's glory.

These are a few things,and of course anything else that comes up we try to give biblical examples and scripture to help them see God's ways.

 

A note to young parents here: the more calm you stay regarding something your child brings up, the more they will be willing to trust you with things that bother them or they are curious about in later years. When you want to pop your eyes open to four times their normal size and holler "WHAT is that you were talking about at school?" or "WHY on earth are you asking me about that?" bite your tongue hard if you must, smile, and say, "That's an interesting subject. Were you talking about that with your friends?"

I'm sure Laurenda approached pot that way. I am mentioning this because I spent a few years being shocked at some things before I learned to stay calm. It's when you stay calm the kids are willing to talk

...and to listen!

In our home, truth was probably the most stressed quality while they were growing up. I wanted to be able to trust my kids to tell me the truth. Of course they didn't always, but that didn't stop us from stressing its importance!

Courtesy and respect for others probably came next -- all others included siblings, too!

I guess we actually concentrated more on what was the right way to act than what was the wrong way. I know this sounds funny, but I also wanted them to know good table manners and good social graces so they would be accepted anywhere life took them. For me, that is part of courtesy and respect for others, though, so they feel comfortable around you.

We taught them to care -- about our animals, people, the house, the yard, friends, enemies... and that pretty much wiped out the necessity to tell them to avoid the bad. Bad things always hurt those or that you should be caring about and maybe for! Or they hurt yourself. And so we taught that there was only one body they had been given and to take care of it. They had seen me on crutches because of my leg and five of our six all have some kind of disability (five of the kids are adopted), so they did know early to take care of what they had.

Looking back, yeah, I think we just about always concentrated on the positive rather than the negative. The negative was brought up in discussions, very often, as they grew older, regarding friends and their confusion as to why others behaved in some rather rotten ways. So we would talk about sin nature and the natural tendency of man. Three of the six ended up doing a tremendous amount of evangelizing in high school -- both my daughters and my oldest son. The other three were brain damaged, in trouble with the law, or retarded. It made for an interesting combination.

 

I stand amazed that my children became the wonderful adults that they are and setting good examples for their children.

I think I honestly blundered through the child rearing years. I have to give all credit to God because we did not have a clue about how to be good parents. Even though I taught school for several years, I didn't know the first thing about being a parent.

The only thing that my daughter ever complained about was that I had taught her brother to cook and take care of himself (if he didn't have a wife), but we didn't teach her how to repair her car if it broke down or change a tire.

 

He t'ain't jumped back in real quick to claify nuttin' so PTW may have meant what he said. I'll take a fat preacher over a gay one anytime!

 

Your right Helen... I try to handle everything that way with my kids. She doesn't know that it made me mad that her teacher told her about drugs...only my husband...and now you all know. I wish the school would stick to teaching acedemic and artisitc subjects.

Everything my kids know about drugs they learned from school. Everything my kids learned about racial prejudice they learned in school. I guess I should be glad that they haven't taught them about "alternative lifestyles"

Laurenda

[ March 26, 2003, 07:56 PM: Message edited by: Wisdom Seeker ]

 

It appears that my scroll missed PTWs response. He has jumped in to clarify, but mostly I wanted to be sure we did not answer for him or make him say what he did not want to say.

 

PTW: I apologized and ask you to forgive me. I did not see a response.

Was what you just posted suppose to mean that since I am the only one who did not "get it" that I am somehow not very smart?

I am NOT accusing you. I am simply asking for another clarification.


Sue

 

sue,

i too took it the wrong way at first and had to read it over again. i thought it must have been april fool's day or somethin'

 

Preach, how about editing the subject line to say something like,

Wrong things we teach our kids

or something like that. The wording as it stands is pretty confusing.

 

I understood what PTW said completely and I agree 100%. I was about ready to step in a clarify things but Preach did so himself. I would like to step in now and see if we can make this a happier thread. Sue has apologized for jumping all over PTW and asked him to forgive her, to my knowledge no forgiveness has been issued but I do pray that one will be. Sue I appreciate your reaching out and admitting you were wrong, thank you. God will bless you for it.

Murph

 

Okay already! Back to the topic!

i teach my three yr old son thhat playing with guns is wrong. I don't know if other parents out there would agree.

Guns are for hurting people. And children are desensitised to the violence when they play with toy guns.

