The Main Reason People Leave the Church-podcast

[Revmitchell]

“The worship leader refused to listen to me about the songs and music I wanted.”
“The pastor did not feed me.”
“No one from my church visited me.”
“I was not about to support the building program they wanted.”
“I was out two weeks and no one called me.”
“They moved the times of the worship services and it messed up my schedule.”
“I told my pastor to go visit my cousin and he never did.”

Do you see the theme there?

Here are the five ways I recommend closing the back door in churches:

Inform church members.
Raise the bar of expectations.
Mentor members.
Train members.
Encourage people to be in small groups.


http://thomrainer.com/2013/05/03/the-main-reason-people-leave-the-church-rainer-on-leadership-003/

 

[Yeshua1]

“The worship leader refused to listen to me about the songs and music I wanted.”
“The pastor did not feed me.”
“No one from my church visited me.”
“I was not about to support the building program they wanted.”
“I was out two weeks and no one called me.”
“They moved the times of the worship services and it messed up my schedule.”
“I told my pastor to go visit my cousin and he never did.”

Do you see the theme there?

Here are the five ways I recommend closing the back door in churches:

Inform church members.
Raise the bar of expectations.
Mentor members.
Train members.
Encourage people to be in small groups.


http://thomrainer.com/2013/05/03/the-main-reason-people-leave-the-church-rainer-on-leadership-003/

think biggest reason is that they came tio be served, but not as jesus said, to be a servant unto others!

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

think biggest reason is that they came tio be served, but not as jesus said, to be a servant unto others!

Ya nailed it! :thumbsup:

 

[HAMel]

My son told me many years ago that he didn't get anything out of the preacher in the church we were attending.

My opinion to him was that we should't go to church..., "to get". Rather, we should go to church "to give" (and I don't mean money). To me, we should go to worship.

Course, as it is with any port in a storm..., so it is with any excuse to leave. So, let 'em leave. :thumbs:

 

[just-want-peace]

My son told me many years ago that he didn't get anything out of the preacher in the church we were attending.

My opinion to him was that we should't go to church..., "to get". Rather, we should go to church "to give" (and I don't mean money). To me, we should go to worship.

Course, as it is with any port in a storm..., so it is with any excuse to leave. So, let 'em leave. :thumbs:

And with some of them, I say "Thank you Lord for small favors.":laugh:

 

[nodak]

My, the judgmental spirit is showing for sure?

Let's look again at each of those:

As to the worship leader: what if you believe the music has changed in a way that dishonors God? Should you stay and violate your conscience? It is easy to blow music off as personal preference, but it isn't always.

The pastor did not feed me: ok, but if this continues long term are you supposed to stay and starve? Hate to say it, but it is possible once in a while to just encounter a truly bad preacher. Isn't it better to join a church that IS feeding you? (In fact, isn't that what Blackaby taught in Experiencing God?)

No one from my church visited me: ok, if you had a sore toe last week and were out, you are being a baby. But I've encountered churches so cold that a leading deacon could have a heart attack and no one, not even the pastor, would visit him in the hospital. If that or a death in the family and you were not contacted even by phone, or card, yeah, move on and don't look back.

As to the schedule? It happens. Maybe you work two jobs and the new earlier service time means you aren't off work in time. Or maybe you have small children and the move to a two hour service with no nursery makes it impossible for you and all around you to worship. Or maybe you actually believe you need to spend time with your family and spouse, and the decision to drop Sunday School in favor of small groups spread out over the week is just too divisive to be healthy in your family.

More and more I see the services of the church as just that: services we offer to people to help facilitate their strong relationship with Christ. They are not command performances that missing make one bad Christians. And we better get used to the idea if folks find our music lousy, our preaching lousy, or our friendliness lacking the problem is ours, not theirs.

I'm sorry, but I am not going to waste my time, my money, or bore my family right out of the church if the music or preaching are....bad.

I'll work hard to help change it and make church better. But if I hit a brick wall I have no qualms about walking out the door and finding a better functioning church. As Blackaby taught, I'd look around and see where God is clearly working and join up and pitch in there.

 

[Earth Wind and Fire]

I'll work hard to help change it and make church better. But if I hit a brick wall I have no qualms about walking out the door and finding a better functioning church. As Blackaby taught, I'd look around and see where God is clearly working and join up and pitch in there.

Hear Hear:applause:

 

[salzer mtn]

My, the judgmental spirit is showing for sure?

Let's look again at each of those:

As to the worship leader: what if you believe the music has changed in a way that dishonors God? Should you stay and violate your conscience? It is easy to blow music off as personal preference, but it isn't always.

The pastor did not feed me: ok, but if this continues long term are you supposed to stay and starve? Hate to say it, but it is possible once in a while to just encounter a truly bad preacher. Isn't it better to join a church that IS feeding you? (In fact, isn't that what Blackaby taught in Experiencing God?)

