Teen Females and modesty:

ummmmmmm a friend of mine who is getting married close to my bday(I am photographing her wedding) met this really cute guy when she was barfy feeling/looking at teh pharmacy getting a prescription filled... she's 22 years old... and he helped her out and they are now engaged.... she was in sweats... she is VERY PRETTY when she has to be, but he prefers the no make up look on her... and she looks extremely different now that she's caught her guy and she looks better... and I think that's what he was getting at when he explained it to her.

yeah Christian guys are male... but they should be acting more like God... I know a lot of guys who, yes enjoy looking at "hot chicks", but they also prefer a more "natural" look on a girl... they always comment about how jeans that hug the butt make the girl's butt look to big LOL

 

In several recent studies for this same topic in the women's forum I ahve shown from the original greek language that modest apparel does not mean long flowing garment, it just can not be supported with scripture. there is no need for you to feel ashamed or worried about wearing pants/jeans, of course as long as they aren't skin tight, or what we used to call hip huggers, I notice they are back in style no idea what they are calling them now.

katie's quote

I then went to a greek lexicon and found the meannings much more stronger stated, and reinforced it does not mean long flowing robe.

Here is a recent thread on the wone's forum that has a lot of good bible study given to support we are not commanded to wear dresses only. And one especially good piece showing from scripture that we are not to listen to those who enslave us in legalisim of following O.T. laws.

http://www.baptistboard.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=14;t=000839;p=1

 

Remember that only God can give true conviction through the indwelling Holy SPirt, not people, do not allow any person give you false conviction makeing you feel you must follow what people say, and not what God's word really says. False conviction is not from God and you have nothing to repent for,a nd nothing to change until God Himslef tells you He wants you too.

 

Okay, I'm not young and most of my kids are way older than you guys but I'd like to add something. First of all... listen to Katie. She's right!

Don't allow strangers on some board to speak louder than the Holy Spirit! You know NOTHING about us but what we tell you or post. I could be some ugly man in prison for all you know! Someone can quote some scripture or tell you what preacher XYZ told them..... but that's not always for you! God will lead you in all your ways.

That being said, I'd like to add that I've known so many new Christians in my adult life. (I've been a Christian for 44 years.) New Christians, especially those who had been in more sinful lifestyles, want so badly to please God and be good that they sometimes return to legalism in an effort to be the very best Christian they can be. However, in doing that, they lessen the power of the cross by returning to the Law! Jesus paid it all on Calvary and we are not under the Law anymore!

Read your Bible and pray. Be quiet and listen for God to speak to YOU. Do not be swayed by the convictions of others!

Again, that being said, use common sense! Girls, those shirts and jeans that leave all your belly showing is nothing more than a filthy billboard advertising sex to the boys. Cover it! Pants that are too tight, same thing! You can look really nice without looking like Britney Spears.

Keep yourselves pure! Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit!

Diane

 

ummmmmmmmm....we're talking about two different things. You're addressing a single situation and I'm looking at population dynamics addressed from a mountain of research in human sexuality conducted in the past 20 years. Your situation is valid and supported by kinesics theories. Research has shown that although men are preconditioned by our culture to seek out the young, thin, attractive female - men tend to be more sexually satisfied with women who are less than society's ideal. The study of which I refer to involved a survey of 180 courples representing a cross section of society. 90 of those couples were men who were married to very atrrative women, and the other 90 were married to averagely attrative women. Of the 90 who were married to the very atttractive women the majority of responses rating the couple's sexual perfomance from the man's point of view was acceptable to average. However the majority of repondants from the average group rated their spouses performance between good and very good.
Recent studies show that reasons men and women seek out relationships with each other is strongly governed by reproductive biology. There is also a relationship that involves cultural influences such as the "ideal" as discuused earlier. And yes I know that families are on average having less children nowadays, but a temporary change in cultural practices does not easily override or shunt thousands of years of selected genetic traits. Of the figures I'm about to give I will make the statement that they represent trends in the population representative of a majority of the population. There are always exceptions to the rule but chracteristics of a population are not defined by the exceptions. They only mean that the frequency or the observed feature is prevalent enough that if you pulled a sample at random from the population then you would expect it to have said characteristics.
The statistics are also not representative of my personal bias or not dirrected in any way at implying or evaluating an individual or to make a qualitative assessment of that individual.
Studies have shown that most(remember these are means) women's reproductive cycles are at their peak between the ages of 15 and 25. Many women in this age range experience "hyper fertility"
and can become pregnant at any time during the menstrual cycle. But at 25 the ovulation frequency lessens and when women reach their 30's ther is an observed drop in fertility levels. Yes there are women who get pregnant in their 40's, but remember they are exceptions. Every society in history has endorsed ideals that represent the model of desirability of mates with repect to reproductive success. In antiquity larger women, what society would consider obese by todays standards, were in fashion. Thats because such women were economically sufficient enough to have access to food, and were generally healthier than those of limited resouces. Today such women are generally associated with poverty, and viewed as wanting in the areas of integrity and personal responsibility. Societies model has become the Victoia's secret woman with large breasts and a thin waist. Men are conditioned from youth to place high values on these attributes because such women can produce children that are, like herself, considered attrative - thus increasing their chances of reproductive success. The woman's sensual attributes are also viewed as someone who has been "natuarlly blessed" with good genetic characteristics and is a person of integrity and responsibility. Men also have a "hunter mentality" and weve all heard of the "trophy wife " phenomena. A man often will evaluate his manliness based opon the quality of a catch he can get with respect to society's ideal.
Women usually place a higher value on love and security when it comes to relationships. They are the ones who have to bear and take care of the children and their vulnerabilities during such periods prompt them to behave in that manner.
A recent survey examining demographic and economic data revealed a startling trend in our nations larger cities. More women in their 30's are single than men. Other surveys conducted have shown that a man in his 30's or 40's is over 4 times more likely to have a relationship with someone of the opposite sex 10 - 15 years younger than himself than his female 30-40's counterpart. What does this all mean? Well many researchers point out that men in their 30's - 40's are more mature and financially independent than their younger peers. As such they are generally more able to provide for a woman's emotional needs as well as economically. Women on the other hand begin a biological decline nearing their 30's as previously stated and youthful looks generally begin to wane during that period. In summation - in our culture men become potentially more attractive to women as they age and head in to their 30's and 40's and women inversely become less attrative to men as they do so. Larger implications - a woman who takes 10 years out of her life to pursue a career may be significantly reducing her chances of finding fulfillment in marriage and/or having children. Bottom line in all of this - guys place high importance on looks as they are culturally conditioned to do so. But of course thats not the whole picture but someting we must contend with nontheless.

