Single? Christian?

[James_Newman]

I decided that I should start running public service messages on the banner ad, I'm thinking about this one:

Am I the only one who thinks Christian dating services are out of line?

 

[Dr. Bob]

Why? Do they promote fornication?

 

[MargoWriter]

Some services are out of line . . . Some are not. Some have out of line people on them . . . Some have good people and bad people on them.

I personally know one couple who met through Eharmony--a very godly couple, man is in his late 30's the woman in her late 20's or early 30's. They are getting married soon.

I think it can be a good thing. But can also be a bad thing, I suppse as well. You have to be careful.

I haven't got a problem with the banner you've got there though.

 

[James_Newman]

Originally posted by Dr. Bob:
Why? Do they promote fornication?

That's a good question. Better yet, I wonder if we can show a biblical example of 'dating' as we see it today. Is it proper for a man and woman who are not married to spend a lot of time together before marriage, ostensibly to find out if they are 'compatible', and does such a familiarity tend to tempt a couple beyond what would be seemly for Christians? Especially for teens/young adults. Older Christians who are more mature and perhaps have lost spouses may be better able to resist the temptation to 'try before you buy' but it seems that pre-marital sex is a big problem in churches just as much as it is in the world. Is there a better way for people to choose who they will marry other than dating?

 

[Spoudazo]

I don't really think that banner ad would get the message across. Just my opinion.

 

[rustynail]

All right. For the Gen Xer's out there it's called "hooking up", not dating. Personally after looking at some of the women who advertise on the Christian singles websites, a majority of them don't fit my criteria. I see women who are single and have children, divorcees, and some other non Christian values. Now if they were not a Christian then and got saved after this immorality, that is a different story. OK, so everyone is a sinner and tend to fall back on our fleshly desires, but I don't think it should be displayed on a website like this. Personally, you can find good and bad on any singles website, whether it be christian or secular. I seem to be a little offended by a banner like that.

 

[TC]

I think you are looking for motes in other people's eyes. You would be better served to get all the beams out of yours first. While there certainly can be dangers, most (if not all) can be eliminated by simple measures. I would prefer that dating only take place in larger group settings so proper accountability can take place. The two people would never be alone together so the temptations can be greatly reduced. The world won't agree with that, but that shouldn't stop us from doing the right thing.

While some have argued on eliminating dating all together and want to see some form of arranged marriages instead. This is a cultural issue. There is no command in the Bible demanding only arranged marriages.

 

[Bro. James Reed]

I have used a Christian dating service before.

It worked for the intended purpose, that is, to introduce me to at least one good, Christian girl/woman.

Her name was Carey and we went out a number of times. Unfortunately, she lived around Dallas and I live in Houston. Such a long distance was a big hinderance to any further develpoment.

Add the fact that she is staunch Southern Baptist and I'm very staunch Primitive Baptist, which led to some interesting "discussions" and we both could just tell that dating was not going to work for us.

We still email each other sometimes, and her mother sends me stuff all of the time still.

I see absolutely nothing wrong with Christian dating services. There is a reason that these services exist. It is because Christian people are fed up with the "dating" scene, and people expecting to get a "homerun" with someone they are dating. Someone uses a Christian service knowing what the others using the service expect of someone they are dating.

 

[dianetavegia]

Originally posted by James_Newman:
I decided that I should start running public service messages on the banner ad, I'm thinking about this one:

Am I the only one who thinks Christian dating services are out of line?

I think you're assuming too much! I dated and didn't fornicate! There are Christians who are able to control themselves and prevent circumstances where any sinful activity would take place!

 

[PastorSBC1303]

Originally posted by James_Newman:
I decided that I should start running public service messages on the banner ad

You got too much time on your hands....

 

[James_Newman]

Originally posted by PastorSBC1303:
</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by James_Newman:
I decided that I should start running public service messages on the banner ad

You got too much time on your hands....

</font>[/QUOTE]lol

Allright, so everyone thinks that there is nothing wrong with Christians dating, and that there is no reason why Christians can't date without fornicating. I would agree, it is perfectly possible to date without fornicating. But I would be interested to know if there is any biblical example for dating as we do in our culture. Is it OK to date without the intention of marriage?

 

[swaimj]

I, also, know a couple who met on e-Harmony and plan to marry this summer. My girl and me! So I think, and I'm sure I'm biased, that e-Harmony is a great concept!

As for being Christian and single? Just as the divorce rate in the church seems to mimick the rising divorce rate in American culture, the rise of "singleness" has risen in the church as it has in culture. That rise is due in large part to single Christians adopting non-Biblical paradigms of success as the measure for their own lives. The scriptures teach that marriage is honorable and the only scriptural injunction I know of that discourages marriage is in I Cor where Paul cites a specific circumstance (probably economic hardship) as a reason to refrain from marriage. Singles are not delaying marriage due to economic hardship today so much as they delay because they want to have careers and they want to AVOID having children. How about that for motivators: Get rich and avoid deep, meaningful relationships which might require you to change! That sounds like our culture, but it does not sound like Christianity!