 

Guns are also used to obtain food, especially for families that don't have enough income to go to the store and buy hamburger all the time. A $20 hunting tag sets them up with meat for quite a while.

Guns are also used for protection in the wild. Nothing helps more when a bear is charging you than a magnum load in his nose.

If you're going to teach your child that guns are used to hurt people, you need to teach them that baseball bats are also used to hurt people, bricks are also used to hurt people, and cars are also used to hurt people.

It's what people do with the things God gives them, or the things they've created with the intelligence God gives them, that determines their usefulness. The things themselves are neither evil or good; they're simply things. That is what we need to teach our children: That a cannon can be used to protect, or to destroy.

 

You're absolutely right, Don. Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

Bill C.

 

Children are taught that a man in a red and white suit magically flies around on a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer who gives "good" kids toys.

At Christmas time, does Saint Nick take any glory away from the birth of our Saviour? Of course he does.

Children are taught that a cute little bunny rabbit hides eggs in our yards and in the house once a year. On resurrection Sunday, does the Easter bunny take any glory away from the death, burial, and resurrection of our Saviour? Of course "he" does.

As my pastor likes to tell us, he doesn't want us parents to have to "unteach" anything that we teach them while they are young. A lot of people say that they will let their kids believe in SC and TEB and, as they age, set them straight. A lot of people say "I believed in SC and TEB and I turned out just fine".

Well, guess what, I admit that I'm one of those parents that is going to have to explain something to my kids as they age . I told my oldest son the truth about SC and TEB at age 7. He still likes to play along with his younger siblings since they still believe in the lie we have taught them. Yes, it is difficult reading what I just typed, but that is the reality of it.

I've got to honest, even if I am admitting a fault.

 

in my cultural context, guns are for re-enacting the gun battles the child has watched on some hollywood movie. Not hunting animals for food.

 

I agree with you Su Wei. There are VERY few people who own guns of any sort who actually use them to provide food for the family, let alone to ward off a charging bear. (Most bears prefer to amble off and not charge, anyway!)

But I noticed something interesting when my boys were growing up. Despite the fact that we did not allow violent shows on TV, despite the fact that they were never given guns, they would find appropriately shaped sticks and 'shoot' each other anyway! It wasn't an obsession, but it was interesting that it happened at all.

Mostly, we were happy to see, they made forts in the fields in back of us or raced around outside doing various other things. Still, the gun thing was interesting for me to see happen.

About Santa Claus, we did that one, but we did it for a reason. First of all, it did not take away from the primary focus on Jesus. That was always the focus of the entire season for us. But the reason we did Santa was to start them understanding that some gifts in life have nothing to do with being related to someone or having to give something. Some gifts are pure gifts. As the kids got older, Santa became a mix of an ancient historical character (which is true), and so we could talk about history back then; and he also became a symbol of giving for the sake of giving, or giving just because of love. And this we used as a picture of what God had done for us in Jesus Christ.

So instead of 'undoing a lie' when they got older, they were simply helped to see what SC was a picture of -- sort of the same way God used real things in the OT to help demonstrate the spiritual truths Jesus would present in the NT. SC was a real historical person -- not at the North Pole and not with reindeer, etc., but in history a real person. It was fun to talk about that. And it was fun, as they got older, to watch them start to grasp how God has used incidents in the OT to explain truths in the NT. I heard more than once, "Oh, you mean like Santa Claus."

They enjoyed the growing up and understanding part of it and never did consider it a lie -- just a picture for little kids and then they grew out of being a little kid and were told more and more. They loved the growing up and understanding part. My third son still calls SC "Santa Because" -- because the gifts are given 'just because.' He'll be 21 in a few weeks....

About the Easter Bunny -- we always treated it as a fun joke. "Well, guys, it is SAID that this great giant bunny hops around on the night before Easter and leaves eggs and candy all around for kids. That's what I heard, anyway"

"Oh Mom, that's so dumb! We know you have the candy!"

But we had fun with it anyway, always as a joke.

That, too, was never a matter of lying or not lying. Just having fun. As they got older we would dye some eggs and then embed them in challah bread that we made and braided ourselves for gifts for friends and relatives. Now THAT was really special! We have some great memories where the challah is concerned!

For us it was important that the kids not become paranoid about things, so we tried to treat holidays casually but fun whereas our faith was important and serious.