The New Testament for Gen Z

[John of Japan]

nd once again, a bizarre translation is being produced, similar to the "Cotton Patch Version." This one is called "The New Testament for Gen Z," and it not only does a terrible job of paraphrasing, it has heresy. Here are some examples from the book on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/New-Testament-Gen-Z/dp/B0CGL9T5NY/ref=sr_1_6?crid=FBMM0HGHL39T&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.AuOVecs_vRJpPLZsRCzhUeJvmrqZR4UuBN03c48kzAm8vwRK4MazgL_P312MMfzKpndJ9KqopoLV7_4yGT6SXbY-jsdW4dJ8tPSf7TioTQ4clK_YRvZjRyGPJEK9S8Sz_6kN-0s_x-JW35rd1j5yf80yf0uHoFWvD8t3enaVHTxNhKlcDgKguefkulI9uSJFF0tw6OQrhU31xxZHD6TAsrvlE-dbbiBlqMkHp1cYEpE.GdtU8KcjHaFFBweDKGAIPvxHiXj_ZQ6oVFkzqMX828A&dib_tag=se&keywords=bible+translation+story&qid=1712775429&s=books&sprefix=bible+translation+story,stripbooks,121&sr=1-6):

• Example Translation #1
  
  Original text: "That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly. And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward."
  
  Updated version: "Keep your acts of kindness hush-hush, and your heavenly Father, who sees everything, will give you props for real, like in public and stuff. Now, when it comes to prayin', don't be like those hypocrites. They love showin' off, prayin' loud and clear in the synagogues and on street corners, just so people will notice them. Let me tell ya, they've already got what they were after."

• Example Translation #2
  
  Original text: "And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple."
  
  Updated version: "So Jesus bounced from the temple and his crew rolled up to him, flexing the sick architecture of the place."

• Example Translation #3
  
  Original text: "And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand and were choked in the sea."
  
  Updated version: "So, Jesus was like, ‘Alright, go for it.’ And those unclean spirits bounced out of the guy and straight into the pigs. The whole herd freaked out, ran like crazy down a steep slope, and ended up drowning in the sea. There were about two thousand of them, man."

• Example Translation #4
  
  Original text: "And when the Pharisee saw it, he marvelled that he had not first washed before dinner."
  
  Updated version: "But then, this Pharisee homie sees that Jesus didn't wash his hands before dinner, and he's all shook, like, ‘What's up with that?’"

 

[John of Japan]

Here is a heretical rendering from Google Books, in that it calls God "the top g," with God in lower case (The Gospel by Gen Z)

"Mary was a pick me girl for god and was simping for him in prayer when the angel gabriel appeared to her and said ayo you're a real one and the top g is feelin you but she thought his compliment was low key sus and gave him the side eye so he said babygirl chill god sent me to tell you youve passed his vibe check"

 

[John of Japan]

One of my students found their website at: GenZ.Bible - A KJV-to-GenZ Translation & AI-Powered Study Guide.. Check out these verses from John 3. Oddly enough, v. 16 is fairly normal!

10.
Jesus was like, seriously? Are you, like, supposed to be this knowledgeable leader in Israel, and you don't even know this stuff?
11.
For real, I'm telling you straight up, we're talking about what we really know and giving our firsthand account, but you're not accepting our testimony.
12.
Like, if I spill some basic facts that happen right here on Earth and you still don't vibe with it, how are you gonna grasp the bigger cosmic stuff if I drop that knowledge on you?
13.
No one has ever like, gone up to heaven, except the dude who came down from heaven, you know, the Son of man who's chilling up there in heaven.
14.
And like, remember how Moses was like, holding up that snake in the desert? Well, in the same way, the Son of man has to be, you know, raised up too:
15.
So, like, anyone who, like, totally believes in him won't, like, die or anything, but will have, like, eternal life, you know?
16.
God loved the world so much, that he sent his one and only Son, so that those who trust in him will not be destroyed, but will have never-ending life.
17.
God didn't send his Son to trash the world, but to save it through him.
18.
If you trust him, you won't get judged. But if you don't trust him, you're already in a tough spot because you haven't trusted in the name of God's one and only Son.

 

[tyndale1946]

Sounds to me like the Hippie version... Can I bring my board to church?... Gnarly Dude!... Brother ( way back in the day) Glen

 

[John of Japan]

Sounds to me like the Hippie version... Can I bring my board to church?... Gnarly Dude!... Brother ( way back in the day) Glen

Smokin'!

 

[John of Japan]

Check out Psalm 23.

1.
[A Psalm by David.] The LORD is like my ultimate guide; I won't need anything else.
2.
God gets me to chillax in lush, grassy spots and guides me to peaceful, calm waters. Dude knows how to create perfect vibes, you know.
3.
He totally revives my soul: he guides me down the legit paths of doing right by his name.
4.
Even if I'm in a really dark and scary place, like seriously bad vibes, I won't be freaking out because you're right there with me, and your guidance and support give me major comfort.
5.
You hook me up with a lit feast right in front of my haters. You bless me with fresh swag and my drip be overflowin'. {anointest: like, making me extra fly}
6.
Like, no cap, blessings and love will be with me every day of my life. And I'm gonna chill in God's crib forevz. {forevz: it's like super long}

 

[Deacon]

It’s a poor AI translation
Dope goes in - dope comes out

Rob

 

[John of Japan]

Check out Psalm 23.

1.
[A Psalm by David.] The LORD is like my ultimate guide; I won't need anything else.
2.
God gets me to chillax in lush, grassy spots and guides me to peaceful, calm waters. Dude knows how to create perfect vibes, you know.
3.
He totally revives my soul: he guides me down the legit paths of doing right by his name.
4.
Even if I'm in a really dark and scary place, like seriously bad vibes, I won't be freaking out because you're right there with me, and your guidance and support give me major comfort.
5.
You hook me up with a lit feast right in front of my haters. You bless me with fresh swag and my drip be overflowin'. {anointest: like, making me extra fly}
6.
Like, no cap, blessings and love will be with me every day of my life. And I'm gonna chill in God's crib forevz. {forevz: it's like super long}

So in v. 2 it calls God "Dude." Really??? That is incredibly disrespectful to the God of the universe. Would a GenZ young person call their boss at work "Dude"? I hope not.

In v. 3 it has "legit" instead of "righteousness." The term "legit" is a legal term, not meaning "righteous" but short for "legitimate." So "legit paths of doing right" is a big mistake.

In v. 4 it has "scary" instead "shadow of death." There is a huge difference between the two concepts.

In v. 5 it says to God, "You hook me up." That is a totally improper term. The term "hook up" is used by GenZ young people for committing fornication.

In v. 5 it has God blessing with "swag." The meaning for that is "valuable goods, often obtained illegally." (Swag - Definition, Meaning & Synonyms.) That totally loses the meal metaphor, not to mention being materialistic rather than metaphorical.

In v. 6 it has "forevz" as meaning "super long." So I guess the "translator" thinks that someday "forever" will end.

I really question the "translator's" knowledge of GenZ dialect. You see the semantic mistakes I pointed out, I hope. Further, I discussed this with my seminary GenZ students, and they were very dismissive, saying that they don't talk that way, and don't know anyone who does.