 

when you brought up the term "Christian Males" I decided to stand up for them. IF they trully are christians they're not going to be as fickle as the world. Call me naieve but from the guys I know it's been the case. Sure the "younger Christians" have those problems...

so no, we're not talking about two different things. I replied to your Christian Male topic... not some poll that was given to men of all walks of life...

 

Chritian males are human nontheless and recent surveys conducted by Christian organizations have found that the divorce rates among Christian couples is not remarkably different from those among secular society. And if Christian males demonstively behave in similar fasion to non-christian males in some respects then it would seem to call into question hypotheses that suggest that they are immune to other infuences bearing on the fact that they are christian males. In any case more study it would appear needs to be done.

 

Since when should girls be competing for a guy's attention? Do what's right and trust God that He will provide you with the right mate.

I agree with Abby-if a guy sees two girls, one dressed properly and the other immodestly, and he allows himself to be attracted to the imodest girl he is not worth the trouble to win him-obviously the modest girl doesn't have what it takes to make him happy anyway. Dressing immodestly, or even thinking it is somehow necessary, to attract attention is the attitude of a harlot.

Warrior, I think you're missing out on the fact that this is a Christian discussion forum. Yes, we are totally depraved and have sinful natures that constantly need to be held in check, but where does the power to do this come from? God. In and of ourselves, we are powerless to resist the temptations of the world but with God ALL things are possible. The bottom line is, modern tendencies, studies, and demographics don't mean a thing to the Christian and certainly have no bearing on modest dress. Girls need to trust God that He will bring along the right young man in the right time rather than going with the flow in hopes that they make a good catch based on nothing but physical appearances.

Dilemma? What dilemma? Do right and trust God-don't base practice on demographics.

 

Yes and that is primarily the reason people such as those suffering from schizoprenia for years were treated as though they were demon possessed by well meaning Christians instead of steered into programs and treated with proper medication which has been CLINICALLY PROVEN to work in most cases. Honestly, if you have pnemonia are you going to sit around and pray for God to heal you and never go to the doctor? Or are you going to make an appointment and get some antibiotics? I thik we all know the answer. So then it would appear that studies, surveys, and research IS of interest to the Christian after all, wouldn't you agree?

 

Haven't been to many church singles groups have you? God can work in your life but your stuborness and unwillingness to exercise common sense can provide roadblocks. If I were in a situation where I was seeking a relationship and I was in a Church where 98% of the congregation was age 65 or older I would be compeeled to seek out a Church with more young people so as to increase the chances that such a situation might occur.
And discarding studies and research because you don't understand or don't want to deal with them is an earmark of immaturity. Go to school and you'll figure out that you don't really know as much as you think you do.

 

Actually I must defend us Christian males

1 - yes looks are the most important thing to us - we wont lie - we admit it - but its not the only thing

2 - Personality - if you aint got that - no guy is spending time around you

3 - Christian - if you aint - I aint dating ya

4 - Intelligence - Yes for the first day or so of a relationship the brains of a girl dont even enter the equation - but since I tend just to be content holding a young lass while watching TV/Movies/Sky - conversation inevitably ensues - I DETEST people who cant carry on a conversation on a variety of topics Even if it is just fashion

5 - Spine - spineless girls are nice - but when I want a serious relationship - I want someone with opinions who is willing to stick to her guns

as pertaining to dressing sexily - trust me the right dress is "ALMOST" as sexy as a well placed bikini; and easier on our nerves as we tend to get semi-possessive, and revert to our more base instincts of my girl you no look or me smash *grunt*

 

I am not a teen lady I am a teen guy but You Christian teen ladies need !!! and I stress need to get Leslie Ludy's book "Authentic Beauty" this book will change your lives and I challenge all of you to get it. Has every thing to do with what you all go through. Also check out other books by her and her husband.

 

There sure are a lot of differing opinions on this! I won't take one side or the other on the pants/dresses issue, but I'll give you something to think about when you're picking out clothes.
Get dressed in the morning and then go look in a full length mirror. Think about being married, then think about how you would feel if another woman was wearing what you were wearing in front of your husband. Would you be ok with it or would you want to want to throw a blanket over her?
Gina

 

Oh wow Gina! That really makes ya think! That's GOOD advice!
~Miss Abby
Proverbs 31:30

 

Well thats great advice, thankx SO much

 

YEAH THAT IS GREAT ADVICE!!!!