My experieince on e-Harmony helped me to realize that part of the reason I was single was that I had adopted some un-biblical thinking of my own in regard to relationships. The service helped to point that out in my life and when I, by God's grace, corrected it...wallah! I met a great girl!

 

[Scarlett O.]

Originally posted by swaimj:
I, also, know a couple who met on e-Harmony and plan to marry this summer. My girl and me! So I think, and I'm sure I'm biased, that e-Harmony is a great concept!

As for being Christian and single? Just as the divorce rate in the church seems to mimick the rising divorce rate in American culture, the rise of "singleness" has risen in the church as it has in culture. That rise is due in large part to single Christians adopting non-Biblical paradigms of success as the measure for their own lives. The scriptures teach that marriage is honorable and the only scriptural injunction I know of that discourages marriage is in I Cor where Paul cites a specific circumstance (probably economic hardship) as a reason to refrain from marriage. Singles are not delaying marriage due to economic hardship today so much as they delay because they want to have careers and they want to AVOID having children. How about that for motivators: Get rich and avoid deep, meaningful relationships which might require you to change! That sounds like our culture, but it does not sound like Christianity!

My experieince on e-Harmony helped me to realize that part of the reason I was single was that I had adopted some un-biblical thinking of my own in regard to relationships. The service helped to point that out in my life and when I, by God's grace, corrected it...wallah! I met a great girl!

 

[Scarlett O.]

Sorry for the double post.

Originally posted by swaimj:
That rise is due in large part to single Christians adopting non-Biblical paradigms of success as the measure for their own lives.

Singles are not delaying marriage due to economic hardship today so much as they delay because they want to have careers and they want to AVOID having children. How about that for motivators: Get rich and avoid deep, meaningful relationships which might require you to change! That sounds like our culture, but it does not sound like Christianity!

I have just one question. What color is the cotton pickin' sky on your planet? Because here on Earth, it's blue.

That might be your testimony, but it's not mine.

At one time in my life, I had a great desire to have children. In my 30's, because I wasn't married, I even looked into international adoption. At 43, it's too late for me to be a mother. I never avoided having children. And that's a painful part of my life.

I also have had meaningful relationships in my life. I have never avoided marriage. It just hasn't been my lot thus far to be a wife.

Yes, I have a career. God called me to one and equipped me to the talents to pursue it and achieve for His exaltation. What on earth does that have to do with me not being a wife and mother?

You don't think married people have non-Biblical measures of success in their lives, too? Why do you thnk that divorce is rampant in the church? The whole body of Christ has had a non-Biblical paradigm shift. That's why it is not always easy to tell a believer from a non-believer anymore.

You made some blatantly stereotypical remarks that are not characterisitic of all single Christians and are characteristic of some married Christians.

There are millions of single Christians who are desperately lonely and long for a family. We are not all swinging from the chandeliers as the church would think we are.

It never ceases to amaze me how Christians view single people. Never.

Peace-

Scarlett O.
&lt;&gt;&lt;

 

[PastorSBC1303]

Originally posted by James_Newman:

Allright, so everyone thinks that there is nothing wrong with Christians dating, and that there is no reason why Christians can't date without fornicating. I would agree, it is perfectly possible to date without fornicating. But I would be interested to know if there is any biblical example for dating as we do in our culture. Is it OK to date without the intention of marriage?

There is no Biblical example of Christians discussing theology, etc on a Bulletin Board online, or using the computer to do any type of work....so by your logic, you better turn in your computer and get off the internet.

I think all of us would agree that Christians fornicating is wrong and a problem. However, I do not think it has anything to do with dating. If people are going to fornicate, they are going to do it whether they date, court, or do nothing.

 

[dianetavegia]

Sometimes a date is just a date. I went to a few basketball games with Bill Youngblood. We didn't even hold hands but we both enjoyed the games.

Scarlett, I received my last baby on my 44th birthday. You're not too old!

 

[gb93433]

Originally posted by Scarlett O.:


It never ceases to amaze me how Christians view single people. Never.

So you are bothered at what people think of you? If so, then you are not secure in Christ.

Quit worrying about how people view other single people. Anyone who has been reading the Bible knows otherwise. Start discipling people and you won't have enough time to even think about how you see how others may view single people. Two of my friends have never married and are doing a great work for Christ.

Sometime read the story of the schoolteachers, Miss Mills and Miss Thomas, in Dawson Trotman's life. It is found at http://www.bibleteacher.org/Dm118_8.htm

 

[Scarlett O.]

Brother, you have unfortunately misread my post.

I never worry about what people think about me, personally. And I have no security issues with my relationship with Christ.

I am just like your two friends in that I also have a great work for Christ that God called me to.

I was simply bringing to someone's attention that he was in the wrong by making blanket statements that were stereotypical.

That's all.

Peace-
S.O.

 

[rustynail]

TC--
I'm just your old fashioned fundamental Baptist preacher, with my normal old fashioned fundamental preacher "Christian" values. From what I got from your reply, does this mean that you condone two unmarried people living together, having babies out of wedlock, etc., etc.?

 

[swaimj]

I have just one question. What color is the cotton pickin' sky on your planet? Because here on Earth, it's blue.

You posted this at 4:31AM. Is the sky in Louisiana blue at that time of day?