Thank you all for the replies and help. It has helped. When I had said "earn my place in heaven" I didn't exactly mean it like it came out. I do understand and believe that Jesus died for our sins and thus earned our places in heaven for us, but I meant more like I deserve it, well that's not right either... I want to live a godly life so I personally feel somewhat deserving of Jesus's sacrifice.
Don't worry about trying to feel you deserve it, that is just one of the basic truths we need to understand better...we don't deserve Christ dying in our place.
Christ didn't "earn our place in Heaven," rather, our place in Heaven is due to His dealing with sin. All of us were guilty and undeserving, this is why we view our salvation as by grace alone. When we go to Heaven, we don't have the "right" to be there, so to speak, we are there by grace independent of what we have done, and even more so in spite of what we have done. I'm not trying to sound like I am nit-picking, birdlover99, just want to point out we will never be deserving of what Christ has done for us, and understanding that helps us to set aside thoughts that might lead us to seek to "repay" Christ through what we do or accomplish. Those good works will come, because you were created in Christ Jesus to do good works. So just be patient and you will see God's grace working in your life as you grow.
But I understand what you mean. Perhaps what you might be looking for is that place where you can feel you are doing your reasonable service. I think most of us feel that way. From the temporal perspective, we want to try to repay in whatever way we can, that which He has done for us. We can't repay that debt, and God does not expect us to, all He expects is obedience. And obedience is not something we wake up and decide to do one day, birdlover99, it is a hard-fought war filled with battles, some we win, some we lose. The War has a Plan of Strategy we can refer to, that is the Word of God, and we face those battles best when we understand the battleground better.
When I was saved I was a drunk and drug addict. God took those things out of my life. I thought, at the time, that not using was a sure sign of my salvation. I thought these were the toughest battle I would face, and was very happy to finally be free from those things.
But then the Lord started showing me the sin in my life. He is still doing that. Drugs and alcohol were just one battle in the war we enter, and while I don't diminish how tough a battle that is, my perspective categorized sin. I found out that there were going to be other battles I would face, which at the time I was saved, I was not even aware of then.
So again, be patient, and don't expect too much from yourself. The things God intends for you to accomplish...He will prepare you for. The battles you face...He will be there to guide you through. While there is a reasonable service we offer up to God, let's not forget we are children of God, and our Heavenly Father will train us up in the way we should go. He does not demand of Man anything that He Himself is not willing to do, so trust in your Father to help you as you grow. He saved you by grace, He will also keep you in grace. He did for us that which we could never do, and for that there is no restitution, no demand for repayment, for He is the one that paid the price for us, despite how undeserving we were. That is the love of God, unequaled by man.
God bless.
