Spiritual abuse?

[Danette]

Brian,

Some people would see the imbalances immediately and promptly leave. They probably had very healthy and balanced upbringing, or were somehow taught that they didn't have to "obey" someone just because they say so.

However, people who are raised in churches and/or homes where "doing right" equals absolute unquestioning obedience find this a whole different story. And if they have an abusive background they are even more at the mercy of this type of leadership.

Joy's analogy of leaving this type of church being very much like going through a messy divorce is quite accurate. It's really hard to describe how traumatic it is. One part of you is saying this situation is wrong but another part is saying that standing up against an authority is wrong.

-- Danette

 

[Don]

Or, some of these people we're describing have really good outward appearances.

The man I described (and I invite you to re-look at my post, Brian, and read it carefully) really and truly preaches from the Word of God--when he's not using it to substantiate his personal views. He just has a problem practicing what he preaches.

Why did it take so long? It only took about 7 months, actually. Why that long? Because the town I'm currently in has a population of about 45,000 people, and there is an extremely limited number of independent baptist churches--only 5, to be exact. Of those 5, one may as well call itself a Pentecostal church; one is a "family business"; one is the church which has the pastor I described; one has the same problem as that church (pastor controls everything); and the fifth one, the one I'm now a member of, hadn't started when I joined the one that I eventually left. It came together about a month after I joined the other, and I didn't even know it existed until I left the other church.

The southern Baptist churches? Yep, there's quite a few; but the main one here (boasts a membership of over 1,100) is heavy on the Calvinistic principle of predestination, and 98% of the others are either family businesses or have the same problem as the church I left.

I'll put it to you like this, Brian: If there had been another choice, I would never have joined the church I did. But at the time, there didn't seem to be any other choice.

And let me reiterate: I THANK GOD that I attended that church, and for the lessons I took away from it.