I have had the book before me for at least a decade. It's The British Particular Baptists 1638-1910. One chapter deals with the life of Andrew Fuller （1754-1815。 It's written by Tom Nettles. He was married twice and fathered a total of 17. Most died very young. One story touched me. He has a daughter named Sarah who was born Dec. 7,1779. Once when she was eight months he had eye-contact with her as she laid in her cradle with a smile. He was awe-struck and picked her up and dedicated her to the Lord as the darling of his soul.
She was a very obedient child and only "had to smack her once as Nettles relates.
Here is what Fuller tells us of a conversation he had with his daughter in March of 1786.
'What do you wish me to pray for, my dear?' said I. She answered, 'That God would bless me, and keep me, and save my soul.' 'Do you think then, that you are a sinner?' 'Yes, father.' Fearing lest she did not understand what she said, I asked her, 'What is sin, my dear?' She answered, 'Telling a story.' I comprehended this, and it went to my heart. 'What, then, (I said,) you remember, do you, my having corrected you once, for telling a story?' 'Yes, father.' 'And are you grieved for having so offended God?' 'Yes, father.' I asked her, if she did not try to pray herself. She answered, 'I sometimes try, but I do not know how to pray; I wish you would pray for me, till i can pray for myself.' As I continued to sit by her, she appeared much dejected. I asked her the reason. She said, 'I am afraid I should go to hell.' 'My dear, (said I,) who told you so?' 'Nobody, (said she,) but I know, if I do not pray to the Lord, I must go to hell.' I then went to prayer with her, with many tears.
Sarah was getting progressively more ill. Fuller read to her from Revelation 7. He waned to cheer her, but the passage made her sad. He asked if she was afraid of going to heaven. She replied in the affirmative He asked why.
'Because (said she, with a tone of grief that pierced me to the heart,) I have sinned against the Lord.' 'True, my dear, (said I,) you have sinned against the Lord; but the Lord is more ready to forgive you, if you are grieved for offending him, than I can be to forgive you, when you are grieved for offending me; and you know I am ready to do that.' I then told her of the great grace of God, and the love of Christ to sinners. I told her of his mercy in forgiving a poor, wicked thief, who, when he was dying, prayed to him to save his soul. At this she seemed cheered, but said nothing。
He prayed fervently for her salvation and threw himself on the floor in grief knowing she was near death. He became sick in bed because of his exertions over her. And it was while he was sick she died on May 30 at six and a half years of age.
He wrote some comments in his diary after her funeral:
"I feel, in general now, a degree of calm resignation. Surely, there is solid reason to hope that she has not lived in vain; and she is but reared for God, it matters not when she died..."
She was a very obedient child and only "had to smack her once as Nettles relates.
Here is what Fuller tells us of a conversation he had with his daughter in March of 1786.
'What do you wish me to pray for, my dear?' said I. She answered, 'That God would bless me, and keep me, and save my soul.' 'Do you think then, that you are a sinner?' 'Yes, father.' Fearing lest she did not understand what she said, I asked her, 'What is sin, my dear?' She answered, 'Telling a story.' I comprehended this, and it went to my heart. 'What, then, (I said,) you remember, do you, my having corrected you once, for telling a story?' 'Yes, father.' 'And are you grieved for having so offended God?' 'Yes, father.' I asked her, if she did not try to pray herself. She answered, 'I sometimes try, but I do not know how to pray; I wish you would pray for me, till i can pray for myself.' As I continued to sit by her, she appeared much dejected. I asked her the reason. She said, 'I am afraid I should go to hell.' 'My dear, (said I,) who told you so?' 'Nobody, (said she,) but I know, if I do not pray to the Lord, I must go to hell.' I then went to prayer with her, with many tears.
Sarah was getting progressively more ill. Fuller read to her from Revelation 7. He waned to cheer her, but the passage made her sad. He asked if she was afraid of going to heaven. She replied in the affirmative He asked why.
'Because (said she, with a tone of grief that pierced me to the heart,) I have sinned against the Lord.' 'True, my dear, (said I,) you have sinned against the Lord; but the Lord is more ready to forgive you, if you are grieved for offending him, than I can be to forgive you, when you are grieved for offending me; and you know I am ready to do that.' I then told her of the great grace of God, and the love of Christ to sinners. I told her of his mercy in forgiving a poor, wicked thief, who, when he was dying, prayed to him to save his soul. At this she seemed cheered, but said nothing。
He prayed fervently for her salvation and threw himself on the floor in grief knowing she was near death. He became sick in bed because of his exertions over her. And it was while he was sick she died on May 30 at six and a half years of age.
He wrote some comments in his diary after her funeral:
"I feel, in general now, a degree of calm resignation. Surely, there is solid reason to hope that she has not lived in vain; and she is but reared for God, it matters not when she died..."
I can't even begin to imagine. I think my son almost died when he was an infant just a few weeks old. He was in the bassinet next to my bed and for some reason, I woke up and put my hand on him and he was cold and not breathing. He was SO very still. I jumped up and shook him and nothing. I shook harder and still nothing. I picked him up and gave him a good pat on the back and he gasped and then started fussing. I didn't sleep again that night - it scared me so!