The marriage bed

Now tell my husband.

 

Christine,

my children do not 'use' the BB. But if they are here when I am on-line they can and sometimes do read over my shoulder. If a topic I think inappropriate to them is under discussion I merely do not visit its thread when they are able to do this.

Your apology is accepted to remain in line with another thread....

The truth is, on the main page, the Members' Private Forum does say it is password protected, but I assume this is for posting purposes only.

God Bless
Bro. Dallas

 

Christine,
No problem! You did not offend me.

A little bit off topic.I did notice in your profile that you said you are getting interested in religion again and want to learn. I am glad to see that you are studying the Scripture and reading here. I hope that you will trust Jesus Christ as your Savior! BTW, I was in the military too!

Getting back to the original topic, yes, I agree with what you have said. And any man of God who loves his wife as Christ loved the Christ.

But, I like to speak about the woman's part for that is what I am to concern myself with.

 

A person is responsable for themselves and their own sins, no one else is answerable for anothers sins. We through the indwelling Holy SPirit have the power to resist satan, if we choose to sin, we can n ot blame anyone else. The bible tells us we are answerable for our won sins. Meaning I'm not responsable for anyones sins. A man sinsa ll on his own, he needs no help from me.

 

A man's infidelity to the marriage bed has nothing to do with whether the wife refuses sexual advances or not. Think of the countless men, who through illness, are ill equipped, or the women who happen to be sickly. We are to be faithful to each other regardless. Hence, there is no excuse.

The sexual act is not the beginnig and it is not the end, it is a part of the love affair with one's spouse and it has equal duty. If it is not mutual, then it has no place in that secret place designed for love. We are but footsoldiers in the Lord's army. We do not give commands to eath other, but enjoy mutual intercourse in all things. We raise our children together. It is not her responsibility. We make house and home together. This does not fall on only one. For this reason we have been joined in holy matrimony, and the twain have become one.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Jim!!!What planet are you from???

Just kidding, I agree with you completely and couldn't have said it better myself.

Bro.Dallas

 

We would, however, be amiss if we did not agree that though we may not be held accountable for the sins of another, our sins do bear consequences!

A woman cannot walk around purposely dressed like a harlot and not expect to face up to what she has done.

Do you think Bathsheba was not held accountable for what she did? Though David made a horrible decision, so did she.

Julia

 

I agree that each one of us will have to answer to the Lord for everything we did after we were saved. And our sins do have consequences, we reap and sow. God is not mocked, whatever we reap we will also sow.

However, this verse does imply that for those who defraud there is a possibility of satan tempting during that time. So, yes if the person decides to commit adultery then they are repsonsible for their own sins and will reap and sow as well as answer to God. And the person that defrauded will answer for that.

 

Totally off the subject, but did you just say "I think y'all should have sex this week?"

Cuz I can't imagine saying that to anyone , regardless of my relationship to them!
I'd die of embarrassment... But that's just me.

 

I think age may have something to do with it. I've told it to past-due women (women that I know - I wouldn't go up to a stranger and make such a suggestion!) before, too, but wouldn't have dreamed of doing so in my late teens.

As to the topic . . .
HCL, I see your point about always being tired, and this is where I think both partners do have a responsibility to each other to make time just for them. I think that's really what this verse is about - spouses ensuring that they make and spend time together as a couple, that they not continually deny each other the pleasures of being married, including but not limited to sexual pleasures. If we think about abstention, doesn't that refer to a long-ish period? If we don't think of it that way, we could take this verse to mean that couples are commanded to have sex as often as physically possible, unless they're praying or fasting. If you weren't tired before . . .

When I read I Corinthians 7:5, it sounds almost as if the people of Corinth were of the mind that they should not be sharing sex and were truly depriving each other of it, and that Paul is telling them, no, it's perfectly fine to have sex with your spouse, and the only reason you might have to want to refrain for a period of time is if it will interfere with your prayer life. But it doesn't at all sound as though a wife must roll over every time her husband says so, and vice versa.

Hehe. He's sorta right. He does have authority over her body, but so does she over his (I Corinthians 7:4). There's that pesky mutual agreement and respect stuff again! If both partners are not in agreement, it would seem that they would be at an impasse. If he were to say, "I have authority over your body, so I'm gonna do what I please with it," why couldn't she shoot right back with, "Oh yeah? Well I've got authority over your body, so here's a book and a mug of chocolate, make do with that, cos I'm not lettin' ya do anything else!"

When one has authority over something, it is not the same as having power over it. Authority can only exist when there is that *cough* mutual respect. Without it, you have brute force and "power over," neither of which is "authority."

Communication is definitely the key, though, to keeping each other fully aware of the other's sexual drive. Anyone remember the movie Annie Hall? To the question, "how often do you sleep together?" Alvy answers, "Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week." To the question, "Do you have sex often?" Annie answers, "Constantly! I'd say three times a week." The partners have to figure out what reasonable expectations are - it's just as unreasonable to demand sex all the time, particularly when your spouse is uninterested, as it is to withhold sex for weeks or months on end. But it's up to each pair to figure out their needs and desires - individually and as a couple - and respect each other in that way.

And while it's true that each one is responsible for his or her own sins, it is also true that in neglecting a spouse, one also sins. One does not excuse the other, don't get me wrong, but most times, sexual infidelity doesn't just happen, and much of the time it isn't really about sex, not directly. It's usually - not always, but usually - indicative of another problem, either at home or within. So, no, a spouse isn't responsible for the other spouse's infidelity, even if that spouse has been unreasonably withholding sex, but such unreasonable abstention may have contributed to the other spouse's not feeling loved or desired, whereas if they'd been getting that sort of food from their mate, they might not have felt a need to seek it elsewhere.

[ May 22, 2003, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: stubbornkelly ]