No one from my church visited me: ok, if you had a sore toe last week and were out, you are being a baby. But I've encountered churches so cold that a leading deacon could have a heart attack and no one, not even the pastor, would visit him in the hospital. If that or a death in the family and you were not contacted even by phone, or card, yeah, move on and don't look back.

As to the schedule? It happens. Maybe you work two jobs and the new earlier service time means you aren't off work in time. Or maybe you have small children and the move to a two hour service with no nursery makes it impossible for you and all around you to worship. Or maybe you actually believe you need to spend time with your family and spouse, and the decision to drop Sunday School in favor of small groups spread out over the week is just too divisive to be healthy in your family.

More and more I see the services of the church as just that: services we offer to people to help facilitate their strong relationship with Christ. They are not command performances that missing make one bad Christians. And we better get used to the idea if folks find our music lousy, our preaching lousy, or our friendliness lacking the problem is ours, not theirs.

I'm sorry, but I am not going to waste my time, my money, or bore my family right out of the church if the music or preaching are....bad.

I'll work hard to help change it and make church better. But if I hit a brick wall I have no qualms about walking out the door and finding a better functioning church. As Blackaby taught, I'd look around and see where God is clearly working and join up and pitch in there.

Bravo :applause:

 

[Thousand Hills]

My, the judgmental spirit is showing for sure?

Let's look again at each of those:

As to the worship leader: what if you believe the music has changed in a way that dishonors God? Should you stay and violate your conscience? It is easy to blow music off as personal preference, but it isn't always.

The pastor did not feed me: ok, but if this continues long term are you supposed to stay and starve? Hate to say it, but it is possible once in a while to just encounter a truly bad preacher. Isn't it better to join a church that IS feeding you? (In fact, isn't that what Blackaby taught in Experiencing God?)

No one from my church visited me: ok, if you had a sore toe last week and were out, you are being a baby. But I've encountered churches so cold that a leading deacon could have a heart attack and no one, not even the pastor, would visit him in the hospital. If that or a death in the family and you were not contacted even by phone, or card, yeah, move on and don't look back.

As to the schedule? It happens. Maybe you work two jobs and the new earlier service time means you aren't off work in time. Or maybe you have small children and the move to a two hour service with no nursery makes it impossible for you and all around you to worship. Or maybe you actually believe you need to spend time with your family and spouse, and the decision to drop Sunday School in favor of small groups spread out over the week is just too divisive to be healthy in your family.

More and more I see the services of the church as just that: services we offer to people to help facilitate their strong relationship with Christ. They are not command performances that missing make one bad Christians. And we better get used to the idea if folks find our music lousy, our preaching lousy, or our friendliness lacking the problem is ours, not theirs.

I'm sorry, but I am not going to waste my time, my money, or bore my family right out of the church if the music or preaching are....bad.

I'll work hard to help change it and make church better. But if I hit a brick wall I have no qualms about walking out the door and finding a better functioning church. As Blackaby taught, I'd look around and see where God is clearly working and join up and pitch in there.

Thank you, many churches look everywhere but in the mirror for why people leave or why the church isn't "growing".

 

[Jon-Marc]

The problem with too many people is that they don't like it when the pastor preaches against their favorite sin. It's too often not "What can I do for the Lord", but rather "What will the Lord do for me?" and "What will I get out of it if I go to church?"

Too often people go home from church and have roast pastor for dinner. I knew a pastor who told me about a woman who came up to him and started with, "I have my faults, but---" That's when the pastor interrupted her and said, "That's great! People are always telling me about my faults, but none of them have ever admitted to having any themselves. Can you elaborate a little on your faults?" The woman became so flabbergasted, embarrassed, and tongue-tied that she couldn't say anything and just walked away.

 

[nodak]

Do you really believe people live the church because the pastor spoke on their favorite sin?

I have never seen that. Now mind you, I've seen a few sort themselves out as to what church they attend based on that. Seen gays choose an ELCA church over an SBC church.

But in general, I would say when otherwise committed Christians walk out the door of some specific church, especially when they do it en masse, there just might be a problem with the church service.

We've encountered so many wonderful, capable, gifted pastors in our many moves. But once in a while....you get a man who is just plain convinced he should rule everyone's lives, or is nice as all get out but just lacks public speaking skills, or cannot string two coherent sentences together, or insists on music that drives his congregation bonkers, or just plain rambles far toooooooo long. Once even encountered one that bragged how long he had been preaching and freely admitted never had been saved.

 

[Revmitchell]

http://www.worshiphousemedia.com/mini-movies/42/Mechurch

 

[Revmitchell]

There is no doubt that people leave churches over leadership issues. But more times than not it is about not being catered too.