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So When Is Enough?

HAMel

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Thank you annsni for your heart felt comments.

When my daughter was 17 she went over the fence the first time. She was 18 the second time while going over the fence and came home with her first daughter. She then took off with a guy I'll refer to here as SFB (don't ask me to decipher that moniker) and came home later with three more kids after he dumped her in the Garden of Eden Trailer Park with no money and no food.

She straighten up finally and now at age 44 holds a permanent job and pays her own way. However, for the first 10 years of the grand children's lives they lived with us. Then my daughter bought a house and they moved across town. With my daughter working night shifts (Prison Guard) the kids ran wild as there was no father in the home. Drinking, dope smoking, cops showing up a 3 AM..., typical nonsense one can expect out of kids left to their own devices

The oldest grand daughter had two kids. This U.S. Marine clown married her, went on a six month deployment, came home and dumped her. Emotionally bad situation but now she's got the third child and while the father of the child is trying to do the proper thing, mom is nuts and making it very hard. I do not see a happy ending to all of this. In the meantime we are taking responsibility for her first daughter, our great grand daughter.

We just ran off our number three grand daughter because my wife caught her and her friend smoking dope out behind our garage. The number two grand daughter had to get married and is currently living in Germany with her husband as he's in the Air Force. We only hope this will work out.

Number four grand child, a boy, dropped out of school at the end of the 11th grade and while he's a good kid (sometimes) he's quite lazy, still lives with his mother, has had several "Full Time" jobs but quits after a week or so as he's smarter than Lassie and everyone else is dumb. Besides, a Full Time job interferes with sleeping late in the morning.

I could go on and on but enough already. In short, taking care of these kids with their Christian Educations, uniforms, books, transportation, food, vacations, church functions and bankrupted us. Our hope is that once they mature they might realize the error of their youth. That is if their minds hold up after consumption of all the marijuana. You know, that magical week that opens their minds; enlightens their thoughts; causes them to float around without having to buy a ticket. That stuff that never hurt anyone. Yes, they all consider themselves smarter than Lassie and Rin-Tin-Tin put together.

I certainly have no reservations when it comes to helping others but those who take advantage showing no interest in improving their own situation..., there comes a point. Two of the daughters have returned multiple times to live for free but enough already. They are all gone now and not coming back.

In fact, we are seriously considering selling the homestead, buying a nice 5th Wheel and living out our days with just enough room for the two of us..., which of course, depends upon my health.
 

annsni

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I believe you have done plenty for your family and it's wonderful that you tried to lay a solid foundation for them. They are adults and have made choices and I think it's fine to say "no more". In these cases where they are out totally, it's best for them to stay out. If they need help with a deposit on an apartment and you feel like helping, that's fine. If you want to give them some gifts for Christmas, that's great. But you are really under no obligation Biblically to continue to support their poor choices.
 

HAMel

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
annsni..., that' how I see it. Parents can only do so much but it's still tough, on occasion, to say no but we must do it. During all of this we did pay for our number 3 child to attend Pensacola Christian College and she walked away not owing a dime. She now teaches at a Christian School. We have a son in Henderson, Nevada.

...we can only do so much and then it's sink or swim.
 

righteousdude2

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
I didn't say I knew the Biblical position. HAMel did.

Answer the question ... you always jump in, both feet, and now someone has noticed you jumped into the shallow end, and while pretending to be in over your head, you actually are in over you head in shallow water, because you don't have the answer, only rhetoric that serves to stir up controversy You can't answer the question, because you don't know the answer. Biblically or morally. You only know controversy.
 

Aaron

Member
Site Supporter
All of us feel obligated to assist our family members from time to time. Our immediate and extended family often know no bounds when it comes to asking for help. I am fully aware of the Biblical position on this but the heart often has a firm grip on us when it comes to helping out.

So when is enough?
How do you determine when enough, is enough?
When you're enabling unruly, bad and immoral behavior.
 
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